Home Health & Wellbeing
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right now, well, (triggering)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
could really do with some help right about now,

its been a while i know,
just wrote a really long message, going into probably too much detail anyway, and it deleted its self,
basically,
- haven't harm myself in quite a while now (unless you count excessive drinking, drug taking, putting myself into situations where i could easily come to harm etc as 'harming myself')
-family/friends still don't know anything
-i was at uni in Winchester for nearly a year and saw a councilor for about three weeks before i left, (im now in Northampton uni, much nearer to home) those three weeks helped so much its unbelievable, theres no where around where i live that i could do that again tho', and at my new uni, well it took me nearly a year of uni to ask for help last time, and before that it took everything i had till uni to bring myself to ask for help, i don't know if i can do this again,
-in Winchester i eventually caved and told a couple of the girls i was living with about a few of my issues, i don't feel that close or like im going to get that close to anyone i live with, despite liking and getting on with every one i live with currently,
-kinda feel like i need to discuss this with some one,
-for some reason, ive no idea why, almost in a trace after getting ready for bed i got up, found a new surgical scalpel from my graphics kit and started cutting my legs again, ive momentarily stopped myself by writing this, but right at this moment in time, i have no idea whats wrong with me or why the fuck i feel like this,
some help of any kind would be much appreciated,
Xx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i remember at some point some one on this site told me that hugging your teddy bear (If you have one that is) is a good idea, to keep your mind off the bad stuff, so ive got my bear all snuggled next to me
    Xx
  • ReenaReena Fanatical Poster Posts: 1,375 The Mix Regular
    I would consider that self harming if you are doing it with the thoughts of self hatred.
    How are you now?

    I always think it's better to let it out rather than keep it in. Talking to others really helped me but you have to find someone you can really talk to, someone you feel comfortable with, who you know can accept these types of issues.
    I don't know how much help I can be but I'll listen and hopefully help a little.

    It's not unusual to self harm without something triggering it. I had days like that so you're not alone. I was so confused as to why I did it. At the time I even forced myself to think about all the negative thoughts- which I then felt justified my actions. But all those thoughts weren't real, I know that now and think, "What was I doing? Why was I trying to make it worse?"
    Now I dissect each bad thought, I look at the facts for what they really are and I'm able to move past them.
    Have you thought about telling your friends and family? It's okay if you don't, you have TheSite.

    The second time I went to counseling I asked for it and pushed because it helped so much the 1st time. But in the beginning, I really struggled asking for help from anyone, including the counselor. I found it hard to open up but some how I did, and it was the best thing I ever did.
    Give that ted a big squeeze. Thinking of you, Reena. xx :heart:
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