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'Is it the girls fault for wearing a short skirt'

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
what.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why are you obsessed with calling girls sluts?

    and how exactly does a girl dress 'slutty?'

    this whole post is ridiculous. your example of how you got beat up because you were dressed a bit alternatively is absolutely nothing to do with a girl dressing in a short skirt and getting raped. you were just targeted by some small minded jackasses. would you say then if a male went to a gay club dressed in very little clothing and he got raped that it was his fault?

    I think you have some issues.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't want to get involved in this debate, but it's worth pointing out that.. The idea of "a slut" is socially constructed. There is no such thing as a slut, society have made up what a slut is... just like they make up norms and values etc etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are some sick minded individuals out there who rape people. They will find any excuse to justify their own behaviour. One of those justifications might be the length of a skirt, the other might be the girl making eye contact for half a second, or smiling, or running her hands through her hair e.t.c.

    There is no justification, except what goes through some sicko's head.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,243 Skive's The Limit
    There are things you can do to lessen the chance of becoming a victim of crime.
    But if a crime is committed it is the criminal who is 100% at fault every time.

    If a girl is raped then the rapist is 100% at fault.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What Skive said. Precisely what Skive said.

    The argument "short skirts are arousing therefore rape" is a ridiculous argument. It's basically saying that men are too stupid and weak-willed to be able to look at a sexy woman in sexy clothing without feeling the need to force their penis inside her. Now speaking as a man, I'd say that was utter bullshit, I'm perfectly capable of seeing hot girls without having uncontrollable urges to put my penis inside them. I may want to sex them but I'd ask them first. I always retain full control of where my John Thomas goes to play.

    If you can't see a girl without being all rapey then I would politely suggest you have serious psychiatric issues and you should be detained indefinitely for our safety. And if you have all the self-control of a toddler sticking jam sandwiches in a DVD player perhaps we should take your little toy off you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *twitch*

    *twitch*

    *twitch*
    Shikari wrote: »
    It is the girls fault for wearing a short skirt - NOT completely - but yes that would put her to fault. I know this is completely true.
    You *know* this, do you? Point me to evidence, please?
    And i know, people will hate me for saying it. But what you wear does effect you, if you dress like a slut you've a higher chance of being raped (I don't know this statistically) purely because you will arouse people and it's easy access (this is what i assume).
    You don't know this statistically because I'm afraid it's bullshit:
    Myth: Women who are sexually assaulted 'ask for it' by the way they dress or act, rape only happens to young women.

    Fact: Many women are led to believe that if they are not part of a certain category of women then they are 'safe' from being raped. Women and girls of all ages, classes, culture, ability, sexuality, race and faith are raped. Attractiveness has little significance. Reports show that there is a great diversity in the way targeted women act or dress. Rapists choose women based on their vulnerability not their physical appearance.

    Sauce.

    As an aside, please tell me how a "slut" dresses? Or even what a slut IS?
    But you've got to expect what could happen... You could go to say 'it shouldn't happen', but we live in a nasty world with nasty people.
    I actually agree with this. It shouldn't happen, but it does, and as Skive says, taking precautionary measures to reduce the risk to yourself is not a stupid thing to do. But that doesn't make it anybody's fault but the offender's if they choose to offend - whether the girl is wearing her underwear in the street or a nun's habit.
    People judge people, on their appearance, and your appearance surely plays a huge factor in getting raped.
    The only factor in being raped is that someone decided to rape you.
    I was beaten up purely because of what i wearing
    You were beaten up because someone chose to beat you up. They are at fault here.
    The fact i still choose to wear those clothes makes it my fault if i get hurt, i knew it could happen, but i still chose to do it, does make it my fault. Like wise if a girl wears revealing clothing, i do believe they know the risks and they understand them by choosing to dress that way.
    Knowing the risks and choosing to take them anyway doesn't make it your fault, it just means you know the risks. Wearing a certain style of clothing in an area where people are judgemental doesn't make it your fault if you're attacked. It may make it more likely, but the fault still lies with the attacker. 100%. The only thing that will make a woman more likely to be raped is if she comes across someone who decides to rape her. That's all.
    The girl didn't deserve to get raped, she just encouraged it with her clothing. If you get what i mean?
    She didn't deserve it...but it's her fault? Silly girl for thinking that people were decent human beings!

    Nobody ENCOURAGES rape. Nobody. Ever. A woman is just as likely to get raped in strict Muslim countries wearing a niqab as they are walking through the park in a mini skirt. A woman is just as likely to be raped (in fact more so, since they are inherently more vulnerable) if she is elderly as she is if she's in her 20's.

    The only factor in a woman's rape is her rapist, as it is for men and children. The only person responsible in *any way* is the rapist. There is no fault with the victim. None. Reducing the risk to herself is her own choice but if she wants to wear a miniskirt and stilettos she should be able to without being at risk of groping or harassment or attack.

    And ffs there is no such thing as a "slut". Eugh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understand that politics and debate has varying views but this is offensive to so many people who have experienced and are trying to recover from sexual assault. The victim has to live with it and all the memories for the rest of their lives and it takes so damn long to accept that they weren't at fault and in many cases that is never accepted. No one deserves it, regardless of whether they are wearing a shorter than average skirt. Did I deserve to be sexually assaulted in my own house, by my then partner, because I was wearing a shorter skirt? No. Was the skirt the reason? No. It's a pathetic excuse. Men aren't accused of being at fault for wearing tight jeans nor are they accused of being "sluts" for doing so.

    Like Skive said, it's the fault of the rapist NOT the victim.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No matter what a woman wears, or a man for that matter, the rapist is the one who rapes and its nothing to do with the victim.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely the time/place where a woman is as well as the company she is keeping have a greater weighting on her chances of being raped rather than the clothes she is wearing? Women are raped when they're wearing all kinds of clothes - I highly doubt the rapist comes across a girl in a short skirt and decides to rape her purely on that basis. It's more to do with being in the wrong place at the wrong time because a sick individual decided to rape. And whilst I'm no expert on the psychology of rape, I think it's more to do with power and dominance than acting on arousal. So the argument that a woman is partly to blame for being raped is ridiculous, yes there are things you can do to lessen your chances of being a victim of crime but I don't think the clothes women wear makes a difference. If a rapist sees a woman and decides to rape her then they're going to do it regardless of what she's wearing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate that we live in a society which teaches women not to be raped, rather than teaching men not to rape...

    Or what few anti-rape ads we have focus on the criminal consequences, rather than the act being repulsive for other reasons.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find your post pretty insulting. It'd be interesting to see if you are able to provide a definition on what you think a slut is because I was begining to think it was a derogatory term used to put women down. At the moment you seem to think a bit of leg makes a woman fair game.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    I hate that we live in a society which teaches women not to be raped, rather than teaching men not to rape...

    Or what few anti-rape ads we have focus on the criminal consequences, rather than the act being repulsive for other reasons.

    Exactly.

    There's nothing hotter than a sexy lady demanding that you sex her. I think anti-rape campaigns highlighting this fact, and highlighting the fact that people who want to sex a comatose body are a bit weird, can only be a good thing.

    But what I really don't understand is the idea that a short skirt = asking for it. "hop on big boy" is consent, passing out drunk at a party is not. And do men really not have enough self control to keep their dick in their pants? Haway.

    It's a good argument to use in court to get acquitted of rape, sure, but men who rape damn well know they're raping.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    There are things you can do to lessen the chance of becoming a victim of crime.
    But if a crime is committed it is the criminal who is 100% at fault every time.

    If a girl is raped then the rapist is 100% at fault.

    Exactly this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure that this is even worth the effort of typing out a reasoned response.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the OP might have started to get the general consensus of opinion in here.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    It's basically saying that men are too stupid and weak-willed to be able to look at a sexy woman in sexy clothing without feeling the need to force their penis inside her.

    Not that I agree with the OP's views, but you're wrong there: It's basically saying that some men are too stupid and weak-willed to be able to look at a sexy woman in sexy clothing without feeling the need to force their penis inside her. Which isn't exactly wrong...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not that I agree with the OP's views, but you're wrong there: It's basically saying that some men are too stupid and weak-willed to be able to look at a sexy woman in sexy clothing without feeling the need to force their penis inside her. Which isn't exactly wrong...

    No, I think AR is right, the message is as offensive to men because it teaches women to be scared of any man indescriminately.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you've slightly misunderstood me IC.

    "She was wearing a short skirt and I couldn't help myself" only works as an excuse if it is accepted that all men are similarly weak willed. Therefore anyone who attempts to use this excuse is basically saying that all men are weak-willed rapists who don't understand the difference between showing a bit of thigh and screaming "ride me big boy". If they knew what they were doing was wrong then this excuse wouldn't wash.

    Of course this is utter bollocks. Most men understand the difference between showing some cleavage and consenting to sex. Hence why most men are not rapists.

    And they say it's the "feminists" who have a poor opinion of men...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have a feeling this originates from a thread in the sex&relationship forum.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't read every response thoroughly, so in regards to what women wear being in anyway a free pass to 'rape' a woman (if that is what's being insinuated) is ridiculous. There is no excuse for acting out animal instincts (and acting like an animal) like that.

    With that said, I'll throw out my own opinion about 'sexy' clothes. Short shorts, etc. :) The problem I have with the 'sexy' clothing on women (and young teens) is the fact that, like it or not men are not created equal to women. Men in most cases can not help themselves and have to look, which in turn almost automatically creates 'fantasies' of said woman. To sum this up quickly.. this leads to an increase of lust, which in turn leads to increased cheating and men being overall unsatisfied with their current significant other.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JoeLeeFTW wrote: »
    I didn't read every response thoroughly, so in regards to what women wear being in anyway a free pass to 'rape' a woman (if that is what's being insinuated) is ridiculous. There is no excuse for acting out animal instincts (and acting like an animal) like that.

    With that said, I'll throw out my own opinion about 'sexy' clothes. Short shorts, etc. :) The problem I have with the 'sexy' clothing on women (and young teens) is the fact that, like it or not men are not created equal to women. Men in most cases can not help themselves and have to look, which in turn almost automatically creates 'fantasies' of said woman. To sum this up quickly.. this leads to an increase of lust, which in turn leads to increased cheating and men being overall unsatisfied with their current significant other.

    So it's womens fault that men cheat too?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    So it's womens fault that men cheat too?

    Re-read what I posted. I said men are not equal to women. Men are very visual and in turn when they are bombarded with women wearing skimpy/sexy clothing, they are more inclined to 'want' more from their significant other. In lamens terms - they get turned on. So yes, I think women wearing skimpy clothing increases the percentage of men that cheat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JoeLeeFTW wrote: »
    Men in most cases can not help themselves and have to look, which in turn almost automatically creates 'fantasies' of said woman. To sum this up quickly.. this leads to an increase of lust, which in turn leads to increased cheating and men being overall unsatisfied with their current significant other.

    Er, what?

    Most men who ogle a woman in a short skirt do so for about half a second then move on. Most men, whilst being unable to prevent themselves having a peek, are able to restrain themselves. I can't imagine many men suffering a relationship breakdown after seeing a pretty young thing in a pair of hotpants.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I work in an university. I spend my life working with attractive girls in shorts and tights. I'm yet to "lust" over any of them for more than about, ooh, four seconds.

    If your thought process goes "nice arse > rapey rapey" then you are a sick bastard.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JoeLeeFTW wrote: »
    Re-read what I posted. I said men are not equal to women. Men are very visual and in turn when they are bombarded with women wearing skimpy/sexy clothing, they are more inclined to 'want' more from their significant other. In lamens terms - they get turned on. So yes, I think women wearing skimpy clothing increases the percentage of men that cheat.

    That's just retarded. It's in fact like the muslim way of viewing the world. Women are covered so men don't have to control themselves. What complete horseshit.

    Furthermore, women are very visual too, my girlfriend damn near broke her neck trying to look at my arse and boobs at the same time the other nice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would disagree namaste, and say that boys and young men are shamed for being potential rapists through both the media and through the school system. At my school, boys were taken out of class, in a room with other boys, and patronised about what rape was (as if we didn't know) and, that even if we wanted to do it, we shouldn't.

    You couldn't pull black kids out of class and explain why theft was wrong, and you shouldn't be able to do it to boys either.

    As for skirts, well frankly its a ridiculous argument. I'm not sure why people even discuss it. Of course it's not the woman's fault. Short skirts probably have nothing to do with rape even as a causal factor. Alcohol certainly makes people more vulnerable though, and predators will target the Vulnerable. But that's not just rape, that's violent crime and assorted personal crimes too.

    I would guess far more men get the shit kicked out of them when drunk than women who are raped when drunk, but as a society we are obsessed with the fragility and helplessness of women, in effect we put women in a perpetual state of victimhood, as we do with children.

    I think that in itself is more offensive because we are saying that women are vulnerable and need rules / guidelines to be protected because they can't cater for themselves. But a guy getting shit faced and getting run over / beat up, people can accept that he made his own decision.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I work in an university. I spend my life working with attractive girls in shorts and tights. I'm yet to "lust" over any of them for more than about, ooh, four seconds.

    If your thought process goes "nice arse > rapey rapey" then you are a sick bastard.

    One thing I am genuinely curious about is why the rate of rape increases so dramatically in conflict areas. I'd assume if only a small proportion of people are rapists, gang rape and mass rape wouldn't be a thing. But even US soldiers are well documented as raping everything that moved in vietnam etc.

    I honestly don't know the answer because it's two incongruous bits of knowledge for me: only a small minority of people are rapists (and will rape regardless of what you're wearing) and in areas where law and order breaks down, rape often becomes common as anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rape is a very effective wartime weapon (if that's the right word) because it can so often utterly destroy the victim and their family and their associates. You see rape used as a weapon in conflict areas for this very reason, sometimes deliberately and sometimes subconsciously, as a way of asserting authority and control over other people. If your army rapes an entire village then that village is subjugated and will be long after you move on.

    I think most people are capable of doing very cruel things if you put them in the right environment. But that's slightly different to what we're talking about here.

    Control and power in a sexual relationship can be very arousing, just look at the BDSM community (or indeed just how much attention Fifty Shades of Shite has got). I think we can all agree on that, whether you're dom or sub or switch. But again that's very different.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shyboy... If society shames men so much, then why are rape jokes, which shame the victim-survivor so prevalent in mainstream comedy?

    In school, we were taught about equality, sure (and if you can rape somebody, you are a potential rapist to an individual capable of being raped, the same as if you have a gun and can use it, you have the potential to shoot somebody), but that isn't nowt to do with shame? I'd teach my kids not to rape, not to be bigoted ect because these attitudes exist in society.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if not wearing a short skirt would guarantee that i could not get raped wherever i go then i would stop wearing them instantly. as it stands, i know that people are shit so i'm likely to get assaulted whatever i wear just because i'm a woman.
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