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Online Counselling or Face-to-Face?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Does anyone have experience of both/either? If so, would you recommend online counselling? Which do you think is the most beneficial?
I have concerns that online counselling doesn't allow someone to read your body language and as I am sure most internet users are aware, some of the things you say online can be interpreted differently to what you actually mean - again, its something that someone face-to-face would pick up on based on the way you say it...if that makes sense?
The benefits to online counselling I guess would be the convenience. Now I have a new job - its Monday to Friday and I don't think it would be a good idea for me to walk into a new job and request an hour off each week...especially as they are completely unaware of what has happened in the past few months. I know it will come out eventually but to begin with, it will be nice not to be known as "the girl whose dad committed suicide".
I could just about afford private counselling now but do people offer evening/weekend appointments? All the ones I can find only seem to be normal Monday - Friday office hours!?!
I have reservations about going back into it in general if I'm being honest. I went to the gym last night and that helped with my mood somewhat so maybe I should just be making the most of my gym membership a little more rather than spending out money for counselling?!?
I have concerns that online counselling doesn't allow someone to read your body language and as I am sure most internet users are aware, some of the things you say online can be interpreted differently to what you actually mean - again, its something that someone face-to-face would pick up on based on the way you say it...if that makes sense?
The benefits to online counselling I guess would be the convenience. Now I have a new job - its Monday to Friday and I don't think it would be a good idea for me to walk into a new job and request an hour off each week...especially as they are completely unaware of what has happened in the past few months. I know it will come out eventually but to begin with, it will be nice not to be known as "the girl whose dad committed suicide".
I could just about afford private counselling now but do people offer evening/weekend appointments? All the ones I can find only seem to be normal Monday - Friday office hours!?!
I have reservations about going back into it in general if I'm being honest. I went to the gym last night and that helped with my mood somewhat so maybe I should just be making the most of my gym membership a little more rather than spending out money for counselling?!?
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Comments
and you keep going to the gym if it helps you.
good luck about the counselling.
Have you explored how the online counselling would occur? They may use something like Skype or Webconferencing, in which case you'd have a visual clue. Perhaps get in touch with someone and see?
Online:
- Can say some things that perhaps you'd be scared to say face to face; it can be a little more anonymous that way
- Easier to get distracted. E.g. someone talking to you in the background and not being able to get rid of them easily. I found I was more able to get into "the zone" with face to face because I had to set the time aside and get there, then had time after to reflect whereas with online counselling it can be a case of the session finishes and you just do something else.
- It was harder to connect with the counsellor because you've never met them and you can't gague them.
- My counsellor would always bring everything back down to one thing and it was incredibly frustrating because, whilst they may have the same root, I wasn't always ready to think about it in such a big context and so I got incredibly frustrated from hearing that week after week.
I can see why it is a good idea though. If, like you, you're working or live somewhere inaccessible it's a great idea! Sadly I found it didn't really work with me.
Face to face:
- As I already said, having to go there in person and "getting into the zone"
- The rapport with the counsellor can be better established
- They know you better, I think - for example at the start of the session my counsellor would pick up on something I was wearing or how I was behaving and ask me about it, which got me talking - whereas that could never happen online. (I know that sounds weird, I should say it wasn't meant badly - e.g. I always wore a certain pair of shoes so one time she noticed and asked me if they were special or something and I was able to say what they meant to me, how I'd saved up for them etc and it got me talking at least. Might not be everyone's cup of tea but we really got on!).
- It's nice to hear someone's voice. It's more instant because you don't have to wait for someone to type or for your connection to break or there be a technical error or something (which happened with online counselling sometimes!).
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It's difficult to know whether you should go back into counselling. I found for me at least it created a dependence because I would always think about things to say that I wanted to talk about BUT that didn't necessarily mean that it was a good thing. When my sessions finished (I had 24 sessions, max allotted) I struggled with the change and felt my head was full and I had no outlet for it. So that is something to be aware of.
However, I got a lot out of it. It wasn't necessarily enough to change my behaviours (that's more what you do in CBT) but it helped a heck of a lot with my self-awareness, realising what I was doing and my ability to step back from situations and see what I was doing etc. It was by no means the end of therapeutic interventions but at a time when I was feeling very low indeed it was what I needed to be able to keep going. I suppose though that's more relevant for someone with depression rather than bereavement though! At the time I needed the space to get things in my head out, to talk about them and perhaps start addressing the causes of the problem.
I feel like I'm throwing more change at myself and then struggling to cope with it all. But I don't want to go back to counselling because it makes me feel like a failure
How long were you in counselling for? When did you stop? If it's recently you stopped, it could still be the adjustment phase? Perhaps you could continue to go to the gym and see if that helps you?
I'm still using the gym...I feel better while I'm there but the effect doesn't last. I know I'm a hypocrite for saying this but I don't believe I deserve counselling. I feel like I should just get on with it.
I think it's a common feeling to feel like you don't deserve counselling, but if you can possibly get past that, it could well do you a lot of good Obviously I can't tell you that you should go back, but it sounds like you might benefit from another course of counselling.
I know I need to go back...I just don't know who would be best to go to. I also think it's stupid that the uni allow part time students to access the service but don't offer evening appts!
I don't know how old you are, but I know some of the places from which I've received counselling only had appointments in the evening - these were mainly young peoples' services so up to the age of 25 really.
I'm 23 so sounds useful...were these just local services or are they national?