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Flashbacks
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So recently I've been having what I can only describe as flashbacks. It feels like I completely zone out and I'm right back to the night before/morning of my Dad's suicide and I am experiencing how I felt at the time. But I also seem to play out alternative scenarios in my head of what could have happened if something had been different. At first these were controlled...they were thoughts that I started thinking about and could stop...now they aren't...they just hit me as and when and when I "come back to reality" I'll be in tears. More often than not they hit me whilst I'm at work. I guess I would find it really helpful to have some coping techniques on how to prevent them. It's a really recent thing...last week and a half mainly...I have suffered from nightmares previously and still do but they are less often now.
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Afraid I havent got any great ideas on how to prevent them, but how about always having a decent hanky in your pocket, so if you do end up in tears you're prepared?
Have you seen this website: Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS)? I was looking for a resource for a mate and came across it. They have a national helpline and I wondered if it might tide you over whilst you're waiting for Cruse.
I gave up waiting for Cruse and I start with someone else this week...:)
Good news Keep us posted.
I can't say that I've experienced flashbacks in quite the same way that you have. However, I do understand what you mean about the feelings side, and did undergo treatment for that, with my counsellor. I've mentioned it before, I think, EMDR. Some studies have shown that keeping your conscious mind active (by doing something repetitive like following a ball around a screen) allows the unconscious mind to process emotions and put them to rest. In your case, the emotions haven't been processed so they are bursting out uncontrolled.
I think i've recommended meditation to you before, and I think this is something which could really help you with this. Let me find some podcasts for you, and I'll recommend one. There's a podcast by 'meditation oasis' i think, who do targetted meditations like grief etc. got to run to a meeting, I'll find them when i get back!
And returned. These are the podcasts i was talking about: http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/listen-to-podcast/
You can also get the podcasts off itunes for your mp3 player. http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/meditation-oasis/id204570355
Specifically:
Emotional ease #7: http://llnw.libsyn.com/p/5/6/a/56a89d1eddc46290/pod7.MP3?s=1344951706&e=1344953506&c_id=1297558&h=5d56e41702c061fa2039f46f16877123
Relaxing into healing #9: http://llnw.libsyn.com/p/b/4/0/b40da32b006af3b9/pod9.MP3?s=1344951838&e=1344953638&c_id=1297560&h=5c2275340837c99c93a86f43bcf2d712
Guided meditation for grief #26 (#20 in itunes list)
I think they've also got a beginners meditation on there, to help you get into the zone as it were
In terms of my new counsellor, I'm unsure...website says they offer short and long term counselling...guess I will know more at my assessment on Friday?
Thank you for the meditation things...I haven't had a chance to get on here until now so will either check them out this evening or tomorrow. I also discussed it today and she gave me a couple of other coping techniques, etc which could be of use when its happening when I'm out at work or with friends, etc.
Feel like a bit of an emotional wreck...and I have to go to a meeting tomorrow that is basically going to tell me where my job is going and timescales...lets hope I've stopped crying by then otherwise tomorrow could be a bit of an embarrassment... :S
As for feeling like an emotional wreck at the moment, that's possibly because you've made a leap this afternoon and have let some of that noted up emotion loose. It's a good thing, I promise.
I wouldn't be so sure...still bursting into tears every few minutes this morning...
This makes sense...Just highly unprofessional when I have to sit through a regional managers meeting today being told about the uncertainess of my job...I think I may pre-warn the Regional Manager running it that I'm not upset about that...!
Feeling bloody awful this morning...as in ill awful, not just emotional awful...
Hanky in the pocket, careful selection of make up, or decide to go without and you will be fine, not necessarily great, but you will be fine.
Edit: Scared of feeling like this...
Can I PM you?? I could do with some "advice"?