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Flashbacks

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
So recently I've been having what I can only describe as flashbacks. It feels like I completely zone out and I'm right back to the night before/morning of my Dad's suicide and I am experiencing how I felt at the time. But I also seem to play out alternative scenarios in my head of what could have happened if something had been different. At first these were controlled...they were thoughts that I started thinking about and could stop...now they aren't...they just hit me as and when and when I "come back to reality" I'll be in tears. More often than not they hit me whilst I'm at work. I guess I would find it really helpful to have some coping techniques on how to prevent them. It's a really recent thing...last week and a half mainly...I have suffered from nightmares previously and still do but they are less often now.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you still seeing a counsellor? It would be worth yelling them.

    Afraid I havent got any great ideas on how to prevent them, but how about always having a decent hanky in your pocket, so if you do end up in tears you're prepared?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya WhiteLillies,

    Have you seen this website: Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS)? I was looking for a resource for a mate and came across it. They have a national helpline and I wondered if it might tide you over whilst you're waiting for Cruse.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I start with my new counsellor this week so will mention it at my assessment thing...

    I gave up waiting for Cruse and I start with someone else this week...:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I start with my new counsellor this week so will mention it at my assessment thing...

    I gave up waiting for Cruse and I start with someone else this week...:)

    Good news :) Keep us posted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yay for a new counsellor - how long will these sessions last?

    I can't say that I've experienced flashbacks in quite the same way that you have. However, I do understand what you mean about the feelings side, and did undergo treatment for that, with my counsellor. I've mentioned it before, I think, EMDR. Some studies have shown that keeping your conscious mind active (by doing something repetitive like following a ball around a screen) allows the unconscious mind to process emotions and put them to rest. In your case, the emotions haven't been processed so they are bursting out uncontrolled.

    I think i've recommended meditation to you before, and I think this is something which could really help you with this. Let me find some podcasts for you, and I'll recommend one. There's a podcast by 'meditation oasis' i think, who do targetted meditations like grief etc. got to run to a meeting, I'll find them when i get back!

    And returned. These are the podcasts i was talking about: http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/listen-to-podcast/

    You can also get the podcasts off itunes for your mp3 player. http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/meditation-oasis/id204570355

    Specifically:

    Emotional ease #7: http://llnw.libsyn.com/p/5/6/a/56a89d1eddc46290/pod7.MP3?s=1344951706&e=1344953506&c_id=1297558&h=5d56e41702c061fa2039f46f16877123

    Relaxing into healing #9: http://llnw.libsyn.com/p/b/4/0/b40da32b006af3b9/pod9.MP3?s=1344951838&e=1344953638&c_id=1297560&h=5c2275340837c99c93a86f43bcf2d712

    Guided meditation for grief #26 (#20 in itunes list)

    I think they've also got a beginners meditation on there, to help you get into the zone as it were :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had my very very last session with my initial counsellor today...I was under the impression it was just a "fill in a form and we'll see your progress" thing...but no...it was still a proper session, although we did do the "fill in a form" thing. In the 9 times I've seen her, this was the first time she ever made me cry...just because she said she would miss me and amongst some other things she said...positive ones I would just like to add....since then I've literally not stopped crying and that was at 2pm!!!! I don't know why I'm being so emotional about it??? Other things have been said today that have made me react the same way but just the fact that she said that really hit me in a weird kind of way...

    In terms of my new counsellor, I'm unsure...website says they offer short and long term counselling...guess I will know more at my assessment on Friday?

    Thank you for the meditation things...I haven't had a chance to get on here until now so will either check them out this evening or tomorrow. I also discussed it today and she gave me a couple of other coping techniques, etc which could be of use when its happening when I'm out at work or with friends, etc.

    Feel like a bit of an emotional wreck...and I have to go to a meeting tomorrow that is basically going to tell me where my job is going and timescales...lets hope I've stopped crying by then otherwise tomorrow could be a bit of an embarrassment... :S
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'll have stopped crying by the morning - fret not on that front.

    As for feeling like an emotional wreck at the moment, that's possibly because you've made a leap this afternoon and have let some of that noted up emotion loose. It's a good thing, I promise.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'll have stopped crying by the morning - fret not on that front.

    I wouldn't be so sure...still bursting into tears every few minutes this morning...
    As for feeling like an emotional wreck at the moment, that's possibly because you've made a leap this afternoon and have let some of that noted up emotion loose. It's a good thing, I promise.

    This makes sense...Just highly unprofessional when I have to sit through a regional managers meeting today being told about the uncertainess of my job...I think I may pre-warn the Regional Manager running it that I'm not upset about that...!

    Feeling bloody awful this morning...as in ill awful, not just emotional awful...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you have a good relationship with the manager running it then that could be a very good call - even if just out of courtesy to her so she's not worried about what she might have just said to upset you.

    Hanky in the pocket, careful selection of make up, or decide to go without and you will be fine, not necessarily great, but you will be fine.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been thinking about you today, I hope everything wasn't too upsetting for you. :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Surely constantly bursting into tears for this length of time is not healthy...It's draining...I feel dreadful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's part of the process. I was "fine" for a long time after my mum died, and then had a massive breakdown and tried to hurt some people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ohh...If I'm honest I'm kind of scared...

    Edit: Scared of feeling like this...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What are you scared of? Yourself? Something you've done? Are you safe?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of being so emotional...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're doing fine treacle.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote: »
    You're doing fine treacle.

    Can I PM you?? I could do with some "advice"?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aye
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