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Enough is enough...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've actually had it. Everyone keeps telling me I'm not a quitter...but actually sometimes so much gets thrown at you that quitting is the only option. I've lost so much and yet still I keep getting more crap thrown at me. I went to an interview today and it was awful. How can anyone be too bloody overqualified for a job. What exactly is the point of working all the hours god sends to get as much experience as you can to be told you are either too good for the job, still not experienced enough or lacking a certain qualification (e.g. a GCSE) yet you have FE/HE qualifications that are worth more.
I am currently in limbo with further counselling, etc and yes I could go back to my GP but I'm already on 2 waiting lists.
If one more person tells me I should count myself lucky because there are people going through much worse than me losing my Dad/because I already have a job or tell me that everything happens for a reason, I will scream. Yes that may be true but right now it doesn't help me and it doesn't make me feel better.
Completely unlike me; I cried all the way home from my interview, all the way to the gym, all the way through my gym class and all the way home. Did it make me feel better? No.
I don't expect something for nothing. I expect to work hard. But why bother when it all gets thrown back in your face. Nothing is good enough. I never seem to be good enough for anyone. I just give up.
I feel like my current job is making me ill. It stresses me out so much that I am constantly exhausted. It's far too pressurised and it doesn't matter how many times I tell the relevant people - still they continue to throw more and more at me and expect more and more. And yes maybe I should count myself lucky that I have a job but I don't consider myself lucky when restructuring means I could face losing my job within my current department and I don't want to move dept when I have all my experience in my current one and it has some relevance to my degree.
Sorry for ranting. I know this is all jumbled but I have the 6 month anniversary of my Dads death next week and this stupid crap with my career that is just getting worse and I've just had it.
:crying:
I am currently in limbo with further counselling, etc and yes I could go back to my GP but I'm already on 2 waiting lists.
If one more person tells me I should count myself lucky because there are people going through much worse than me losing my Dad/because I already have a job or tell me that everything happens for a reason, I will scream. Yes that may be true but right now it doesn't help me and it doesn't make me feel better.
Completely unlike me; I cried all the way home from my interview, all the way to the gym, all the way through my gym class and all the way home. Did it make me feel better? No.
I don't expect something for nothing. I expect to work hard. But why bother when it all gets thrown back in your face. Nothing is good enough. I never seem to be good enough for anyone. I just give up.
I feel like my current job is making me ill. It stresses me out so much that I am constantly exhausted. It's far too pressurised and it doesn't matter how many times I tell the relevant people - still they continue to throw more and more at me and expect more and more. And yes maybe I should count myself lucky that I have a job but I don't consider myself lucky when restructuring means I could face losing my job within my current department and I don't want to move dept when I have all my experience in my current one and it has some relevance to my degree.
Sorry for ranting. I know this is all jumbled but I have the 6 month anniversary of my Dads death next week and this stupid crap with my career that is just getting worse and I've just had it.
:crying: 0
Comments
You are coping remarkably well, and just because your weren't in the Rwandan genocide or a victim of the nazi holocaust doesn't mean you haven't taken an extremely heavy blow.
Take a deep breath, let yourself have a little meltdown, and see if you can't pick yourself up again in a day or two.
:yes:
Had a god awful day at work
When will my life resemble anything normal again?
It does get easier to manage with time. The gaps between the really really hard bits get longer and the normal life bits start to take over rather than being the odd highlights like they are at the moment.
One option with your friends might be to watch a weepy kind of film with them on the sofa. That way you can sob your way through it without them feeling quite so awkward about someone crying and feeling they need to try and stop you.
She's giving me grief about my personal choice not to be in a relationship.
I've confronted her about her judgemental attitude. She said I just didn't like criticism. That's bulls**t based on the fact I'm the first to criticise myself.
I went to the gym and after doing a 1k run, I ended up with chest pains because I'm already ill.
I'm trying to keep going but I feel so vulnerable at the moment and so stressed that my immune system would appear to have given up and I feel horrible.
I feel so low :-(
It must be hard watching her sell your dad things. Is there anything that you particularly want to keep? It might help you deal with her clear out if you've got something to hang onto.
She's also dealing with grief andi suspect you're just into firing line for her anger and frustration at the moment.
On the chest pains front, that doesn't sound much fun. If your immune system is struggling then it's the old basics that need a pick up. Exercise, fruit and veg, and sleep. Maybe the cross trainer might be better option that the treadmill fir the time being!
I eat tons of fruit and I've been sleeping so much - the exercise thing really seems to be a no go area at the moment. Just driving or walking is a massive issue - It's like I'm not really focussing...lost track of how many times I nearly crashed my car just getting to the gym!!! And I keep getting head rush every time I get up and do something. I feel like all my energy has been drained from me! The treadmill wasn't excessive either - It was just a gentle 1k jog that I do as a warm up normally - yet today I felt worse than I do after a spinning session! Maybe my body is asking for a break!?
If you're physically in that kind of state then it might be worth seeing if you can get a GP appointment just to check there's nothing else going on in the background.
Is the head rush when you stand up? Try having a wriggle of your legs and ankles before you stand up - sometimes the head rush can be a slight blood pressure issue which that helps. Doesn't mean don't also look after yourself too, but a tip worth sharing.
What do you mean?? Is it something you've had?? I feel a little better today...hoping it's just a virus and it's wearing off. I might try my normal spinning session this evening...I don't want to give up on exercise. If it doesn't improve - I will see my GP.
I've never done spin, but from what I know of it it's not quite the same as building exercise up after having some kind of virus
I don't mean to suggest it's something I've had, more that it sounds like a bit of a depressive mood. Stress can cause health symptoms in us as well.
Still spin-class is fucking brutal, and will not help you feel better at this stage.
A bath and doughnuts sounds awesome; however, having just lost 8lb in 4 weeks I dont want to undo my hard work so I have arranged to meet a friend at the gym who can keep an eye on me overdoing it and also it means I won't be as focused so should be a gentle session...!
If I'm honest - I've been overly stressed and exhausted so I think that had an effect on my immune system...hopefully I'm over the worse but will make sure I am being "kind to myself" and looking after myself...
Good call
As you already know, I finished counselling with the uni and then had an assessment at somewhere new...
Now...when I went to counselling the first time - I had reached a "crisis point"...I really didnt know how to cope and things were ridiculously bad. Since finishing with the counsellor at uni...I don't feel like the old me and I don't feel naturally "content"; however, I wouldn't say I'm at crisis point/rock-bottom either (I guess I'm somewhere in the middle!?) and I don't know what I want from further counselling...therefore; is it worth going?
I know to some extent, there are probably still some issues that need resovling; however, something makes me really uncomfortable about this new counsellor...really uncomfortable. I can't put my finger on it but I'm not happy with her or the set-up.
Part of me questions whether its because I want to continue with my previous one even though I know I can't...although I can if I wait until Sept...but the other part of me says, it was hard having that last session with her the first time, why go through it all over again?
Having not had counselling before, I may be mistaken but I got the impression it was important to find someone who you "click" with...and as much as I used to rant about how she had annoyed me...I think that was more of a genuine dislike to the process/how I felt about my behaviour/emotions and not how I felt about her.
Soo...do I continue with this new one, despite my gut feeling that tells me its more trouble than its worth? Do I return to the uni one in Sept? Do I find an alternative altogether? Or do I just give up with the whole thing until I work out exactly what it is I hope to gain from it?
At the moment, I am keen not to continue with it at this current point in time...but I guess some advice from the people that have "been there and done that" would really help??
You said that the person you had spoken to at University was someone you liked, but that's not unusual too, in fact I think it helps if they're personable, it can makes it easier. Maybe you're afraid that the person replacing them won't understand you? Maybe because of this person, it's unsettled you because you're used to speaking to someone you feel comfortable with?
If after another session or two you're still finding it really unhelpful, there is nothing wrong with that and perhaps another course of action is best.
(My computer battery is about to die, so you don't get the long version this time)
I don't want to go back to this new counsellor...I
want to go back to the uni one and even if I don't, I don't want to go back to this new one. I have serious doubts about her. I don't feel comfortable being so vulnerable around her.
Appt doesn't run within allocation - it was at least an hour and 20 mins
She makes me feel like she's quite manipulative
She wanted to know a lot about my history which I felt was irrelevant - past relationships, school life, etc
My first counsellor was very much - no time scales to grief -this one told me 2 years was considered normal which instantly made me question what if I'm not living with this in 2 years?
She came across as "I'm the professional, you know nothing" whereas my first counsellor was much more on an equal footing...even told me I was one of the most self-aware students she had helped.
I didn't like the location either - was a house converted into rooms...I felt trapped...Almost scared of the place if I'm honest, whereas uni was offices, much more relaxed, etc - the whole environment was different - I felt safe...
I don't feel safe at this new place...