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I feel so stupid
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
For those that don't know, I've been forming a friendship with a girl and I want to take it further but I took a risk tonight and I think it's gone t**s up. She posted something on Facebook asking anyone to meet up for a picnic, and I messaged her a couple of hours asking her so with a little joke suggesting to meet up. And she hasn't replied...
I think this could be it...Game Over. And yeah, she's been on Facebook since. I'm being optimistic that she could reply but I doubt, it knowing my luck.
I'm not ready to move on yet but I feel I may have to. I'm so upset right now and feel like I've f****d up the only chance I have of experiencing a relationship. Confidence at an all-time low.
Sorry but feel this is the only place at the moment I could share this. Not enjoying being me...
Oh btw, is there any way of changing my forum username?
:banghead: 
I think this could be it...Game Over. And yeah, she's been on Facebook since. I'm being optimistic that she could reply but I doubt, it knowing my luck.
I'm not ready to move on yet but I feel I may have to. I'm so upset right now and feel like I've f****d up the only chance I have of experiencing a relationship. Confidence at an all-time low.
Sorry but feel this is the only place at the moment I could share this. Not enjoying being me...
Oh btw, is there any way of changing my forum username?
:banghead: 0
Comments
Just wanted to pop in quickly.. I've moved your thread into the relationships forum as it fits there best.
Sorry to hear you're not feeling too hopeful right now, it can be scary to put yourself out there and tough when you don't get the response you were hoping for.
Do you think you could continue to build a friendship with this girl or do you feel like it's all or nothing? Try not to be too hard on yourself..
I'm really pleased you've posted tonight, no apologies needed, did it help to get things off your chest a bit?
If you PM me what you'd like to change ur username too I can do that for you
Take care and let us know how you're doing *hugs*
She did end up replying back early hours in the morning so she probably was busy. I think this will be a long hard fight to be honest, but I feel I can only keep on trying and shouldn't give up.
I'll send you a PM in a bit about my username.
Again, thanks for your help so late into the night.
Last night, I was nicely advised by YSH on Chat to ask this girl to meet for a movie, and I am now getting tired of these mind-games I'm assuming she's playing on me now. By the way, YSH that was a great idea because I really needed this girl to answer and was the perfect way to meet up with her again but I have a feeling that she doesn't even want it. She's not been online (on Facebook) all evening, and when she is, she has higher priorities like commenting on stati (plural of status) of closer friends.
I think it's time for me to sit back and think, is there any point in wasting more time on this girl who is clearly not putting in any effort on this friendship anymore? Of course, I'm in love with this girl and she means a lot to me, but I have a feeling something has happened to change her mind. I'm not sure if this is on my end or hers, but either way it's affected it.
It's made me think of myself as a person, and got me thinking obviously negative thoughts but with a hint of optimism. But what is the next step? If she somehow replies then great, but I highly doubt it very much. Maybe I was too annoying, or too unattractive for her, or too nervous. But these are all factors that I'm taking into consideration. Online dating is hell, and I really don't have the confidence in going out and meeting new people, although there is a meet up I'm supposed to go to on Monday, but it's more of a networking one. Maybe talking to my family may help matters. There is improvement needed on my end, but it's a case on where to go.
I apologise but I'm kind of using this as a mini-diary, putting down all my thoughts on this situation. My search for love may have to continue elsewhere but where that starts, only I can determine.
If any of that makes sense, then I must've done something right.
Just wanted to highlight that both of these things sound really positive. Just as a minor point, having activity to tell your friend about inbetween times is bound to highlight your attractiveness.
It might also help you to get some perspective on the whole situation - are you able to chart your friendship including your contact with her, how she's responded and what's happened next? Can you seen any trends appearing or are there any times where you feel you worry if she hasn't got in touch after a certain period of time... I'm just wondering if it might help to look at the situation objectively to work out how things have gone so far and how that can help you to work out what's the best thing to do next in terms of maybe having a chat with her about your feelings or something else...
Try not to dwell on negative perceptions and if you can't help it, then try to think for yourself - what is it that you do that you think others would find annoying or nervous? Is there any good reason why you think this could be the case?
Most of all, if talking about this helps you, then we're always here to listen
I am happy to see this forum as an outlet but more importantly for good selves like you to assist me with any problems.
Again, thank you.
I think it's reassuring that she's continuing to meet with you, she obviously values your friendship. I hope you both enjoyed yourselves tonight, whatever you did. Did you have an opportunity to speak to her about what you felt for her? Do you know what she thinks of your friendship, or if she wants it to become a relationship too?
:yes: Agreed.
Thank you for replying, last night was really good, we went to see a film. Before and after we spoke non-stop and I made her laugh a few time. I thought I came across as interesting with jokes and great questions, our conversations flow. She is positive and has mentioned next time a few times, like we will meet again.
I didn't have the confidence to let my true feelings out to her, but did compliment her on her appearance which is a small thing. To be honest, I really don't know what she thinks about me. My friend mentioned that she may want me to make the first move, but I'm really not sure.
I did find out earlier though that she spent time today with somebody else in a similar friendship to ours, but I'm really not sure what is happening or what I really need to do. I saw a status which had them joking about him calling her his wife and jokingly insulting her with her replying for divorce, but not sure if they're are in the progress of a relationship or not. It's something I'm not sure about. But I guess I just need to concentrate on our friendship/relationship, but also preparing for the instance that if she does end up going out with somebody else. Will need to move on but also seek help from family on how to attract other girls because I have low self esteem and am not attractive/trendy.