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im scared of getting hurt

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ever since i split up with my ex last year ive been unable to get into a relationship with anyone else. the reason for this is because im scared of getting hurt!! my ex didnt really do anything to hurt me, it was just us splitting up that hurt me, but i was the one who ended it.

now theres this guy, who ive liked since before me and my ex split! we got together 2 weeks after me and my ex split, but cos i wasnt over my ex it didnt work!!
i still really like this guy, and weve talked about trying again now that im over my ex, the only thing is im scared of getting into a relationship, even though i really like him, cos i dont wanna get hurt!:(

how can i get over this fear, and stop myself getting hurt should me and this new guy split up???

thanx in advance for your replies, i hope this all makes sense!!!:confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how can i get over this fear, and stop myself getting hurt should me and this new guy split up???

    Just stop thinking about the past and try to move on, you say that it was the break up with your ex that hurt you, so you dont want to go breaking up with this lad as well now. You shouldnt break up with him just because your scared of getting hurt else you'll be feeling like this everytime someone new comes along. I dont know how to suggest to get over the fear, just be strong I suppose and try and let it work out. You need to get over your ex and move on with your life.

    Good luck :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont want me and this guy to split up, but im scared that if he ends it ill never get over it!! it took me a year to get over my ex, and i cant go through that again!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know it can be really hard to move on from things like this, but angelbabe is right, you shouldn't stop seeing this guy for fear of being hurt again. Otherwise it'll be all the more difficult to stop feeling like this, and every relationship in the future will have the same insecure feelings, and it sucks.

    That's what life and relationships is all about, sometimes we're ecstatically happy, other times we're really low and depressed about things. Try and take a risk. You really shouldn't miss out on what could be a great relationship, just on the off chance that you'll be hurt again. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

    Good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by dizzy blonde babe
    i dont want me and this guy to split up, but im scared that if he ends it ill never get over it!! it took me a year to get over my ex, and i cant go through that again!

    If you keep feeling this insecure then its just going to make it worse. Just try and be happy with the relationship and there shouldnt be any reason for this guy to split up with you, keep feeling this insecure and you could scare him off. You need to realise that this guy is not your ex, he's a completely different guy and its not fair to dwell on the past so much. Your bound to feel like this after having such a hard time after splitting with your ex, but just move on and get on with it, you can learn from your past mistakes!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Calm down, and forget about it!!

    Hey,

    to be honest, I think the biggest thing you are going about in the wrong way, is, that you are just thinking about it far too much. Relationships either work or they don't, at this age(i haven't checked your profile, but am gussing you are 18 or thereabouts) most relationships don't work out. If you are together with him, then that is great!!! I'm seriously happy for you, but just don't go and screw it all up by thinking about it. Afterall, I can guarantee that you will feel ten times worse later on when you realise that, "hey maybe I should've just let things go as they are."

    So my advice for you (if you can't pick it out of above, don't worry I talk crap a lot) you should just have fun, and don't worry about whether or not it will break up, cos tbh it prolly will, worry (if about anything) about how much fun you have with him. cos that is what really counts.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Our situations are very different but I started a thread kind of like this a couple of weeks ago.

    My thread *sighs*

    Don't know if that'll help or not.

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how it can be difficult after a relationship to go to another. Youre first partner had many annoying habits and may have spent time doing certain things that may alter your trust. If you try slowly to put behind whatever hurt you have if you try to get to know your new boyfriend you will see in time that he is nopt the same. you could try talking to him and explaining what has happened and why you feel so let down and that you are scared that he may do it then he will understand that all you need is a little time to sort yourself out. it is easy for people to say forget the past im a sort of person that dwells on the past and looks forward to the future often tripping in the present. Only you can change this and if your new partner loves you he will understand and help you to work on things.

    Goodluck and dont worry to much and always remember if you need a chat PM me :)

    *DEVIL*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx to everyone who has replied!!! ive decided that im just gonna see how things go with this guy, im gonna talk to him and explain how i feel, but im just gonna try and take things slowly, and not rush in to soon!!!:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good on ya, and good luck with this guy...Hope you have a good time...

    Just try and get on with it, and not think about what you are doing too much...

    GOOD LICK...ahem...freudian slip...LUCK!!! :):):D
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