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Struggling with girls

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am an outgoing person, have a really good social life with my friends and work and have a good family and home. However,

I'm 21 years old and ive only ever had 1 serious relationship when i was 18 that lasted 6 months. It really messed my head up because after we'd broke up i found out she had slept with 1 of my 'friends', and had been texting another one of my friends and had arranged to meet him. Since these incidents i havent had another girlfriend, without blowing my own trumpet ive had ample opportunities with girls and got close to some but never been able to ask them out and its just fizzed away and lost the opportunity. I talk to girls and can get close to them but for some reason i get really scared at the thought of committing to a relationship or even getting intimate with a girl because im scared ill fall for them and i keep thinking of my old relationship.

As well as this, social networking plays a big part in this. If im talking to a girl, if i see any of my friends adding her/attempting to talk to her i get really annoyed and frustrated.. Even if she doesnt reply im scared she will start talking to them and like them. I think this may be down to the first relationship or is it just me being a paranoid/jealous idiot :( I really dont know but its affecting my love life and im never going to get anywhere living like this. Every trip to facebook turns into me getting angry and really nervous even logging on, i hate it. I just dont know what to do :(

Hope someone can advise me.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The most standard cookie-cutter response will be: Don't focus on it so much. Focus on yourself. Study hard, work hard, do things that fulfill you and it will come by itself. That's what people kept telling me for several years and I was getting fed up. In the end (this march), I said fuck it, I am gonna be rich and famous and took a head dive into my studies. Kind of like disregard bitches, acquire degree.

    What do you know, one month later, on the day I passed a ridiculously huge exam I've been studying for a month, I am on the top of my game and I am confident like a motherfucker. And since that evening I have a girlfriend (kind of. We are not together, but a bit more like fuck buddies. So that suits me well. I can still study hard and have the comfort of a girl on the back of my head and the tip of my wee-wee).

    I wouldn't be telling you this, if it wasn't true for me. The best way to stop the suffering is by cutting out the want. Irony does the rest.
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