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What if he was underage?!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone

Firstly, as you can tell from previous posts, I suffer with OCD.

Right now it involves wrongs my brain is telling me I did.

When I was 21 I was a bit naughty and met up with someone and spent time in a hotel room. I don't remember much more....it was 9 years ago.
But now I'm panicking that he may have been underage?! I never forced him to do anything but I just remember the convo being a bit 'simple' or childish.

Surely as a fully grown 21 year old I'd have been shocked if I was greeted by a underage kid?! Most my boyfriends etc were always at least 2 years older than me so I doubt I'd have met up with someone underage intentionally.

Please tell me what you think. I'm horrified.


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should probably relax. If you can't really remember what you did, then you should probably not worry about whether he was underage or not. Frankly a lot of guys between 16 and 21 can be a bit childish if they know they're guaranteed a hook up, or even not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I imagine you'd remember if you'd fucked a fourteen-year-old.
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    *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Hey FallenAngel29 :wave:

    From what you've written, it sounds like you're seeking reassurance that this boy wasn't underage. I can't guarentee that he wasn't. But, in terms of maturity, both physically and mentally, it's pretty easy to tell if a boy is under 16 - especially as you were 21 at the time. Even in the very tiny chance that he was - as you said - you would never of intentionally done something, so there's not much use beating yourself up about it. It's in the past, a very distant past, and no amount of fretting can undo it.

    You mention that you have OCD, and I can see from your posting history that this isn't the first time you've perhaps over-ruminated on unhelpful thoughts about the past. Can I ask if you've seeked any help for these thought habits? From your GP? Or anyone else? They may be able to refer you for some counselling or Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

    In the meantime, there a few things you can do to help yourself. A lot of therapy for anxious behaviour and obsessive thoughts centre around trying to stay in the present moment. And about learning to identify the 'negative' or 'unhelpful' thoughts you have, acknowledging them, and then returning to the present moment rather than indulging them and going into thought-spiral. Here at TheSite, we're not psychologists, but could I suggest perhaps finding something you can do to keep busy when you have thoughts like this? Anything to keep your brain busy? A good book? Knitting? Putting on a trashy but rivating DVD? And yoga, especially, can really help train your mind to stay on the present. Maybe look for a local class that focuses on mindfulness and meditation?

    Do let us know how you get on, and feel free to keep posting whenever you need to. There's always someone here. *hug*

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why do UK people always treat people who are not yet 18 as mentally unstable, drooling mouthbreathers? I mean I hope you could tell he was not 13, but at least close to being adult. Believe me, he didn't mind, even if he was underage and he was bragging about it to his mates. Chill out. Even if he was underage, nobody came to harm and nobody gives a shit.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't worry
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