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Colleague asking for lifts to work

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So since i've moved to a different location for work, one of the other girls is trying to come over as well (also due to the new manager there).

She has just texted me asking that if, hypothetically, she moved over as well, would I be able to give her lifts in.

Now, this is going to make me sound like a bitch but i really dont want to. I love the drive in and out of work on my own to just chill out, and i dont really the need extra responsibility to get her to work as well. Thing is, I drive right past her road to get there and there isnt a direct bus as the shop is in a retail park, so she would be screwed really.

I feel bad but i dont know what to say to her

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, would she have the same shifts as you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well she said IF we have the same shifts but i can see her asking our boss if we can have the same shifts so we ccan come and go together
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are well within your rights to say no. I like being alone on the trip to work/anywhere myself.

    But you have no valid excuse to other than not wanting to so if you do decide to say no, don't bullshit her....

    I guess it all depends whether you are bothered about upsetting her or not....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am a little bit, i do genuinely feel bad about upsetting her but it doesnt outweigh me not wanting to take her
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This sounds like something I'd want to say no too aswell. Just tell her that it puts too much pressure on you. If she's late being picked up, it makes you both late, since she can't get into work directly, she solely relies on you which isn't that fair. Plus seeing somebody that much, every morning, during work, then in the evening can either build a good relationship or destroy one when you have little space.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im glad everyones agreeing with me here, I was preparing to be blasted for being a selfish bitch.

    Apparently our boss is pretty adamant on not letting her transfer over, but you never know. Think i'll just have to be honest and say that its too much responsibility and pressure on me. What if im off ill or late then she cant get it in at all. Also i wont be able to make plans for after work because i have to drop her home first.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not selfish at all. I know mum was in a similar situation and she said it was unfair - it meant she had to leave earlier and would get home later.

    I know this isn't the point; but would she offer you money if you did give her lifts? And what would happen if you had different shifts? I go to a club twice a week and sometimes ask someone for a lift home. Because I don't know if either person will be there, I always have an alternative form of transport if I need to. One always says "I will drop you home" and the other will just drop me into town where my bus stop is - both work fine for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I would ask for petrol money anyway and you're right, i dont think she would have any other option apart from me, so if as you say we have different shifts or something happens to me or my car, then she would be screwed as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea I think you're within your rights there. The problem is not with giving a lift every now and again, it that you suddenly become depended upon. It's different say if you live up the road from someone and decide that you will alternate days carpooling to save on petrol, where either one of you can opt out whenever you like because you have your own car - as soon as you're into this arrangement with her you have no get out. It's unfortunate for her, but its not your problem! x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everyone, Ive texted her and said its not really something I would like to get into but havent heard back yet. I tried to make it sound as nice as possible as well!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Im glad everyones agreeing with me here, I was preparing to be blasted for being a selfish bitch.

    There is an element of that, but it's understandable.

    I've been in that position and it does put pressure on, especially when it comes to annual leave or illness. Just an extra hassle that you can avoid, so why not avoid it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you'd be selfish to leave her standing by the side of the road if you go past her house, but I don't think she can or should assume that you will always be able to give her a lift. That is unfair, unless there is a certain amount of quid pro quo, i.e. you drive one week, she drives the next.

    When I worked at a call centre out in the sticks I was happy to pick people up and give them a lift, but only ever on the understanding that i was doing them a favour and they couldn't and shouldn't rely on me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well this is the thing, she cant drive but is taking lessons, and like i said she would need to get 2 buses.

    Im all for giving people lifts but she wouldnt be able to return the favour and take me to work, and if anything happened she would be stuck at home and it would be my fault, not hers, then the rest of the team would be let down because they'd be short two people. Its bad enough when one person is late. I think it would quickly escalate into her soley relying on me to be her chauffeur and i wouldnt be able to get out of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If the only way she can get to work (without it being ridiculous) is for you to take her then she shouldn't be asking to transfer there. I think it's pretty selfish on her part, actually, because it puts a lot of pressure on you because, as you say, if you're both late it becomes your fault. And what happens when you take a sick day or a holiday?

    I think you should be straight with her and tell her that you don't want to. If she still wants to transfer then she can take the two buses or work out some kind of compromise with you instead of - from what it seems to me - assuming that you'll ferry her to/from.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have told her straight that i dont want the extra resonsibility of it all, and she hasn't replied to me. I actually know that my manager is pretty set on not wanting to let her transfer to us but thats a different story.

    You;re right though Franki, i would only take a job if i knew i could get there without soley relying on one person to get me there (assuming there was no public transport)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell her you had to give the car back to your twin sister as it belongs to her. She lives near where you live (actually asks to park her car outside your house) and works near where you work, but she's such a bitch she won't give you a lift to work so you get a lift on the back of a motorbike (or other transport that can only have 2 people on it ).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you care about the planet, you'll give her a lift. ;)
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