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Self harm help!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well I've self harmed for the last 4 months and had some suicidal thoughts too, mainly because of really low confidence and self hatred.
My found out a couple weeks ago when she spotted the cuts. She made me promise not to do it again and she checks my arms and legs regularly otherwise I would probably still be doing it. I'm having counciling now but it really isn't helping and I can't stop thinking about cutting myself even though I know it's wrong. I've tried loads of things to help me stop but nothing seems to help.
Also I told my 2 friends because I think they had already guessed from the cuts and at first they were quite supportive but now they think because my mum knows, everything's fine again but it isn't. They have started leaving me out like they did before and because I'm quite shy I just feel like their tag along. I want to tell them stuff about how I'm feeling but I know they will just talk about whatever I told them behind my back. What should I do? I just want someone I can talk to!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kiz27 wrote: »
    Well I've self harmed for the last 4 months and had some suicidal thoughts too, mainly because of really low confidence and self hatred.
    My found out a couple weeks ago when she spotted the cuts. She made me promise not to do it again and she checks my arms and legs regularly otherwise I would probably still be doing it. I'm having counciling now but it really isn't helping and I can't stop thinking about cutting myself even though I know it's wrong. I've tried loads of things to help me stop but nothing seems to help.
    Also I told my 2 friends because I think they had already guessed from the cuts and at first they were quite supportive but now they think because my mum knows, everything's fine again but it isn't. They have started leaving me out like they did before and because I'm quite shy I just feel like their tag along. I want to tell them stuff about how I'm feeling but I know they will just talk about whatever I told them behind my back. What should I do? I just want someone I can talk to!

    Hey Kiz27 welcome to TheSite!

    You mentioned about self-harming and having suicidal thoughts- do you know whats lead up to this? Have you got any worries or stress to deal with?

    It's good that you felt able to talk to people about it though maybe it's worth seeking some professional help such as your GP?
    Sometimes those who have not experienced mental health problems don't know what to say to a person which could explain why your friends are acting differently towards you.

    You shouldn't feel alone with all of these feelings. If you are not ready to see your GP, maybe get intouch with the Samaritans? They'll be able to give you the time and space to go through everything....you'll find all the contact details here:

    http://www.samaritans.org/

    Also TheSite has these pages that might be worth a read:

    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm

    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/visitingyourdoctor

    I hope this is of use. We're here if you need us!

    BB x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. It's such a horrible feeling when you have low confidence and hate yourself. Do you self harm to get away from the feelings or is it directly related to hating yourself? A first step to feeling better about yourself can be to ask other people what good things they see in you and just try to accept them, say thanks. You might not believe them but by accepting them you're allowing yourself the chance that there are things about you that you could come to like. Is there anything behind your low confidence and self hatred? Where did it come from?

    How long have you been having counselling, and what do you want to achieve from it? It can take a while for counselling to start making a difference so it's worth sticking to it. If you set yourself clear goals about what you'd like from counselling and what you need to talk through then it might be easier for you to see any progress you're making. Counselling is primarily about talking, so if you think you need something more structured then it would be a good idea to talk to your GP who might be able to refer you to a different kind of therapy.

    It's good that you've been able to stop self harming because your Mum is checking but I know that won't be helping with what makes you think about self harming in the first place. Do you feel able to talk to your Mum about things?

    I can relate to your situation with your friends, it's hard being a shy person. Is there one friend who you are closer to than the others? There are lots of people you can talk to if you feel you can't confide in your friends. We are here for you and as brunettebarbie said you could try a helpline like the Samaritans. You can call them, email them, text them, write to them, or visit them if they are in your area.

    I hope that things get better for you soon. Take care.
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