Home› Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Advice Please?

2»

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've tried writing this several times and everytime I do, I delete it and try to rewrite it because it sounds stupid...but I need to say it to someone because it's really getting to me...
    Having a few difficulties at work...
    The short story is that someone was off sick for a period of time yet was posting about parties she was hosting on the Internet...other colleagues became aware of it and reported it to my manager...the colleague that was off sick now thinks it was me that reported her and that my manager just wants to get rid of her which isn't the case...
    The reason this is stressing me out so much is that a few years back me and some friends were harrassed through social networking sites and it reached a point where we never felt safe...I feel the same now because of how they have reacted towards me both online and at work...I know that it's heightened because of everything else that has happened and that in normal circumstances I would be able to deal with the situation but I can't at the moment and it's causing more stress...
    Why do things go from bad to worse before they get better?? I'm so tired of trying to stay strong...I want my old life back...I'm not strong enough to handle all of this...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She violated the terms of employment and has brought any punishment upon herself. I know it's hard to get blamed for something you didn't do though. This is an added stress at a time you don't need it, and it obviously builds on a previous trauma, which only exacerbates things.

    What kind of job do you do? Where do you work? It would help to know so we can give you advice on how to defuse and deal with this situation.

    I also saw what you wrote in the "need a hug thread". It's not your fault. You didn't cause it. You couldn't have stopped it. Go and demand a hug from a friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I work in the HR department of a retailer and because of the working relationship I have with my manager she thinks we both have it in for her...the colleague in question works on the shop floor...She is seeking legal advice and her family are involved...it's like past events all over again...It sounds so stupid but I know how out of hand it got last time.

    It would be easier if it had been me...my family don't need me but we needed my dad...he kept us together...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's a common reaction, the desire to exchange your own life with that of your deceased loved one. They are always worth more, better for others, more deserving of life. It is good for you to recognise this feeling in yourself, but try not to dwell on it.

    I've just picked up a bit of rock that's on my desk. There's the outline of a tiny leaf that was crushed in the dirt an amount of time that I can't understand ago. The fragile outline of a leaf is preserved in a fossil I picked up on a walk and left on my desk. If something so small, so insignificant, can leave an indelible imprint 10s of millions of years later. Then the imprint that your dad has left on you and your family will last as well. You need to become the rock, it will take time, and pressure, but you'll be alright.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish I was that rock now :-( every minor thing is a constant reminder and one that hurts...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It will be, but it gets better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Now my mum is getting rid of my cat who I've had for 15 years on the basis that she's a reminder of my dad...not that she'll openly admit that...me next then because I'm too much of a reminder? Fuck her, fuck life, fuck everything :-(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, you need to talk to her about the cat. You need to ask her what's changed to mean you can't keep your cat. She need to either admit it's about your dad, and confront that, or give you some fucking good reasons for getting rid of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When my dad first died, she commented on how she was a reminder. Then she complained that she can't afford to keep her so I told her I would pay the cost...she then didn't like that so told me she wouldn't do anything for her and she was entirely my responsibility...when I retaliated and told her to take her to a rescue centre because I couldn't handle the arguing she told me she wouldn't do it because she doesn't want it on her conscience...but she still wants to get rid of her...but I'm not getting rid of her when I don't want to...I've spent the last 9 weeks trying to be strong for her and everyone else and they haven't had to concern themselves with how I feel because I've hidden it but things are just going from bad to worse and I've had it...I'm sick of being a constant disappointment to her...I can empathise with my dad for what he did when she makes you feel this crap
Sign In or Register to comment.