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I think I have finally accepted this.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am gay.
There, I said it. That one thing, that thing I have struggled my hole life. I think I finally came to a conclusion, I am gay.
I mean, it's me, it suits me. I mean, I know for a fact that I am attracted to guys. A lot of people try to tell me that it is a personality flaw and to that people will hate me, but you know what, I'll live! I mean you can't possibly please every one, now can you?
As of right now, I do have a Girlfriend. But not in the traditional sense. She is dealing with the same thing that I am dealing with, but in the way that she thinks she is a Lesbian. So to avoid all that negative attention that comes with both titles, we are telling everyone that we are dating so people will just mind their own business.
I think as of right now, I would never be able to tell my family of what I am going through. I mean, if you have read my other posts; then you would know what my sister went through when she came out to the family. Encase you haven't I'll tell you in the next paragraph, but if you have skip over it and I'll pick up where I left off.
When my sister came out to the family about a year ago, they poked and picked at her a lot. she could not even come out of her room whit out someone poking fun of her, in not so nice ways. After that my sister was never really the same; I mean I was 13 at the time and she was 16. I know now that the things she went through were not okay and the way my family treated her; the way EVERYONE treated her. I am so surprised she did not commit suicide like everyone else thought and said she would. They called her an abomination. Everyone did.
Knowing everything that she went through with the family actually scares the shit out of me, I mean I never had a really good life anyway. Last time i was up at my Mom's (Live at my Dad's) she came at me, I mean she just lost it on me. Why? Because I wen't on the computer to work on things for my job and she was watching a show on the internet and she just lost it!
After that things once again have not been right, I went there not 3 hours ago and she threatened to call the cops on me if I did not leave for trespassing, so I left and if I did not find my friend I would be sleeping on the street again.
Well, it is okay. I mean, when I get older it will get better and I just have to know that I would never treat my adopted kids like I was treated/raised.
Anyway, let me know what you think. Ask me anything and I will answer.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Randy
There, I said it. That one thing, that thing I have struggled my hole life. I think I finally came to a conclusion, I am gay.
I mean, it's me, it suits me. I mean, I know for a fact that I am attracted to guys. A lot of people try to tell me that it is a personality flaw and to that people will hate me, but you know what, I'll live! I mean you can't possibly please every one, now can you?
As of right now, I do have a Girlfriend. But not in the traditional sense. She is dealing with the same thing that I am dealing with, but in the way that she thinks she is a Lesbian. So to avoid all that negative attention that comes with both titles, we are telling everyone that we are dating so people will just mind their own business.
I think as of right now, I would never be able to tell my family of what I am going through. I mean, if you have read my other posts; then you would know what my sister went through when she came out to the family. Encase you haven't I'll tell you in the next paragraph, but if you have skip over it and I'll pick up where I left off.
When my sister came out to the family about a year ago, they poked and picked at her a lot. she could not even come out of her room whit out someone poking fun of her, in not so nice ways. After that my sister was never really the same; I mean I was 13 at the time and she was 16. I know now that the things she went through were not okay and the way my family treated her; the way EVERYONE treated her. I am so surprised she did not commit suicide like everyone else thought and said she would. They called her an abomination. Everyone did.
Knowing everything that she went through with the family actually scares the shit out of me, I mean I never had a really good life anyway. Last time i was up at my Mom's (Live at my Dad's) she came at me, I mean she just lost it on me. Why? Because I wen't on the computer to work on things for my job and she was watching a show on the internet and she just lost it!
After that things once again have not been right, I went there not 3 hours ago and she threatened to call the cops on me if I did not leave for trespassing, so I left and if I did not find my friend I would be sleeping on the street again.
Well, it is okay. I mean, when I get older it will get better and I just have to know that I would never treat my adopted kids like I was treated/raised.
Anyway, let me know what you think. Ask me anything and I will answer.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Randy
0
Comments
When you wake up tomorrow, the sun will rise just the same, people will suck all the same, and nothing will have really changed at all.
I hope this gives you a lot of confidence to go after what you want in life, whether or not you tell your family (thats up to you), there's nothing wrong with being yourself and you don't have to pretend you're someone else. It won't cause the moon to fall from the sky
Good luck :thumb:
You say you have struggled with this your whole life so it's brilliant news that you've accepted this about yourself. It must've taken a lot of soulsearching - and guts - but it sounds like you're happy, so here at TheSite we're happy too.
You mention you don't want to tell your parents, and it does sound like your situation/relationship is quite volatile and complex, but if you fancy breaking the good news to anyone else, this article about Coming Out might be of use.
Another huge congrats. Feel free to keep posting whenever you feel the need and/or if more drama arises with your parents and you want any advice and support.
*hug*
Holly
My brother told me about it before anyone else when he was 15 and I had left to join the Army. I tried to be supportive by letting him know that it didn't make any difference to me what other people do in their bedrooms, but I did caution him to carefully judge who he shared that information with because not everyone felt as I do. He didn't listen, and got very open about it at his high school. He was beaten up a few times and dropped out of school over it. Today, he has graduated college and has a very open lifestyle that displays his pride at being part of the LGBT community.
My brother-in-law told his family long before I knew any of them. My husband's family is quite traditional, and although they all love him and he takes part in family events regularly, it's almost a taboo subject. He talks to me about it, but only because I asked him why he never brings anyone with him to family gatherings. He explained that his family is very uncomfortable with his homosexuality, but he knows they love him and such. He takes trips with his love interests, but is very, very discreet. I was excited when he confided in me about someone he met, because I know he doesn't really have many people to talk to about his love life. It seems to me that he feels shame about himself, which saddens me. He shouldn't have to worry about what others think, but because of his career and his family's values, he does. But he also is comfortable with his lifestyle and has made things work in the way he wants them to for the most part.
Both of these men have found ways to be comfortable in their lives, and I know you will too.