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what to do???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
all my best friends get loads of interest from guys, but i dont, and if i do, they're all ass holes, im getting a bit jealous, of my friends, i dont know what to do to be like them?!
they're all amazing, but whenever they get chatting to guys it reminds me i dont have one, what should i do, i guess theres not much i can do.......

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How many of these guys that they chat to, just put on a nice act till they have got the girl? Plus if your friends are chatting to nice guys all the time, how come nothing comes of it, are the guys secretly dicks?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    chat with guys.
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    *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Hi ginger101

    It sounds like you're having a bit of a crisis of confidence and maybe need to boost your self-esteem a little.

    You say "I don't know what to do to be more like my friends" - but perhaps you should focus more on liking yourself, rather than trying to be like someone else? I'm sure you're a brilliant person with a lot of offer :) When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, it really is confidence more than anything else that can make people attractive. So have you considered the fact that maybe your friends aren't prettier/funnier/sexier than you - but rather they're more happy in themselves and guys are attracted to their confidence? And picking up on your lack of it?

    Of course it's tricky to build self-esteem overnight but, instead of focusing on the negative, why not try focusing on what you like about yourself. It sounds a bit cheesey-American self-help book, but you could try writing a list of all the things you like about yourself. Then, whenever you get a moment of "I wish I could be more like them" or "no boys like me", replace that thought with something from the list.

    Plus, learning to talk to the opposite sex takes practise. So, as others have said, it might be good to just get out there and start chatting. This article about Pulling with confidence is a bit silly but there is some good advice in there. Just make time to work on the relationship with yourself too - that's the most important one.

    Feel free to let us know how you get on.

    Hugs

    Holly
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you so much guys, this has helped a lot :)

    Take care :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im in a similar position. Whenever i go out with my friend i dont get nearly as much attention as she does. But then you have to ask yourself, what are your friends doing/wearing, how are they acting etc? For instance, i wear slightly revealing but still classy clothes when we go out so do you think i get as much attention as my friend in the backless dress and heels? Umm no. But then again, do i really want smelly drunk chavs groping me? No thank you.

    Also, are any of your friends in nice, loving relationships with these guys or do they too turn out to be assholes? It sounds mean but if i find myself feeling insecure next to my friend i remind myself that even though we're both single, i know she has as much trouble with guys as i have, and i get enough attention from guys anyway.

    I think if you really think about it, you'll find you're not any worse off than they are
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you lexi99 :) its nice to know im not the only one out there, in this situation. :D
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