Lazy mates who dont want to do anything other then drinking....

Former Member

Does anyone else have a group of mates like this? There are 5 of us back here where I live, we are all close mates and we all know each other from primary school days. They are a great bunch of lads but recently... well, okay I lie, over the last year or so I've just become abit frustrated at their lack of wanting to do anything else that doesn't involve going out drinking.

We all work full time and don't get me wrong, I love a big drinking session at the weekend with them but thats all they want to do. I'd love to just go to the cinema during the week sometime or just go somewhere different that doesnt involve boozing!

I don't really have another group of mates outside of them which might be the issue but then I'm struggling to see how I'd meet new people. I work about an hour away from home so I don't really socialise with the work crew. I dont have a girlfriend, which would be nice at this moment in time but well, thats for another thread ha.

Its just abit frustrating really, I was looking at going to New York sometime this year just to see the place as I've always wanted to go. I mentioned it to them but they were like "ahh cant be arsed, we should go to amsterdam or prague", which no doubt would turn into a 2 day binge. Though, to be honest I dunno if they would be the right group to go to New York, I know what they're like. At weekends and on their time off they are the sort of people to get up at 4pm in the afternoon no matter what. Maybe I should just go on my own.

Former Member

You should just go on your own. If all they want to do is drink, then that is probably all they want to do. Start doing what YOU like and enjoy even if you have to go yourself. And, start looking to expand your circle of friends. Try joining a group or club of something you are interested in.

**helen**

GoodFella wrote: »

I work about an hour away from home so I don't really socialise with the work crew.

What's the area like closer to work, would you consider moving? I know that might sound a little dramatic, but sometimes it can take a life change like that to get out of a rut. If you had an hour extra free and were closer to new people you already 'kind of know' then maybe your chances of meeting new people, being able to explore different options for going out would increase?

Anyhow, that's just something that struck me in your thread.

Another option... out of the 5 guys you've mentioned, is there maybe one of them you could approach to do a few different things with who would be more up for it than the others? Sometimes with a whole group there's too much conflict in interest to get everyone to do something a bit different so you settle for what you know (e.g. drinking), but maybe there's one or two of the guys who are feeling a bit similar to you and would be up for trying a different kind of night out?

As for New York, from what you've said, it does sound like you might be disappointed if you rely on them... One possibility is to join a group of likeminded travellers... check out this website to see the kind of thing I mean http://www.trekamerica.co.uk/ Could be just the kind of thing you need to feel a bit inspired in terms of meeting new people and actually getting to see the parts of the city you're interested in.

I know some of this might seem a little daunting, but perhaps try and think ahead and consider, how will I feel if I'm feeling exactly the same way next January if I don't try out a few new things?

Former Member

I think you should/could go to New York by yourself. Especially if you stay in hostels (rather than hotels for example) you will probably meet others there, who you can go on day trips with. There are also sites like CouchSurfing where you create a profile and then you can meet locals and other travellers in the city, or even sleep at their house (hence the name). It's all built on trust and previous references though so depends if you're comfortable with the idea! I have met many CouchSurfers and it is really good to get a locals view of the city/ try out new cuisine.
Do it

Former Member

Thanks for the replies everyone

You should just go on your own. If all they want to do is drink, then that is probably all they want to do. Start doing what YOU like and enjoy even if you have to go yourself. And, start looking to expand your circle of friends. Try joining a group or club of something you are interested in.

Cheers Snerdly, I'm going to look into going on my own in the next couple of weeks I think and look at the link Helen gave me. In regards to joining a club, I really wouldnt know what kind of club I would join. That was always my advice to other people with similar threads but I never actually know what kind of clubs are out that would interest me. Thank you anyway

What's the area like closer to work, would you consider moving?

Its not great to be honest. I wouldn't consider moving there. No way. The people i work with are great, top bunch of people but pretty much 90% of them all have families and kids anyway so I dont think they would do much socialising with work people.

Another option... out of the 5 guys you've mentioned, is there maybe one of them you could approach to do a few different things with who would be more up for it than the others? Sometimes with a whole group there's too much conflict in interest to get everyone to do something a bit different so you settle for what you know (e.g. drinking), but maybe there's one or two of the guys who are feeling a bit similar to you and would be up for trying a different kind of night out?

Aye, I've tried lol Many a time. No joy.

As for New York, from what you've said, it does sound like you might be disappointed if you rely on them... One possibility is to join a group of likeminded travellers... check out this website to see the kind of thing I mean http://www.trekamerica.co.uk/ Could be just the kind of thing you need to feel a bit inspired in terms of meeting new people and actually getting to see the parts of the city you're interested in.

I know some of this might seem a little daunting, but perhaps try and think ahead and consider, how will I feel if I'm feeling exactly the same way next January if I don't try out a few new things?

Ive had a quick look at that site and it looks great! Cheers for that. It could be my best bet really

I think you should/could go to New York by yourself. Especially if you stay in hostels (rather than hotels for example) you will probably meet others there, who you can go on day trips with. There are also sites like CouchSurfing where you create a profile and then you can meet locals and other travellers in the city, or even sleep at their house (hence the name). It's all built on trust and previous references though so depends if you're comfortable with the idea! I have met many CouchSurfers and it is really good to get a locals view of the city/ try out new cuisine.
Do it

Cheers Purpled Yeah a mate of a mate is on that coachsurfing site. He has let loads of travelling people stay over at his house. He says its an awesome way to meet people - alot of random people but he says he loves that. All kinds of people he's met! I'll look into it, thanks!

**helen**

GoodFella wrote: »

Its not great to be honest. I wouldn't consider moving there. No way. The people i work with are great, top bunch of people but pretty much 90% of them all have families and kids anyway so I dont think they would do much socialising with work people.

Aye, I've tried lol Many a time. No joy.

Ahh, totally fair dos on the moving situation and having already tried asking mates out individually... Great to hear there's lots of potential with the NY trip though

Former Member

**helen** wrote: »

Ahh, totally fair dos on the moving situation and having already tried asking mates out individually... Great to hear there's lots of potential with the NY trip though

Yeah its all down to me sorting it out really - i have the money, i have the holiday to use, just upto me now!

Former Member

And, you can still keep your friends. You could have a circle of drinking buddies and a circle of other friends who like other stuff. It's all good.

Former Member

Haha yeah I have mates like that, and most of my house at uni are the same but with smoking cannabis.

Former Member

**helen** wrote: »

What's the area like closer to work, would you consider moving? I know that might sound a little dramatic, but sometimes it can take a life change like that to get out of a rut. If you had an hour extra free and were closer to new people you already 'kind of know' then maybe your chances of meeting new people, being able to explore different options for going out would increase?

Anyhow, that's just something that struck me in your thread.

Another option... out of the 5 guys you've mentioned, is there maybe one of them you could approach to do a few different things with who would be more up for it than the others? Sometimes with a whole group there's too much conflict in interest to get everyone to do something a bit different so you settle for what you know (e.g. drinking), but maybe there's one or two of the guys who are feeling a bit similar to you and would be up for trying a different kind of night out?

As for New York, from what you've said, it does sound like you might be disappointed if you rely on them... One possibility is to join a group of likeminded travellers... check out this website to see the kind of thing I mean http://www.trekamerica.co.uk/ Could be just the kind of thing you need to feel a bit inspired in terms of meeting new people and actually getting to see the parts of the city you're interested in.

I know some of this might seem a little daunting, but perhaps try and think ahead and consider, how will I feel if I'm feeling exactly the same way next January if I don't try out a few new things?

Aww yes! I was reading the first paragraph and that is like me. i hate living too far away from college. It's depressing having to travel such long distances almost everyday.

Former Member

GoodFella wrote: »

Does anyone else have a group of mates like this? There are 5 of us back here where I live, we are all close mates and we all know each other from primary school days. They are a great bunch of lads but recently... well, okay I lie, over the last year or so I've just become abit frustrated at their lack of wanting to do anything else that doesn't involve going out drinking.

We all work full time and don't get me wrong, I love a big drinking session at the weekend with them but thats all they want to do. I'd love to just go to the cinema during the week sometime or just go somewhere different that doesnt involve boozing!

I don't really have another group of mates outside of them which might be the issue but then I'm struggling to see how I'd meet new people. I work about an hour away from home so I don't really socialise with the work crew. I dont have a girlfriend, which would be nice at this moment in time but well, thats for another thread ha.

Its just abit frustrating really, I was looking at going to New York sometime this year just to see the place as I've always wanted to go. I mentioned it to them but they were like "ahh cant be arsed, we should go to amsterdam or prague", which no doubt would turn into a 2 day binge. Though, to be honest I dunno if they would be the right group to go to New York, I know what they're like. At weekends and on their time off they are the sort of people to get up at 4pm in the afternoon no matter what. Maybe I should just go on my own.

I see what you mean with the first paragraph. Hey your friends are probably only interested in drinking. My dad is the same he wont do anything else apart from go from pub to pub to pub and to pub. I also have a friend who all she wants to do is play out like little kids do and I hate it because it's not my thing because I've grown out of it. I'm 18 and I've been hanging around with 20 year olds from college ever since I was 17 because I was sick and tired of getting treaten like a teen. I used to hate it soo much. I hope this helped. Go out to some club/event and meet up with people it will make your life a lot better. I'd hate to know that you're out there doing things on your own as that would be depressing.

Former Member

pill 'ed wrote: »

Haha yeah I have mates like that, and most of my house at uni are the same but with smoking cannabis.

Lol at college theres a fairly redundant corridor that's hardly in use hardly anyone goes down it... there are these steps down there and normally at the top of the steps over the corridor there are lots of asians which sit around eating dixy chicken and smoking weed. lol All you can smell down that corridor is weed and I fairly like the smell personally but I know it's a disgusting smell too.

Former Member

XHelenBX wrote: »

I see what you mean with the first paragraph. Hey your friends are probably only interested in drinking. My dad is the same he wont do anything else apart from go from pub to pub to pub and to pub. I also have a friend who all she wants to do is play out like little kids do and I hate it because it's not my thing because I've grown out of it. I'm 18 and I've been hanging around with 20 year olds from college ever since I was 17 because I was sick and tired of getting treaten like a teen. I used to hate it soo much. I hope this helped. Go out to some club/event and meet up with people it will make your life a lot better. I'd hate to know that you're out there doing things on your own as that would be depressing.

I wouldn't say doing things on your own is depressing. I've always been someone who is happy enough in my own company. Of course, it would be nice to do things with mates but sometimes what you gonna do eh when there's no one to do it with! Thanks for the reply btw

Former Member

GoodFella wrote: »

I wouldn't say doing things on your own is depressing. I've always been someone who is happy enough in my own company. Of course, it would be nice to do things with mates but sometimes what you gonna do eh when there's no one to do it with! Thanks for the reply btw

Hey... I thought I was the only one. I mean I stay indoors when I come home from college and don't go out as I'm tired and stuff then. lol

Former Member

GoodFella,

Saw this article and thought of you! There is also this one (is more about travelling the world but some of it could maybe be applied to going to NY for a week or so!) Happy reading!

Former Member

purpledhaze wrote: »

GoodFella,

Saw this article and thought of you! There is also this one (is more about travelling the world but some of it could maybe be applied to going to NY for a week or so!) Happy reading!

Ahhh cheers me dears just had a quick look, looks like a good read. On my phone atm (so its tiny) so I'll wait till I'm on my lappy till I have a proper read. Thanks

Former Member

I just went to Japan by myself. I think it depends on what sort of holiday you're after. I was mainly doing the cultural stuff and walking round taking pictures, but I don't think I would want to go out clubbing by myself. But as others have said, it's not difficult to meet up with people who are willing to show you around, and can usually give you something you'd be unlikely to find by yourself.

Former Member

just to jump on the 'I went on my own' bandwagon, I went to New Zealand on my own because none of my mates fancied doing anything like that. I realised it was the only way I'd ever get to see it. I booked a Contiki tour and nearly everybody was in the same boat as me, all travelling on their own and I made so many friends. it was awesome. so I say just go for it