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I don't know what to do/think??

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you perhaps need to stop hating the "bitch" as you put it and begin to realise that it sounds like the only reason this woman has been this crazy towards you is likely because of what he has said and done.

    From what you say to me it doesnt sound like your friendship has been terribly healthy for you. The issues it causes, the potential lies it has been built on etc. He does appear to have played mind games with you, especially the blaming you for him and his other bit falling out.

    The fact that he let you come to a social event where his other bit blatently abused you, says a lot to me. He might not have realised it would happen, but he would be stupid if he didnt think it could be a possibility.

    I wouldnt stay away from him because of any problems it might cause you with this other woman, I'd do it because he seems rather manipulative.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just think that the other girl could have thought things similar to the way you do. She could think that she saw you and him getting closer and closer when she already had something going on with him. Things for them could have been happening well before the outside world (ie you) knew about them.

    You say its just friendship but then you mention that you would find it very very difficult to stay away from him, perhaps to you it is something more which is unrequited.

    All I will say is be careful, nobody should tell you who you should and shouldn't be friends with; but when you said "if I were him" you have to remember that it isnt your job to solve his issues, he got himself into them, and although he is your friend it isnt your job to protect him from what could be his own relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    She is very manipulative to the point that on more than a handful of occassions she called me to say that they (him and her) had fallen out and she was going to kill herself.

    Anyway after that encounter with her he blamed me for upsetting her and she started to threaten me and my family via facebook, phone and in work. I seperated myself from her but continued contact with him. He has become my best friend.

    I read until this passage and need to reply already before I finish your post. What I can already say regarding the bold part: Stay the fuck away from the crazies. If they are in item, lay low, because he will be on her side and you don't want to deal with her. You don't want to get involved in issues between them, you better get on with your own life until they are separated.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there Tinkerbelle69,

    Welcome to the boards :wave:

    It's not easy to be in this situation. It completely understandable to feel that because you knew him before and you have felt so close to him, that you deserve the friendship to stay the same and for him to make as much effort contacting you. The reality of the situation is unfortunately she clearly changed her mind about liking you, and has even threatened you, so perhaps him keeping his distance is a form of protecting you.

    You say you feel you love him yet could not date him and perhaps you do look up to him as a male figure and hope to find these qualities in your future partner. We could say "once they break up you could be close friends again" but sometimes the problem with being friends with the opposite sex is that once they have a partner, their attention has to be split in different directions, no matter who that partner is.

    You are always allowed to still feel close to someone and care about someone even if the relationship eventually changes. However, perhaps you also want to feel part of your friends lives, and it seems hard to be in his at the moment. Making new friends could be help distract you away from the situation, and even if you stay friends with him, you will also have others supporting you.

    Hope this helps, do let us know how you get on :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I guess that you should leave him. it's not like u r going to back down for the other girl, but things might go worse. Also, from what i understood that he knows that both u and the other girl like talkin to him and like him. IF he doesnt make an action to calm things down between both of u, then u should know that he's playin and like the fact that 2 girls like chattin with him. jumping to another point, If i analyze the problem, i would say that u like talkin to him becuz he was there when u needed him and becuz he has different point of view from u and wise. he's wiser becuz he's older. i Guess that another friend who's there and give care would replace him easily but u see it as a problem becuz u r not willing to move on becuz u r being disrupted by the other girl. i hope this helps u.
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