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Rant about ex-best friend...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i was there when she needed me, i was there when her bf cheated on her, kissed some other girl. i was there when she nearly killed herself, i was there when she needed someone to rely on, i was there when she needed to be cheered up. i was there when she was picked on by other people. i was there when she 'came out of the closet' i was there when people teased her about it, i was there through her break up, i was there when she needed someone because her parents werent there. i was there when everyone else walked out.
ive taken her crap, her bullshit, i sat there and took it with no question. i stomped people down for her when they gave her crap, i stood up for her when she couldnt. i tried to give her the world but she screwed it up in my face and through it back at me. i was there when the world walked out. i was there when she didnt even understand her self.
we said it would be friends forever, we were sisters but because shes changed because of her gf ive lost my 'best friend'. she said i wouldnt lose her a matter of weeks ago, looks like i was wrong, because now you 'cant be bothered' to try and fix this friendship because i dont agree with someone you love. what a shame. at least i found out now before i got into deep. i mean what have i lost, only 14 years of my life. thats nothing considering im 16.....
if you cant be bothered because you have her to replace me then walk away. see if i give a damn. just because you dont care what others think of you doesnt mean you can treat others like shit.
dont give me the bullshit about you dont know if you can be bothered with friends anymore. when youve got everyone else you hang out with. grow a pair and tell the truth you heartless cow.
i was there for you when no one else was. i put up with your crap. i was there when you nearly died. i was there when you needed someone.
no matter how hard i try ill never forget you, because youve been a big part of my life. but enjoy the rest of yours. i know ill enjoy mine because i now have true friends by my side..
i didnt want it to end this way, but clearly its gunna. i wana have you back in my life but you dont me back in yours.
if you wana be friends, you know my number, if not delete it. its in your hands. i cant deal with it anymore. you hate making decisions but this is one you have to make.
Goodbye.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hope you are ok. It sounds like you have been really strong and supportive of your friend in the past and it obviously shows what a good person you are.

    I personally think you need to be careful, I know it might seem like you are in confusing times and it comes across in your post.
    but enjoy the rest of yours. i know ill enjoy mine because i now have true friends by my side..

    The above quote seems to suggest that you dont want her in your life, and that you will be better off because of it, but then if you look at the quote below it looks to me that you do want her back in your life.
    i didnt want it to end this way, but clearly its gunna. i wana have you back in my life but you dont me back in yours.

    Perhaps you need to take stock and decide to move on, as hard as it will be. You have been hurt by this old friend of yours, as hard as it might be not to dwell on it, with time and the friends you have by your side now, you should look ahead in life. It doesn't matter what your friend has done to you now, but it does matter what she has done in the past. What I'm trying to say is remember the good memories that you have because they will never change.

    It sounds like you have given so much to someone who has not been returning the gratitude, that alone might suggest that you have done the right thing putting distance between you. However you do need to understand that it sounds like your friend has gone through a hell of a lot at an early age, and it might not be that fair having a go at her because you have helped her out when she was getting bullied or feeling very low. People in my opinion should help their friends out because they want to and because they can, not because they expect some personal benefit in return.

    We dont know the whole story and I doubt that even if we did, if we would ever understand it in the way that you and your friend did, but I hope your vent on here has allowed you to get some things off your chest and that you are feeling better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understand what you've said and it all makes perfect sense. I do want her in my life because she's an amazing friend but I don't want a friend who finds it an effort to be a friend, does that make sense? In a way I'm in two heads about her; could be why I'm seeming confusing. Part of me wants to be as close as we were before but I dont want her to feel like it's a chore. She said that she doesn't know if she can be bothered.

    She's been through a lot, and I don't want a reward for it, god no. But I've been through a lot too as you might know from previous posts and it still isn't any better. She's happy now with her gf and I'm happy for her, but she's completely forgotten about me... It might sound selfish but what bout me? I've been there throgh EVERYTHING with her. Its kinda like she's used me to keep her up but now I'm not needed so she will just toss me to the side.

    Thankyou x
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    *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Hi there Looking4help

    I’m assuming this is the same best friend you posted about before and it sounds like the situation hasn’t improved. At least though, by the sounds of things, you confronted her about her behaviour? Although you didn’t perhaps get the response you wanted (“she doesn’t know if she can be bothered”) and that’s a very hurtful thing for her to have said. But at least you expressed your feelings and let her know how she’s making you feel. You know where you stand now and that can be liberating.

    As G-Raffe highlighted in his response, it sounds like you’re very confused about the whole situation and this is totally normal. You hate the way your friend has treated you but, at the same time, you don’t want to lose the friendship you’ve invested so much in. It’s understandable to feel torn in two directions. But I think G-Raffe’s right when he suggests taking stock and moving on. From what you’ve told us, you’ve been an absolutely amazing friend and maybe it’s time to focus your efforts on people who appreciate just how much you have to give?

    This won’t be easy. Sometimes people underestimate just how much grief there is involved in a friendship ending. It’s no different from a boyfriend/girlfriend breakup. In fact, it can sometimes be worse because you’ve ‘been together’ usually so much longer. But just like any other breakup, let it take it’s time, look after yourself, keep busy with other things/friends/boyfriends, go through a stage of feeling incredibly incredibly bitter, and eventually you will feel better. And you’ve always got TheSite.org’s boards here when you need them :)

    Feel free to keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on.

    Big hug *hug*

    Holly
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