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I feel like I'm disappearing

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
This probably sounds really stupid but for about a year now I've felt like this and nothing I do seems to fix it. I feel like everything is really far away from me, or maybe I'm disappearing. I don't feel interested in life anymore and I even have to remind myself to eat and shower and I don't really feel like talking to people or leaving my room most days. It's a really horrible feeling like someone came in and turned the sound off on life and everything seems so pointless and like it doesn't matter. I used to be full of ideas about what I wanted to do but now the closer the future gets the more everything just seems like it will stop and I honestly can't imagine myself with any sort of future.
I used to reach out to people but now I feel like there is no point. No one can do anything and very few people even notice or care if I don't leave my room for 2 weeks. Trying to talk to my family has no effect since they either sweep it under the rug or turn it into a shouting match. I don't want to disappear, I want to have a life but a lot of the time now I think about killing myself. Please help.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi UnsafetyDancer (cool username btw)

    Firstly, let me welcome you to TheSite.

    Sounds like your gonna through a bit of a tough time.

    Please check out our links in the mental health section. It might give help give you some insight into some of the feelings you've been talking about.

    I know you said it feels like you have no one to talk to. If you feel like you need someone to talk to or hear a friendly voice have you ever tried contacting Support Line? They offer Confidential and emotional support on the telephone for children, young adults and adults.

    You can check out mire info on them below. Let us know how you get on and keep posting. There is always someone here when need to offload.

    Web: www.supportline.org.uk
    Tel: 020 8554 9004
    Email: [email protected]

    Phil :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey thanks for that.

    I guess that a large part of my problem is that in the past the people I have been to see haven't been very helpful. I dunno if there is a language that you have to speak to health professionals in to make your concerns be taken seriously but it's very frustrating and annoying. After about 4 years of trying to seek help on and off I feel very reluctant to reach out. I feel like I'm being treated like someone too young to know her own mind and it's very hard to convince people that life just isn't working the way it is right now.
  • *Holly**Holly* Moderator Deactivated Posts: 140 Settling in
    Hey there

    Sorry to hear you've not had much luck with talking to health professionals about your feelings. It can take a lot of guts to tell someone about the feelings you've been having and it's understandable to feel frustrated if you don't feel you've been taken seriously. Unfortunately sometimes mental health issues aren't as well-understood as they should be, but try not to let a bad experience put you off seeking the help you deserve.

    Was it a GP you spoke to about your feelings? What happened to make you feel so frustrated? If it was your doctor you had a bad experience with, this article about alternatives to GPs may be useful.

    Did you try calling Supportline like phil01 suggested?

    The good news is you have TheSite.org here to talk to whenever you feel low. Feel free to keep posting to let us know how you're getting on.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I share that feeling of disappearing and getting more and more remote. It is a terrible space to be in, especially bc one can feel like it’s terribiy lonely. And secondly, that you’re less and less engaged w life.

    It isn’t merely depression. It stems from a disorganized attachment in early childhood and ptsd.

    I’m not a clinician and even if I were I️ wouldn’t diagnonse you based on a self report.
    But the things you talked about are very similar to things that I have experienced. And it is very uncomfortable, I️ know.
    There’s research going on in the uk. It’s research on depersonalization.
    Maybe look into that. But it isn’t an ez cure. I’ll tell you that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Look into depersonalization. If sounds awfully like the symptoms to that.
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 7,875 Legendary Poster
    Hey @Lexy2018, just to let you know you've managed to track down an old thread from 2011!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • emilyjohnemilyjohn Fast Newbie Posts: 23
    I share that feeling of disappearing and getting more and more remote. It is a terrible space to be in especially BC one can feel like it’s terribly lonely.
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