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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi really need some advice please.
I work in a hotel and over the years have made friends with a couple with whom i usually socialise once with them, a dinner out, whilst they are away.
My weight over the years has flutuated, due to various reasons. Normal reasons...
My problem is that every time they turn up the man always looks deep (uncomfortably deep) into my eyes and says "are you ok?" ..which i am...although sometimes in the past i havent been, but i havent admitted to it, for example when i went through a break up with my ex... but moreso, he takes it upon himself to comment on my weight, especially when I am slimmer.
They are due to visit next week and i am already nervous and panicking about it as I know hes gonna comment on it when he sees me as I am notably slimmer than six months ago when I last saw them.
What can I say to him to cut this rubbish once and for all, without coming across as rude? I find him controlling as it is, and to be honest, had i realised what his character was before getting to know him better, i would never have put the energy into the friendship. Many thanks to anyone who can offer some advice.
I work in a hotel and over the years have made friends with a couple with whom i usually socialise once with them, a dinner out, whilst they are away.
My weight over the years has flutuated, due to various reasons. Normal reasons...
My problem is that every time they turn up the man always looks deep (uncomfortably deep) into my eyes and says "are you ok?" ..which i am...although sometimes in the past i havent been, but i havent admitted to it, for example when i went through a break up with my ex... but moreso, he takes it upon himself to comment on my weight, especially when I am slimmer.
They are due to visit next week and i am already nervous and panicking about it as I know hes gonna comment on it when he sees me as I am notably slimmer than six months ago when I last saw them.
What can I say to him to cut this rubbish once and for all, without coming across as rude? I find him controlling as it is, and to be honest, had i realised what his character was before getting to know him better, i would never have put the energy into the friendship. Many thanks to anyone who can offer some advice.
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Im sorry that you are feeling anxious about meeting these friends next week:eek2:. You were saying that it is mainly one of the friends that you feel uncomfortable with ?
Do you find that you could approach the subject with him and tell him how you are feeling and that it makes you feel uncomfortable when he makes comments about your appearance ? If not do you think you would get a chance to speak with to his partner and maybe explain to them how you feeling and they could have a word with him ?
It is very difficult to approach situations like this and as you have said in your post, you don't want to come across as being rude( and im sure you wont !) but it is always best to talk about things out in the open rather than to keep things in and bottle your feelings up.
I'm sure you will feel much better about the situation when you have spoken about it with your friends and the anticipation of having to approach someone about something you are not happy with is always quite a daunting thing but i'm sure they will appreciate your honesty :thumb:.
I hope everything goes ok for you and please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on !:wave:
Tc,
B.:wave: