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Whats going on

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, well im 15 y/o and i bin w/ mah bf 4 about a yr now. hes my first real bf and the onli guy ive eva slept w/. im his first love 2, and also the onli girl hes slept w/. theres quite a distance gap, but its ok as we talk on the net in the week and i go 2 his at the weekend. we never really argue, and wen we do im a pushover, i say sorry even if he was in the rong. :rolleyes: i no this is bad but i do it anyway. i really love him but the over day a m8 sed 2 me the onli thing that keeps me and him 2 gether is sex. all of a sudden alarm bells went off, i was thinking after that and realised they mite b rite, every week wen i visit thats practically all we do. and i always go 2 his, he never cums 2 mine, possibly because we cant hav sex cuz of my dad? hes sed stuff aswell, like wen i asked him 2 cum 2 mine..." oh that will b no fun" he sez he loves me, he sez hes in love w/ me and wants 2 spend de rest of our lives 2gether, wen he describes our lives in the future its always sex. how many times a day we will do it, where we will do it. am i reading 2 far in2 this? .....look ok im not stupid, lol, i no that im onli 15 and hes 16 . the chances of us bein 2 gether 4 the rest of our lives is virtually 0. im realistic but i dont wanna b taken 4 a fool. i no hes a lot more immature and intelligent than me ( not bein nasty, i love the guy 2 bits but its the trut) and i was wondering if its his hormones getting the best of him :confused: well if u acctually read that thanx~! and thanx in advance 4 any replys!:)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Whats going on

    Hiya

    Umm you should probably talk to him about it. He does sound a bit sex mad, but does he treat you nicely, is he considerate etc ?? If he's a really nice boyfriend to you, then chances are when you talk to him about it then he'll recognise what he's doing wrong, and try and stop talking about sex all the time.

    But yeah, talk to him and see how he reacts.

    Good luck
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx 4 ur reply. well on i did tlk 2 him about it and it made him feel bad 4 a lil bit then he went straight back 2 bein sex mad lol hes a gr8 bf tho, i cudnt ask 4 beta, sumtimes he can b a bit big headed and selfish, but cant every1, id like 2 tlk 2 him agen, but wot shud i say as 2 not make him feel bad 2 let him no im concerned?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well if you like sex all the time too then it sounds like a great relationship. maybe your friends just jealous? theres nothing wrong with having a high sex drive, just enjoy it while it lasts and dont worry.
    another thing, try to type using proper words instead of text talk, as most people here dont like it - its very hard to read.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you think he is using you for sex, I would agree.

    But most boys you will meet will want sex with you, its their methods they use to get it from you. You bf is unwilling to make any effort to come to your house due to the fact that he wont get any sex, That's pretty low and If I were you would dump him and find a boy that will treat you right and won't Just want you for sex
    i no hes a lot more immature and intelligent than me ( not bein nasty, i love the guy 2 bits but its the trut) and i was wondering if its his hormones getting the best of him

    Hmm, more intelligent then you yet he using you for sex, I don't see him as being intelligent man some how:p

    Yeah so what his a Full red blooded man, with urges and stuff, So am I but I don't manipulate girls into having sex with me. He is using you for his own end...(his bell-end) :D;)

    Hmm, on another note could you try not to use "Txt" talk as much as its quite hard to understand sometimes. Thanks:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant see anywhere there that says she doesnt want to have sex as much as he does. they are both each others first sexual relationship so bound to be intense, and theyve been together for a year so it doesnt sound to me like hes using her, it just sounds like hes got a high sex drive, and if they are both happy with that then its not a problem. It also seems that she never thought there was a problem until her friend put the idea into her head. that says to me that its her friends problem - not hers.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the advice (and ill try not to use as much text talk!)your right i didnt think about it before my friend said anything. sorry i misstyped, i meant to say hes more immature and less intelligent, not more immature and intelligent :rolleyes: well i do like the sex but it hurts he doesnt really do any foreplay so im not very open and its quite painful. he has got a high sex drive, a lot higher than mine i must say, i think the pain has put me off a bit, do you think that could be a problem?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LickWid
    hes a gr8 bf tho, i cudnt ask 4 beta, concerned?

    This is a tad contradictory because you're on here omcplaining that he is too sex mad, won't go to your house, makes you feel guilty and you're the one who apologises after arguments.

    Sounds like you could ask for someone better!

    However, I think you're a little sonfused about how you feel and maybe if you spend a little time apart you will begin to see things more clearly.

    Have you tried spending some time on a more social level, doing stuff like going to the cinema? Maybe try that for a while...?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I rest my case rainbow brite ;):p (Just kiddding):)

    He is using her, trust me he is.

    No doubt he is also bragging about it to all his mates, Dump the loser
    a lot higher than mine i must say, i think the pain has put me off a bit, do you think that could be a problem?

    Yes of course it has, if something hurts you your going to be less keen on trying it again, Buy him some sex books to read or something, let him know in a nice way he needs to improve his foreplay skills!!

    Or failing that find a boy you don't have to train

    (Sorry I'm in a nasty mood for some reason, Give the guy a chance to improve, but you must let him know what's wrong)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well then that might be a problem, I think you need to stand up for yourself and tell him you need more foreplay and possibly use a lubricant too. theres no point in having sex unless youre both enjoying it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but how can you tell when somebodys got to much experience? i mean i dont want someone whos been everywhere and possibly has a sti:confused: i dont really want to split up with chris but im seriously considering it, thing is im quite shy, and not sure wether i will find somebody who will give me emotional support like chris, ive been through some hard times and he has been a good shoulder, but is he basically a friend i have sex with?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You need more then a "Shagging buddy" who listen to you now and then

    I'm sure you can do must better then "chris"
    but how can you tell when somebodys got to much experience? i mean i dont want someone whos been everywhere and possibly has a sti

    Well, what you girls should learn is when you meet a new boy you don't have to jump into bed with them rite way!!, When you find someone you like give it time before you have sex. make him wait and your see what kind of man he really is!!
    and not sure wether i will find somebody who will give me emotional support like chris

    Sorry to run "Chris" down but he gave you emotional support in exchange for sex at his demand, he never made an effort to spend time with you without having sex involved.

    You will find a bloke who can give you emotional support, you just need to go for a "nice guy" and not the "bad boy" types
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    harmless, its all very well saying she should split up with someone shes been going out with for a year. I think she just needs to stand up for herself, this bloke hasnt got much sexual experience and he probably thought she was happy the way it was, as shes already said, she just says sorry even if hes in the wrong. it sounds to me as if youre an `anything for a quiet life` kind of girl, and being like that, its easy for people to take advantage of you, and half the time they probably dont even realise theyre doing it. If you stood up for yourself, then im sure he`d have more respect for you. As you said hes your best friend and you also have sex with him - well that sounds good to me, my husband is my best friend too, and i have sex with him! thats what good relationships are all about - a shagging buddy is somethign different.
    I think you need to just train this boy up a bit, if he starts going back to his old sex mad ways, then remind him. Itll soon become second nature to him and im sure he`d enjoy it more if you were turned on too. I think the relationship is worth saving. maybe give him a trial period of a month or two, and if he hasnt got any better in that time, then perhaps re-think.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with you rainbow brite full heartily if she were older, the fact that she so young makes it pointless trying her to stay with him, she may remain friend with him, but i doubt this will last longer then 2 and a half years top

    She far to young at 15 to be tied down like that, the boy is also too immature at 16.

    You are right about her being weak, and needing to stand up for her self!

    But if she wants to invest her time training this lad up she can, i think it be a bit pointless but if she love him then go for it

    Love's blind and all that crap....:p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do kind of agree with you harmless, considering her age, it isnt likely to last, but I had a 3 year relationship from the age of 16 to 19 and although it didnt last forever, it was still a great learning experience, and I think sticking things out and learning how to make relationships work, is important, even if it doesnt last forever. What do you learn by chucking in the towel at the first hurdle? No relationship is ever perfect, and maybe this bloke needs a kick up the arse to make him see that his girlfriends satisfaction is as important as his own.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your replys. yes i supose i am weak when it comes to him, i have no idea why though, any other bf ive had ive been the dominant one, its strange because now im just so submissive which i know is a bad thing:(. i know we are very young and i supose our relationship is pointless except for life experience. i am realistic and expecting it to last forever is stupid, but i would like it to last for as long as possible and for my first sexual relationship to be a memorable one ( for good reasons ) any ideas on what i can say to him? how can i make him realise how i feel without making him feel guilty? last time i brought it up he went into a sulk because he thought he was being a bad boyfriend.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Him going into a sulk, is him using emotional blackmail, and you shouldnt take any notice of that - he IS being a bad boyfriend when he takes no notice of your needs. he needs to be a better boyfriend, and as you said, he has other redeeming qualities so its not all bad. tell him to stop being a child and you want foreplay, and if he doesnt start making more of an effort and giving you a bit of pleasure too, then no more nookie for him! its not about dominance and submission, its about equality. you have every right to enjoy sex, and hes not letting you enjoy it by just barging in there (pardon the pun) without turning you on first. Take control. treat him like the dog he is :p;) and dont let him in there until he starts giving you what YOU want too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite
    . you have every right to enjoy sex, and hes not letting you enjoy it by just barging in there (pardon the pun) without turning you on first. Take control. treat him like the dog he is :p;) and dont let him in there until he starts giving you what YOU want too.


    rainbow brite I had no idea you could be sooo mean, nasty and bad! I like it.
    any ideas on what i can say to him? how can i make him realise how i feel without making him feel guilty?

    Yes like rainbow brite said, No sex for him until he does foreplay!

    He must know what foreplay is at 16? (Ask him just incase) and make him feel guilty!! he should feel guilty for you not enjoying sex as much as you should, If there is one thing you girls are good at its making men feel guilty.;) :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, so i walk up to him and say chris, your a bad lover. the last 8 months have been painful and i want you to change, give me foreplay or i dont put out. hmmmmm nice ring lol oh yeah, and any ideas on how to stop his friends hitting on me? they are really starting to bug me!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol LickWid the more I hear the more I dislike all this

    Tell him frankly the sex hurts and you do not enjoyed it and want him to Focus on more foreplay before we/you have sex!

    If after that talk he still has not made an effort to improve his love making skill. Txt him or phone him and say I think we need to take a step back and not have sex for a while cos it hurts me/you
    and any ideas on how to stop his friends hitting on me?

    Does your bf know his mate are "Hitting" on you
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well i tlked 2 him and we did more foreplay and it helped :D and it was a lot better! lol , im not sure wether he knows or not,...hes seen them with me askin for shags & tryin to feel my ass and everything but i think he just thought they were messing about, it wasnt untill he saw a txt one of them sent me he beat him up.however hes still doing it and theres about 3 of his mates constantly sending txt messages & e-mails:mad:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should tell him the sex is better now(Really over rate it!!), as for his mates tell him what they are doing. and maybe you should tell them to fuck off as well

    Don't be left alone with them as well:)

    Because you’re bf might think you like other blokes touching you!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    definitely praise him to the hilt when he gets it right, `wow that was so much better/nice, it really turns me on when you do that` etc etc, If youre still finding it a bit sore even with lots of foreplay, maybe you need to use a bit of lubricant, KY jelly, baby oil (not if your using condoms though as baby oil perishes the rubber)

    as for his mate hitting on you, tell him to fuck off or you will tell your boyfriend, your big brother, your dad, or just kick him in the nuts.

    Glad your boyf is starting to get his act together. youve got to train him like youd train a dog, ie, rewards and praise for good behaviour, ignore him when hes bad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks lol well ive done all that and hes still bugging me, i dont want to tell chris because i know hell beat him up and probably get in trouble for it, i think ill jus get one of my mates to sort him out ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite

    . youve got to train him like youd train a dog, ie, rewards and praise for good behaviour, ignore him when hes bad.

    Lol, LMAO

    rainbow brite this hard me laughing my socks off. Tell me, is this how you treat your hubby then?;) :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Harmless


    Tell me, is this how you treat your hubby then?;) :p

    Well i do try to, but hes a bad bad boy, and not easily trained
    ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Whats going on
    Originally posted by LickWid
    Ok, well im 15 y/o and i bin w/ mah bf 4 about a yr now. hes my first real bf and the onli guy ive eva slept w/. im his first love 2, and also the onli girl hes slept w/. theres quite a distance gap, but its ok as we talk on the net in the week and i go 2 his at the weekend. we never really argue, and wen we do im a pushover, i say sorry even if he was in the rong. :rolleyes: i no this is bad but i do it anyway. i really love him but the over day a m8 sed 2 me the onli thing that keeps me and him 2 gether is sex. all of a sudden alarm bells went off, i was thinking after that and realised they mite b rite, every week wen i visit thats practically all we do. and i always go 2 his, he never cums 2 mine, possibly because we cant hav sex cuz of my dad? hes sed stuff aswell, like wen i asked him 2 cum 2 mine..." oh that will b no fun" he sez he loves me, he sez hes in love w/ me and wants 2 spend de rest of our lives 2gether, wen he describes our lives in the future its always sex. how many times a day we will do it, where we will do it. am i reading 2 far in2 this? .....look ok im not stupid, lol, i no that im onli 15 and hes 16 . the chances of us bein 2 gether 4 the rest of our lives is virtually 0. im realistic but i dont wanna b taken 4 a fool. i no hes a lot more immature and intelligent than me ( not bein nasty, i love the guy 2 bits but its the trut) and i was wondering if its his hormones getting the best of him :confused: well if u acctually read that thanx~! and thanx in advance 4 any replys!:) [/B]

    OK can anyone translate this gobbledigook for me? Why don't people write properly??? This is so hard to read.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, well im 15 years old and i been with my boyfriend for about a year now. hes my first real boyfriend and the only guy i have ever slept with. im his first love aswell, and also the only girl hes slept with. theres quite a distance gap, but its ok as we talk on the net in the week and i go to his at the weekend. we never really argue, and when we do im a pushover, i say sorry even if he was in the wrong. i know this is bad but i do it anyway. i really love him but the over day a mate said to me the only thing that keeps me and him together is sex. all of a sudden alarm bells went off, i was thinking after that and realised they mite be right, every week when i visit thats practically all we do. and i always go to his, he never comes to mine, possibly because we cant have sex because of my dad? hes said stuff aswell, like when i asked him to come to mine..." oh that will be no fun" he says he loves me, he says he is in love with me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together, when he describes our lives in the future its always sex. how many times a day we will do it, where we will do it. am i reading to far into this? .....look ok im not stupid, lol, i know that im only 15 and hes 16 . the chances of us being together for the rest of our lives is virtually 0. im realistic but i dont want to be taken for a fool. i no hes a lot more immature and less intelligent than me ( not bein nasty, i love the guy to bits but its the truth ) and i was wondering if its his hormones getting the best of him


    is what its meant to say, sorry for everyone who couldnt understand it.
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