No Sex Drive is Driving me Mad!

Former Member

Hello,

I have been on Microgynon for nearly 10 years now without a break. For the past 2 years I have had no sex drive what so ever and it is really affecting my relationship. I love my boyfriend to bits and he is being so patient but I just want to be affectionate with him!

When I say I have no sex drive, I mean I feel nothing. Like I am numb. Not even sex in films makes me feel horny! :banghead:

I have been to the Doctors about it and they have no clue what is going on. :crazyeyes: I have a history of depression and low self esteem, but I know in my heart it is not that.

A confided in a friend recently as it has been eating away at me and she said it could well be the pill. So we did some research and looked online and found that other women experienced low sex drive, but could this happen after years of being on it!?

I also have an upset tummy a lot and tiredness, something else my friend said could be caused by the pill.

Please please please has anyone else experienced this!? I feel like I am going mad and the pressure is making things worse! I want to be horny!!!!! :yes:

P.S Please don't say stuff like maybe the spark has gone with my BF etc, because I know it hasn't as I love him with all my heart and find him attractive etc!

Former Member

i get the same thing when on the pill, or any hormonal contraception. I changed to the non-hormonal coil and it sorted it out. If you dont want that maybe try going back to condoms for a while and see if it helps

Former Member

Hey there Ickle_Raven,

Sounds really frustrating :banghead:

The pill, and any contraception which uses hormones can affect different people in different ways, so while it can be reassuring to get other people's experiences and opinions, the best thing you can do is to visit a clinic or your GP to discuss your contraception. You say you have been to the doctors but did you specifically ask if you could try a different kind of contraception? As Suzy says, if going onto a completely new long term contraception feels like too big a step, maybe trying condoms for a while could help you to work out what effect the pill is having. It's one to discuss with the experts. If you would rather go to a sexual health clinic than your GP, you can search for one here.

It could be that there are a range of different issues that have come together to cause this problem at this time in your life and you need to think about a range of different tactics to try and move forwards. Have a look at this video from netdoctor on going off sex. You might also find it useful to look at TheSite.orgs info on sensual sex - it's mainly just silly ideas and suggestions, but spending time together and being close without feeling pressurized into having to feel a certain way or to have penetrative sex might be a good way to help you relax and enjoy being with your partner.

Another option you might want to consider is sex therapy (have a look at some info here). It sounds scary but a lot of couples find it very useful to get external help, tips and suggestions. You may be able to access it for free through Brook centres or you can chat to Relate online or over the phone about how they can help.

Let us know how you get on

Former Member

wow thank you so much Fostress!

The doctors mentioned about trying other pills and the coil etc but there was a bit of a debate between them (i saw 2 in the end) of if the pill was really the problem. One said it is the other said no way! My boyfriend and I are going to go to a family planning clinic/sexual health clinic to discuss options. We use condoms anyway as I find it is less messy! One of the Doctors did say to try coming off the pill to see the effect and I am booked in to see her again in Jan.

I have already tried loads of the other pills when I first started taking it. Yasmin was horrible, it made me sick and gave me migraines. Can't remember the others they made me try.

I will be having a look through the information you have linked to see if that can help! Thank you soooo much!

I am terrified I will never get it back though :crying:

Former Member

glad to be of some help

Former Member

and sorry i wasnt

**helen**

Fostress wrote: »

As Suzy says, if going onto a completely new long term contraception feels like too big a step, maybe trying condoms for a while could help you to work out what effect the pill is having. It's one to discuss with the experts. If you would rather go to a sexual health clinic than your GP, you can search for one here.

I'd say you were, your experience is massively helpful tbh.