Pregnant and confused

Former Member

Hi all!.. This is my problem i was recently casually seeing a guy and have now discovered im pregnant. I told him this and now hes point blank ignoring me, he has not said a thing, ive called him, text him and nothing, at the moment i just feel completly lost, even if he was just to tell me he didnt wAnt anything to do with the whole thing i would still be upset/angry but at least it would be something . I reAlly dont know where to go from here i dont think i could face having an abortion as ive never agreed with it myself, i cant beleive i have been so stupid, ive called him every single day for the past two weeks since ive found out so i just want some advice on what to do really, do i delete his number and accept that hes jus not bothered or what, i dont want to force him into anything as none of this was planned but im just so angry that hes not even aknowlaging the fact im pregnant , help

Former Member

He might be really shocked and could come round later but to be on the safe side I think you should look for other people to support you during this time. Keep his number just in case but stop calling him so often.

Former Member

He is the father to your baby. You will need to keep in contact and he needs to man up to his responsibilities. He may or may not be much support to you emotionally. Probably not so you should just understand that he isn't going to be there for you. And, you need to move ahead with your life and make plans. But, he is not off the hook just because he doens't want to answer some phone calls. You may or may not need to get a lawyer and parternity test down the road as he will need to provide support for his child as well.
So, just hang in there and hopefully you have some family that can help you as well.

Former Member

Hi Lisashannon, hope you're doing ok. It must be a big shock to find out your pregnant, but his behaviour sounds like it is making things much harder. *hug*

It's really understandable to feel confused about what to do and what you want. Have you seen this section on TheSite.org on unplanned pregnancy. Looking at this section might help you get your thoughts straight and help you get informed about all your options.

It's also understandable to feel angry about how he has reacted - of course you want him to take responsibility for his role in the situation. This article here tells you a bit more about what his responsibilities are as a father. Of course, knowing this doesn't help much with the fact that he isn't supporting you emotionally at the moment. He may well be scared and unsure about what to do and it might just be sinking in for him too. I wonder if it might be worth writing him an email or message, telling how you feel and what you plan to do, and perhaps including some information and links for him to look at, then give him some time for it to sink in and for him to think about it. You could explain that you are going to decide what you want to do, and he doesn't have to be involved (if this is what you feel), but that you would appreciate some contact from him.

We can't control how other people behave to us, but we can try and control how it makes us feel, so it might be worth trying to accept that his behaviour isn't great, and get on with finding support for you rather than dwelling on and getting angry about him.

As the others mentioned, it might be worth seeking support from people who you are closer to - do you have a friend or family member you can talk to? If not, you could always call Brook for some support and a chat.

Hope this helps a bit. Let us know how you're getting on