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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey all
been busy the past couple of days so haven't really had a chance to post anything! Anyway, my problem is that I know that theres this girl that really likes me and I kinda like her a bit but mostly see her as a friend and I don't really wanna take things further with her! The worst part is that, I feel like such a dick for this, is that we've spent a couple of nights together, not sleeping together but just spending time with each other and watching films or something and cuddling for the night! This is made even worse by the fact that the girl that I do actually like, I think, feels the same way about me and we spent the night together the other night in her room just watching crappy tv and hugging etc

i know what I want but I have no idea how to go about it in this situation. I don't wanna lose girl 1 as a friend as she's one of the nicest people I know but I feel like such a dick about the way I've been with her! I don't feel that I've exactly lead her on because with my close friends that are girls I do tend to be cuddly and I think she knows this. With GIrl 2 I really want this to work out, she's not a typical girl in a lot of ways, and I guess thats what makes me like her. idk, I know I've got to tell girl 1 but I have no idea how to broach the subject, fml, any ideas please

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just go with the truth. Works reliably.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has girl A actually said (or implied) that she thinks something is about to happen between you? If she has then yeah you probably do have to explain to her that you only see her as a friend.

    If not then you are probably ok to try and take things forward with girl B, just be aware that girl A might not be too happy about it and might ask for an explanation as she probably THINKS there is something between you, even if she hasn't said so.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Neddy wrote: »
    Has girl A actually said (or implied) that she thinks something is about to happen between you? If she has then yeah you probably do have to explain to her that you only see her as a friend.

    If not then you are probably ok to try and take things forward with girl B, just be aware that girl A might not be too happy about it and might ask for an explanation as she probably THINKS there is something between you, even if she hasn't said so.

    not directly to me but from the way that me and her have been hanging out, she's always the one that asks to hangout most of the time and the way she acts around me recently! I just hope that I haven't lead her on because thats really not me in the slightest! I guess I'll have to explain to her then
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    *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Hi curly_boy

    I think Strubbles is right here - in this sort of situation, honestly is often the best policy.

    You say you're already feeling a bit bad because you believe your actions may have led her on. Don't beat yourself up too much about it because it's not like you've slept with her/kissed her etc or done anything deliberately. Also you're asking advice on how best to approach it- that's not something a "d*ck" would do, so give yourself some credit. :)

    It sounds like you really value her friendship and, if you are worried about hurting her, then setting things straight may make you both feel better about the situation.

    How? It's a tricky one. But this TheSite article on How to reject someone offers advice on this exact situation so it's worth a read.

    You also mention that you're worried you'll lose her as a friend. It could be that Girl 1 may not see as much of you for a while afterwards if she's hurt you don't return her feelings. It's worth preparing yourself for this. But hopefully, in time, she'll move on and be grateful that you were honest with her.

    Good luck with it and feel free to keep posting to let us know how you get on.

    Also good luck asking out Girl 2 ;)

    Holly
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks guys, I'm gonna talk to girl 1 tonight, I really do value her friendship and hope that I don't fuck things ups between us! also going out tomorrow night with girl 2 so should be talking to her then as well :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hope it all went to plan :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it went alright in all honestly, with girlA we're taking a bit of space from each other at her suggestion, but we're still friends and we still chat, we're going out together in a big group tomorrow so its all good on that front
    with girlB, not so good really, when I was about to talk to her she saw someone else she knew and waved them over then they went off to the dance floor (it was in a club, probably the worst place I could thing of to do this sort of thing)! We both ended up very drunk, she got with another guy and I got with another girl kinda as a revenge thing which was the most pointless thing to do because she doesn't know yet! Swings and roundabouts really. but we're meeting up friday day so I'll give it a go then instead of in a club
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    *Holly**Holly* Deactivated Posts: 140 Helping Hand
    Really glad for you that the chat with Gril A went OK. It couldn't have been the easiest of chats so well done! It probably seems like quite a relief that the friendship hasn't been too affected. And it's good for her too now she knows where she stands. :)

    As for Girl B - it sounds like alcohol played a leading role in that evening going a little haywire. Good luck for today though. These two articles may help you through the awkward part - especially if you're both sober this time round.
    I love my friend

    Asking someone out

    Feel free to let us know how it goes. Fingers crossed for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, alcohol really did play a large part of the night! I haven't managed to see her today, been working because my website coursework has gone wrong so I've had to re-make the whole thing from scratch just to get the links working (I HATE THE SOFTWARE WITH A PASSION)! Thought it through a bit more and I'm not sure that nows the best time really, a week before we go back home for christmas, is it really the best of times to do it? I wanna get it out of the way so I know but being away from each other for a couple of weeks can't be good if all goes to plan so early on!
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