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father figure or fanciable?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
god i havent visited this board for a while, but i have a bit of a dilemma, and it would be nice for a few opinions on it.

here goes!

i just started a new job and and man there who is about 47 works there too (who'll I'll rename as mr.b) anyway my boss is a bit of a prick and mr b is always there for me if i need any help with anything. he is totally the most genuine and decent bloke you could ever meet he goes out of his way to make sure im ok etc (but not in a slimey way), and I've instantly warmed to him. i think about him quite a lot and get a really weird warm feeling in my tummy when he's around.
I have always been attracted to older men, I take after my mother a lot, there is 14 years between her and my father and their still together.

But the point of this dilemma is I don't know if my feelings for 'Mr.B' are real, or I just feel secure because he's like a father figure. Me and my father get on fine, but we aren't that close at all and thats why im wondering if thats what it is.

I mean 47 is quite old but as I said before I normally am attracted to older men. this guy makes me laugh, he is really lovely and I have strong feelings for him, even though they came very suddenly.

What do you think?

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nonononononononononono!!!!!!

    this guy is a crush, like if you get a crush on a teacher, you dont know anything about him and the age gap is ridiculous...as you said, hes old enough to be your dad. enjoy the fantasy but leave it at that, and be glad that you get one with people at work.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, having heard Kermit's tirade, I would suggest you give it some thought and and maybe take little steps to test the water as it were. In the end age doesnt have to preclude the makings of a wonderful realtionship as long as youre both of legal age.

    Remember age gaps can be found in many cultures even here in the western hemisphere and many times the couples enjoy solid mutual caring and (dare i say) sexually fulfilling relationships.

    There is something to be said for the stability of a middle aged guy. They are far more ready to be family men than younger guys (on average) who still feel the need to put on an act to impress people.

    If it worked for your mother, you may be wired the same way and find exactly what you personally need in someone older.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It wasnt a tirade, it was sound advice I think.

    Im under the impression this girl is 16/17 years old, which would make this man three times her age. There is no way that they could have things in common with that size age gap.

    Of course, if she is about 30-35 then it could work, even though it is still a sizeable gap. Age itself does not bar a relationship, but certain things have to be considered...like what she will do when her partner needs to be put in a care home before shes out of her twenties.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she's under age then my advice above is of course unrelated to her situation. However, I distinctly said "..if both people are of legal age...".

    How many people get into relationships or more so fall in love with thoughts of the many problems which can come along? heck, if she marries someone younger she could still face major issues like eventual divorce, accidental death, disease, etc.. Life is full of potential problems but that shouldnt stop us from experiencing love if we've found it regardless of where it is found.

    So again, I would say don't poopoo the possibilities before you have a chance to put your feelings into perspective if there are no legal issues involved.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The age of consent is 16 in the UK, so who mentioned illegality?

    The fact is that a 17 yo will not have much in common with a 47yo, regardless of what spin you put on it. Hell be interested in her so he can shag a 17yo, and shell be interested in him because hes like a daddy. It wont work, if they want to go ahead then thats fine but the question was whether or not she should. And the answer to that, Im afraid, is not in a million years.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Trust me, doing a work mate is not the best idea you`ll ever have:eek:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mate just got fired for sleeping with a work mate!! It could seriously back-fire on you.

    Other than that, an age-gap should't really make much difference, but are you sure he's genuine and this isn't just a bit of lust??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    father figure or fanciable?

    Fanciable he may be, but he's more like a father figure.

    Not a good idea at all, he's too old and you work with him. :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Lord of Little
    My mate just got fired for sleeping with a work mate!! It could seriously back-fire on you.

    FIRED?!? I know they say dont screw the crew, but I didnt realise that you could be scaked for it. Mustve shagged the wrong girl. :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit


    FIRED?!? I know they say dont screw the crew, but I didnt realise that you could be scaked for it. Mustve shagged the wrong girl. :rolleyes:

    I think it was more the fact that they should have waited till lunch break;) :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit


    FIRED?!? I know they say dont screw the crew, but I didnt realise that you could be scaked for it. Mustve shagged the wrong girl. :rolleyes:

    Oooohhh, I wouldn't say the wrong girl.........

    ;)

    He was seeing her (Ms A) for a few months but kept it quiet at work and no-one actually noticed. Then he decided he was going to share a house with a different woman from work (Ms B), so he told her as it would've been really obvious anyway. Ms B then complained saying it was creating an "unprofessional working atmosphere", even though she had never noticed before and he volunteered the information!!

    Both Ms A and my mate went straight out the door.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with Kermit, you can't have too much in common with him can you?

    Although you might get on really well, you'll find that you have very different tastes. Just think, in twenty years time he'll be collecting a pension, and you'll still be in your prime! Will you find him attractive then?!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All this has been said already but just to reinforce.. Dont do it!!

    Age is NOT just a number. Can u imagine hanging out with this guy and mates of ur own age. Can u honestly say u wudnt feel just a bit silly?

    This guy may be cool at work if he sticks up for u or wotever but let it end there. If something did happen and it all goes pear-shaped work wont b a fun place to be!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know how old you are but having a 50 year old bloke trying to mix with someone your age well very unlikely to happen!!!

    My mates all go for older blokes and the amount of times ive had to scream at them to not go back once they've taken control and slap them about. But not all blokes are bastards (though in my current state of mind they are). You'll make your own mistakes as well as your pleasures so do what you think. Ignore everyone else if you really really think you want to make a go of it!!! :)
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