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How to stop moaning for chronic complainers
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel I am one of these people...a chronic complainer. It doesn't help that i have possibly more than my fair share of crap in life, but I know people who have a much worse lot than mine, and they don't complain anywhere near as much as me. I'm starting to feel I'm a bit of a whiner, and I've had a couple of people comment on it now (things along the lines of me not having anything positive to say and just bringing everyone down).
So even when everything is shit how can you stay up beat, at least when around other people, and not complain at least as much.
It sounds awful, but sometimes I find myself without anything to say if I don't complain about something
So even when everything is shit how can you stay up beat, at least when around other people, and not complain at least as much.
It sounds awful, but sometimes I find myself without anything to say if I don't complain about something
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If you find yourself with nothing to say other than moan, then maybe work out how you're spending your time as a starting point. Look for the simple things, my topic of conversation on Sunday was the Yorkshire puddings the canteen had with lunch - truly amazing.
Today has been truly rubbish, but the canteen had chocolate tiffin, so the answer to 'How's your day going' was 'There was chocolate tiffing at lunch, so not all bad'.
Tiffin! That's what I need!
A lightbulb moment. Thank you very much. *wanders off to bake*
I thought it was horribly false to just have a default reply of "fine" everytime someone asks "how are you?". Maybe there is a balance between that and saying "i'm a pile of shite, how about you?".
The tiffin example is a good one. It was pretty much the only bit of yesterday that was good in any way at all, and to the people who were actually up for a chat about stuff it was a good give away that everything else was not fine. To the passing pleasantries, it fitted in beautifully without me feeling that I was saying fine when things weren't.
Secondly, Scary Monster makes a great point about starting a conversation off identifying a small thing that's brought cheer to your day.
You might also want to consider some of the following:
If you know you're meeting some friends and it's expected to be a cheerful/fun social occasion then why not come on here, have a rant about anything that's really pushing on your chest with the aim of feeling lighter when you go to meet your offline buddies... if you tell us that's what you're doing, we won't love you any the less for it.
Also, although I'd be wary of keeping totally schtum, I think there is something to be said for taking the lead from others - if you feel you're on the verge of taking a conversation down a moany route, you could turn the convo away from yourself to hear about what others have been up to and see if they have any dilemma's you can offer your fine counsel on.
I'm also aware you're pretty opinionated in an interesting way... so perhaps consider what current affairs have caught your interest lately, find something to rant about that's actually quite amusing rather than moany and start to identify what you like about yourself so that you can use this as inspiration for positive conversations -
For instance, one example might be you're fond of your quirky style, so you could talk about what hair colour you're looking forward to having next (or something along those lines) getting opinions from others and what fashion's they're digging/hating on at the moment.
Anyhow, that's a few starters... and as before, part of the break through is acknowledging this trait for moaning, this means you're ready to take the next step.
Just finding it a bit difficult to stay positive when everyone is asking if I've found anywhere to live yet... thats something I can't stay very positive about right now. I just want to ball my eyes out whenever I think about it.
Isn't this meant to be the thread where you don't moan?
There's always a positive in your day. For example, mine today, despite the fact that I feel like utter, utter crap, is that I just had a really FIT sandwich.
Some days your positive might not necessarily be a positive, but a not-negative. E.g. "My pain wasn't so bad today", or "That issue sorted itself out relatively easily".
A moan by any other name would smell as moany!
Your moaning in an unalterable and irreversible phenomena?
And you're not happy unless you're moaning!
That's why you love meeeeeeeeeeeee