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telling someone (bf) about past depression etc

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Basically this has to be quick or I will be late for work.... woops. lol.

I met a guy a little while back, and he has now asked me to go out with him... thought that day wasn't coming... ha ha. I said yes :)

The thing is I really want to be open with him, as he seems to like me however i am... grumpy when ill, hyper, tired etc etc... it doesn't seem to matter. I want to tell him that in the past I have suffered with depression (which for the time being seems to have virtually disappeared). He has seen a scar which I dismissed with a reasonable excuse. How do I bring it up subtly? I don't plan on just blurting it out, more slipping it into a conversation. Has anyone ever had the same problem?

This will take serious balls! I've never done this before :/

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi purpledhaze,

    How nice to hear how happy you are that this guy has asked you out :)

    It seems like this is something you feel you need to tell him soon? A lot of the time perhaps it's about letting it come naturally and see whether it will come up while mentioning your past. But it's understandable you want to get it out the the way sooner rather than later - and be open with him.

    You say he likes you in every mood - so why not tell him you appreciate that and that you feel very comfortable and open with him too and therefore you want to share this with him? Any way you choose to tell him, seems like he will be supportive either way. Let us know how you get on :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with the above. He sounds nice and will probably appreciate your honesty and that you feel you can share it with him in the first place. Scars are tricky, my boyfriend noticed mine, assumed what had happened and chose not to say anything until I brought it up. If you are sharing with him though, I don't think you should feel guilty for not divulging everything. Just share what you are comfortable with sharing right now. When I told my boyfriend about some of my past mental health issues, my heart was beating really fast and I was so nervous so know it's a really nerve wracking time. Best of luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't do it. I know the longer I wait the worse it will be as maybe it will seem like if I can keep this secret maybe I have others too :(
    I also generally feel the happiest I have in a long long time. I am scared just when things are going ok, it will all come crashing down again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can you write him a letter? That might be easier for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm maybe. I guess I could write on so if I really struggle it will be a back up. I would rather do it face to face, but it's hard. I can't find the right moment
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if its not an issue currently, then dont worry about it. Its not a dirty secret you need to confess. if it becomes an issue in the future, talk about it then, or if it naturally crops up in conversation
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if its not an issue currently, then dont worry about it. Its not a dirty secret you need to confess. if it becomes an issue in the future, talk about it then, or if it naturally crops up in conversation

    :yes: I agree. If you seem to be in recovery at the moment (and well done, you, for that) then you don't need to feel like you're hiding something by not mentioning it.
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