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Unstoppable urge to self harm.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 17 and have self harmed on and off for the last 2 and a half years. The last time I cut was a month ago. In the last two weeks, my ex (who I have been close with since we broke up) has began to make it clear that he wants nothing to do with me, which he confirmed last night. I'm not handling this well at all. Thankfully I have an amazing best friend who is my world and I dont know what I'd do without him. But I cant burden him with this. He knows I cut and has always been super supportive. last night I was so close to harming, but my mum walked into my room. I was too nervous to go through with it after that. all day today however, all I've wanted to do is harm myself. I'm fed up of feeling empty, lonely and angry all the time. I'm scared of being around the people who care about me just in case I lash out and say something I would regret. I've been hurt by the one person who I trusted never to do that. I'm twitchy, edgy and constantly fidgeting. I need a release, but I cant afford another scar, another reason to hide. I need to be free 
and I'm finding it so hard.
and I'm finding it so hard. 0
Comments
firstly *hug* it sounds like you're having a rough time, breaking up is hard and although you wanted to keep this friendship it looks like thats not going to happen.
You're managing really well, nobody will sail through these kind of things without feeling crappy and lashing out at those closest to us is what we all do. Maybe you could mention to those close to you that you're having a bad time at the moment so that they understand any potential outburst?
Do you have any distraction techniques or anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling?
dp