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People are going.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
My best friend is going to uni in a few weeks and I'm really sad. She helps me forget, but she's going and to be honest, She's the only person that keeps me going.
Also, my counsellor has to stop working with me in a few weeks because I turn 18. Although I have a trust issue with her, I've realised I need her.
I just feel kind of.. done now. I don't know what to do.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you need to make sure your counsellor refers you on. I know it's not the same, but that has to be your first priority.

    I won't lie and say no one drifts off when they go to uni, but a good friend will still find some time for you even if it's less than before.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote: »
    you need to make sure your counsellor refers you on. I know it's not the same, but that has to be your first priority.

    I don't want anyone else :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get that it sucks but if you're not in a position to do without (that has to be your decision, of course) then you need to get a referral.

    Your next counsellor might be lovely, and you have no baggage with a new person so maybe you would trust them more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Took me ages to start trusting this one. I don't want a new counsellor, and I don't want new friends.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unless she's going abroad for uni, there are still weekends and holidays. Plus theres always skype!

    Make sure that your councillor does refer you on. Maybe even ask if there is a transistion team? Some places do have a team who help with the referals and transistion from CAMHS to adult services.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think this was more of a 'how do I get over them going' thread.
    I don't want a new counsellor.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unfortuntately, theres no way around this. I think you need to discuss how you feel with your councellor and your friend, but bear in mind, this is what happens as we grow up. I know its hard because I've gone through this kind of transistion too, but you have to bite the bullet and deal with it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't want to 'deal with it', that's what I'm saying
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I hate to say it but, tough!

    Unless you blissfully ignore it all until its all gone, you have to deal with it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right, well I'll just 'deal with it' my own way.
    Thanks though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talking about how you feel about it might be a bit more constructive...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Pointless, how would that help. They're still going either way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes they are but trying to see it in a different light might be helpful. Could you see it as an opportunity to make new friends? Maybe you get a councellor who you'll really get on with and be able to trust better. Is that possible?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No. I'll talk to people on Thesite, and I'll talk to childline sometimes, although I'll have to stop that soon too. Uh. Never mind.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think whilst I would miss friends too, becoming almost dependant on someone cant be good for your health.

    Using thesite isnt going to be the same as making the effort to make new friends and expand your social circles. I know the scary thing is not knowing what or who is out there when you feel like you are on your own, but thats the thing, you dont know that it is all bad. Think of when you met your friend or your councillor for the first time, after all there was a point in time when you didnt know them.

    Who says you might not make a new friend in the coming weeks and months who ends up being just as important to you as your current friend is now?

    Thesite is about helping people, and we cant do that if you are just dismissive to every suggestion, this situations is looking like it is going to happen, so shutting yourself away from advice will not change that fact. You are best being proactive and dealing with the situation now, rather than seeing how you get on afterwards.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Samaritans can be good, theres also saneline too.

    Is it that you feel you won't be able to cope without your friend and this particular councellor?

    What is it you are wanting? Do you want your friend to stay for you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    G-raffe, I'm not trying to be dismissive to every suggestion. I don't want advice on what to do. I'm saying I don't want anyone else, and just because people think I should make new friends, and I should get a new counsellor, doesn't change the fact I don't want to.
    Miss_riot, of course I don't want her to stay for me. I'm glad she's happy and she's doing what she has always wanted to do. But yeah, I feel like I wont be able to cope.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So theres an issue that you have become dependant on someone, which isnt healthy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's healthy enough for me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not when this person is going away, and you have felt the need to post this thread.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because I'll miss her way too much, she's always there whenever I need her and now she won't be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skype, email, telephone, facebook etc etc are all good ways to keep in touch. Just remember that even though she might not be there in person and might not be able to be there at the drop of a hat, doesnt mean she doesnt want to be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, I know she'll miss me too. It's just when she's there in person, it's like she's taking away some of the pain.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Time moves on, people move on, and things change.

    You may well find that you do much better than you think you will when your friend goes away. Whatever happens, someone going to uni really doesn't mean that they disappear from your life. Uni is very much a term time only thing these days, so your friends base will still be around your current area and it will be important to them to keep up friends at home.

    As for the counsellor, try and take a step back. You've got one currently that routinely works with children, and that you have a trust issue with. You're a young adult, and counsellors you definitely don't trust are generally a waste of space. It's a great opportunity for a fresh start to the counselling.
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