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Is it possible?...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
In today's society it seems that its expected that all women of working age are meant to be/do/have the following:

- a successful career
- a well kept house
- a good cook
- organised
- to keep fit
- to look good and fashionable
- to look after your money
- healthy
- do things for your community
- have time for friends
- have interesting hobbies

and so and so forth...

Is it possible for anyone to do that? Maybe I'm just feeling like I'm not a very good person but I'm not any of those things, and I kind of thus feel I am not of very much value to society...

Does anyone manage to do all of this and remain sane? Or at least some of it?

If so answers on the back of a postcard please!


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are those all things that you want to do? Many of those would not be on my list, I couldn't care less about being fashionable and good looking, how clean the house is or being a good cook - so long as it is edible.

    Some of them can be lumped together, like staying fit and being healthy. If you make enough money, you could hire somebody to clean and organize (or have children, I'm sure that is their purpose). Hobbies might include doing things for your community.

    I think what gets most people is that they feel like they don't have time to most of the things on that list, or their own list because of item number one. Many people think that a successful career involves working umpteen hours a week and spending all their time and energy on that, thus sacrificing anything else they want to do. It is all about balance, time management and whatever makes you happy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ive been thinking about this kind of thing, in particular the career versus housewife path. Im not a very ambitious, career minded person. As long as i have a job that i enjoy and can survive on thats all i ask. I think i'd actually prefer being a housewife with a little part time job rather than a full time working mum.

    I think though, like you say, people expect you to be ambitious and want to have a 'career', and now ive finished uni i am feeling a bit of pressure from people (family, friends, even regular customers at work) to go off and have this high flying successful career. Also i get the feeling that some people think if you choose to be just a stay at home mum then you're takng the easy way out and have no ambition to do anything worthwhile. Raising children imo is worthwhile though. I think that as long as YOU are happy with your lot in life and if not, can change things, then bollocks to what anyone else is doing
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think its possible to do everything for everyone... the most successful people I know have generally made sacrifices. I know some guys who worked hard at work and made a great career for themselves... but never ever date or do anything like that.

    I think the best avenue is to try and do what makes you happiest and fulfill as many of your dreams as possible...

    A good book I read on trying to get the most of your life and pursuing your happiness was Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy. He's followed other motivational and 'life coaches' and studied a lot and come up with instead of some crappy strange gimmick just some general themes and ideas that never hurt.

    Number one is to identify what matters to you and set a goal to work towards in that field :) whether thats finding fulfilling love or getting to the top of the career ladder... thats up to you. I hope it goes well for you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Interesdting List

    ... but where's love, or even lust? Guess they are (or at least the first one) what's most important to me.. particularly love of one's children/wife/partner.

    I'm a guy living by myself, recently made redundant, but i still have a flat tio maintain,and keep tidy for the boys to come round and mess it up.. and cook for them etc..

    So I guess i know where tyou coming from. And please don't mention religion. I am now a devout atheist!:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think its possible to do ALL of those things without burn-out. Thats a hell of a lot of pressure.
    most people prioritise out of those sort of things, but dont do everything
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel that this is the image portrayed to me by media/society that a woman of my age should be. somethings like looking after my money, being organised and keeping the house together seems like something that I should automatically be able to do at the grand old age of 21, especially considering I left home sometime ago.

    Maybe I'm just beating myself up a bit, because I've spent most of this week in bed with flu-y like horribleness and being constantly tired, on top of all my usual aches and pains, when all of my friends are off doing great things because they've just graduated and a lot of them have gotten jobs or at least are heading in that direction.

    I'm not sure I really have much direction...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    noone actually expects all that in real life though.

    I think most women concentrate on maybe 3 or 4 out of that list, if that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Miss_Riot I do recommend that book especially if you're feeling a lack of direction, hope you are feeling brighter soon with regard to the flu / aches and pains... take it easy this weekend!
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