Not sure how I feel about my best friend.

Former Member

I'm not sure if it's "love love" or not.
Like, she's definitely the one i care most about overall atm as I'm single n everything and we're amazingly close, i don't know if it's classed as normal or whatever but like we'd cuddle for hours and my head would be on her chest and my hands on/between her thighs and it sometimes feels a bit too weird, but don't take notice of it. And every time we sleep round each others houses we're always in the same bed spooning or cuddeling again. Also when we go to bed after talking on facebook or whatever we always say we love each other.

Sometimes feel like we're in a relationship lmao coz of these things. I dunno if it's normal ive nevre always had a best friend she's the first one and we've only been "best" friends for about a year now. And we've always been this close, even when she had a boyfriend but has just broken up now (not related to me, ive asked both parties)

Is it normal? It feels normal, not like we've done anything thats crossed any boundaries I don't think, just from what i've mentioned.

What do you guys reckon? x

Former Member

well, im very close to one of my friends... i know i love her and have done for ages, knowing she doesnt not feel the same made me careful not to do this sort of thing. however, we often say we love each other, and hug, hold hands walking down the road etc.

im sort of in your position, as she suprised me by getting herself an 'open relationship' and now has both a girlfriend and boyfriend.
i was immensley jealous of this other girl, and now i am convincing myself that perhaps she could be chanigng in her feelings about me.

but considering you are so close, it shouldnt hurt to talk to her. i admitted my feelings, and we carried on as best friends, and she felt no awkwardness. dont be afraid xx

Former Member

Aye, i don't think she does like me in that way, i might tell her in a little while when she gets over her break up. other views are most welcome too, from someone whos not in this position x

Former Member

if you dont expect anything that should be fine. in me experience, if your hoping something may happen, then dont wait around too much. but then your friend may not be anything like mine, as i say this is personal experience.

here to chat anytime you like

Former Member

doesnt sound anything like a friendship and much more like a relationship

Former Member

Indeed that's what I was thinking, only things that are missing I suppose are sex/sex related things and kissing and holding hands. I'm not sure what to make of it.

Former Member

It's unclear from your post, are you male or female?

Former Member

Oh sorry, i'm male.

Former Member

If you've never talked with her about having a relationship it may just be both of you are too shy. However it could also be that she needs a certain level of affection and knows she can get it from you without any danger of it going any further. If you do ask her about a relationship be prepared to hear that she would hate to lose you as a friend - that's a risk you'll have to take.

Former Member

I don't think she's looking for any sort of uncommited affection as it's the same when she had a BF so she got it off him :O

Former Member

quick update, we were cuddling in bed last night and playfully i circled my hand on her breast, well the nipple. lol. and then just started playing with it but she stopped me when i went to get them out. this situation is so strange.

Former Member

Hi there romansrevenge,

Like you say it does seem like a relationship but without sex or kissing. What needs to be thought about is whether you want more - and if you do whether you are willing to be honest with her about your feelings - and thus risk losing the friendship. Have a look at our article loving your best friend .

If you decide not to talk to her about this - or if she is not interested - it seems like perhaps the closeness could be used for you towards another girl? She seems to get everything she needs, without letting this be a committed relationship - while you might not be getting what you really want?

Think about whether this is something you are happy to continue with, as it is.

Good luck

Former Member

I've brought it up before, quite a while ago and she still had a boyfriend, i was pretty emotional one night for whatever and she said i dont see you that way and we continued being best friends really. But it's confusing me coz im not sure if i want more, i guess i do if im playing with her nipples lmao. but if shes letting me n that?

Former Member

Oh yea, I've been there. And when you tell them you have feelings for them, they look at you as if they have seen a ghost.

Either you guys are really bad at communicating or she takes you for the comfort of physical nearness and the feeling of being wanted/appreciated, when she needs it without hassle but leads relationships with other people.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

Oh yea, I've been there. And when you tell them you have feelings for them, they look at you as if they have seen a ghost.

Either you guys are really bad at communicating or she takes you for the comfort of physical nearness and the feeling of being wanted/appreciated, when she needs it without hassle but leads relationships with other people.

I'd understand cuddles in bed and that, but not random boob playing and stuff, it's like in between intimacy and friends with bennys.

Former Member

romansrevenge wrote: »

I'd understand cuddles in bed and that, but not random boob playing and stuff, it's like in between intimacy and friends with bennys.

yea, I know. But when the time comes for them to put out, they become squeamish. It's nice for some time, but it began to wear on me heavily, so I broke it off (after repeatedly trying to get her into a relationship).

Former Member

Aye i can see what you mean if i try put my hand in other certain places playfully she becomes protective, so it's like, eh?

Former Member

It's a carrot on the stick situation and no matter how nice it is, you will grow tired of it not becoming more. And as long as she gets what she wants out of it, you won't get any more.

Former Member

I don't think she would do that though, like "use" me for the closeness, don't think she's that type of person.