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talking to your gf

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok i know its been a while since i posted on here, guess thats coz everythings been ok recently.

so i watched corrie tonight.... watchign leanne bought back memories..
i miscarried last dec.. and have just realised i should have been due around now. and it got to me. bad.
so, since then ive come out and got a girlfriend, so ofc, i thought i could turn to her for support.
but, like a dude, im not always great at bringing this stuff up, so i tried bringing up that i was crying and could do with some suppport. Tbh im ready to talk about this.
but she started by bitching to other people how "i get shes upset but she should remember shes not the only one" and yeah i totally accept this, but- Say it to my face!

Now ive stopped talking to her , as i know how much of a bitch i can be :/
what should i do ???

sorry for the confusing little rant.


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have anyone else you can talk to about your miscarriage? Like another friend or sister or someone?

    Don't grovel to your girlfriend to get her to be more there for you, but on the other hand, not talking to her probably isn't the way to go about it. She shouldn't be bitching to random other people about you. And no, if you're upset about something as hideous as that, you don't have to remember that you're not the only one. You should be able to cry like the world is ending and she should support you.

    You need to talk to her. Talk about the bitching and how you don't like it. And talk about how you support each other. If she was in your situation what would you do for her? Think about it yourself before bringing it up with her - would you do anything to make her feel better or would you run a mile? Ultimately, a massive shouting match is a really good way to make things better. It just clears the air. Bottling it up by not talking to her won't make you feel better or your relationship any better either, it'll just make things stew, and you'll both be more inclined to unnecessary bitchiness towards each other (I know that's what I'm like.)

    (My personal opinion, your girlfriend sounds proper childish.)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello TryingtobeStrong :wave:

    Sorry to hear your girlfriend really didn't react in the way that you hoped, talking to other people about it in that way seems really insensitive :( As grace says, when you're ready the best way to resolve things is to talk it through with her, that is if you do want to work things out.

    Did you bring it up over the phone/text/face to face? It can help to talk face to face so that you get a real sense of how the other person is feeling. Email or text messages can often be read the wrong way or you might find yourself reading between the lines?

    If you feel ready to talk then that's actually a really good place to be, you've been thorugh a really difficult experience. Perhaps your girlfriend isn't sure how to support you or what she can do so letting her know what you need from her might help - a listening ear and some hugs might be all that she needs to offer. Equally if you feel like you need to talk to someone other than your girlfriend then that's worth exploring too.

    It sounds like you're both a pretty feisty pair so take a bit of time to cool off and then maybe arrange a good time to talk. Really hope it works out and you get the support you need, tv shows can certainly trigger strong emotions sometimes when it's something you really relate to.

    The Miscarriage Association offer email and helpline support as well as a forum which might be something you'd like to try as well: http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/how-we-can-help/

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People react really childishly to scary news. Has your girlfriend ever been with a man or been pregnant? Maybe she's scared that she doesn't know anything about what that might have been like and is assuming she can't support you and panicking. People can be really irrational but it tends to come all wrong.

    Hope this gets worked out. Having someone to talk this through with who's not your girlfriend (the miscarriage association would be a good start) might take some of the pressure off as well.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks everyone. i tried talking to her, over msn & text... we've been trying to meet up, an chat face-to-face but it seems that ten or more things get in the way everytime! :( as i said we talked ..... and i guess things are kinda sorted. im just really.. closed now. i just sacred to open up or ask for emotional support when i need it. which has been A LOT recently :/

    on top of that.. i met up with my incredibly long term best friend.. we are amazingly close despite not talking for months, we can just pick it up like we last spoke yesterday - that sort of friendship :)
    admittedly, i had .. feelings for her for a really long time. but i always knew she is trouble to date and i listened to her goon and on about guys and knew how boy crazy she is..or was. When we et up last night, i found out that shes in an 'open' relationship and now has a girlfriend. and to be truthful i felt this sudden wave of jealousy.. even tohugh i felt id gotten over her ages ago..
    Later on that night... we kissed... and i know it probably had no meaning to her....... but i want to go back for more. Im not sure that i have feelings for her, i just.. enjoyed it. And i havent a clue how i feel about my gf at the moment. im so so confused and feel so guilty :(
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