My relationship

Former Member

:wave:

Just wanted to write this all down to see if makes any more sense to me when written out. Not fussed about replies really, but feel free if you think you can help me

So I've been seeing a guy for just over 2 months now, and I really like him. Compared to previous relationships I feel like this just doesn't compare (in a good way!), but I still think there are problems.

I think it basically centres around two issues. The first being... I feel incredibly guilty for putting him through all the problems I've been having. When I was still at uni, he was so so supportive, and sometimes it did feel like he made everything better. I didn't want to allow myself to rely on someone that much, but I think at times I did let my guard down. There is the whole distance thing now, so I don't lean on him as much... but still he is there for me. He is having to make a big, difficult decision at the moment, and although we have talked it through, I don't think he is being honest with me about how it is making him feel, he just tells me not to worry, and to worry about myself instead. And he has so much more to deal with, most of which I can't help with in the slightest. Then there are the random times when I'm with him that I start crying because I feel like I don't deserve for him to be so nice to me, or I suddenly hate him touching me because I hate myself too much.

The second thing sort of linked.... I think he'll leave me because of this. Get fed up with me being depressed all the time, and find someone who can be happy and enjoyable to be around. I HATE being the insecure type and it just isn't the *real* me. I would hate to think that someone thought I required constant reassurance or that I was clingy or anything.

I nearly broke up with him because I didn't like how much harder I was making his life, putting him through so much unnecessary crap but he thought I was overreacting. I guess that despite how much I like him, I wonder whether I'm not fit for a relationship right now and maybe having a break would mean I was less likely to make him unhappy and/or ruin it for the future.

:chin:

Former Member

He's stuck this far, he'll continue to stick around if you let him. And that's the big if. You do deserve a good person to do good things with but accepting that isn't always easy. Having a break wouldn't make him feel better, it'd make him feel worse, and hopefully you will see and accept that sooner rather than later.

Be honest about your fears so that he fully understands what's going on. It'll help him to understand when you're being nasty or cold in a misguided attempt to get him to go away to save him from you.

Former Member

I think he sounds like a good catch. I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt here. Maybe he likes you for you and so is willing to deal with all the bad bits because they the come as part of the package?

There you go, that's the big thing. He likes you, and it's up to you whether you are willing (or able) to let him.

Former Member

Thanks you two.

I don't even know if he does like me though.... and well, I think I've just ended it. So :crying:

Former Member

*HUGS* let us know how it goes? on chat you said you were still talking..?

Former Member

I came off Skype... so not really expecting to hear from him. Meh, it is all so complicated, and sucks that we can't talk in person.

Former Member

Blerghhhh. He hasn't tried to get in contact with me. So :crying:.

I met some friends today but they took the stance "well he was obviously no good for you anyway" and well that sort of isn't what I wanted to hear (they don't know him) because I guess I'm sort of hopeful that stuff may happen down the line.

Just really going through the "everything reminds me of him" stage. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I'll get over it.

Former Member

If I didn't know better you were ending it to get him to chase after you, for him to prove he likes you, as though it's a test and if you push him enough he'll show his true colours and he won't like you. That's a really dangerous game to play. Not to mention stupid.

Why don't you contact him if you're regretting it?