Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

Dealing with the end of a relationship

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Yup, I've come back here because I need help. Feel bad about that.

Basically I'm no longer with my partner. There's no chance *at all* of getting together again, but there's no hard feelings, only fond memories. I'm not interested in discussing the details of the relationship ending.

But, what now? I can't remember life without him.

The way I feel now is that everything I did was related in some way to him. Even the things I did and kept secret from him I did to make life with his health problems bearable - I did them to stop me resenting him for not being able to do things, and kept them secret to stop him being hurt that I was doing things he couldn't join in with; even these things I wanted to do well so he would be proud of me, if he knew about them.

I have other friends, family and a few special people I love like family, but dear as they are, and as much as I'd miss them, none of them are my reason for getting up in the morning, for going to work, for keeping healthy, for staying sane.

What is the point of life if you are single and childless?

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It goes past man. You can't feel it right now, but similar to a dream that is still clear and vivid after waking up is nothing more than a blur hours later, because we are programmed this way. Memory makes the life pleasurable, forgetting makes it bearable.

    Chin up mate.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd compare the end of a long relationship to bereavement. In the beginning you wonder how your life will ever feel "normal" again without that person but over time it does get better. Cliche yes but true nontheless.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug*

    the only thing that will heal at all is time. You had been together for so long, this is going to be such a difficult time for you. Feel free to message me whenever you want, and youve got my number x
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Neddy wrote: »
    I'd compare the end of a long relationship to bereavement.

    :yes:

    The effect it can have on your life can be pretty similar. Don't feel guilty about allowing yourself to grieve.

    It will take time to rediscover who you are as an individual, but it'll happen in time. And you will be happy again.

    *hug*
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dealing with the end of my first long term relationship is still the hardest thing I've ever done. It's like bereavement only with bereavement usually you have other fellow loved ones also going through the same thing so there's often several of you in the same boat even if you do deal with it in different ways. With the end of a relationship it's much more personal and can feel like a very lonely experience as you're losing that one person you have a special connection with unlike anyone else. I honestly felt like I'd lost an arm when my ex left me. It's so hard but you will get there in the end, I never felt like I'd get over it but I did and it almost feels like it never happened now as I consider that an old chapter in my life. It will take time but it does get better in the end, everyone said this to me and I never believed them but it's true!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've done bereavement (in great depth), and it doesn't have much bearing on the specific aspects I'm having trouble with - although it is good general advice, so thanks for offering the suggestions.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What are the specific things you're struggling with?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    What is the point of life if you are single and childless?

    Being single and childless should not hamper you from 'living'. Perhaps we sometimes put too much emphasis on being in a relationship but there is a lot of living to do as a singleton, if you make an effort. Travel to exotic countries (e.g Thailand), learn some new skills (e.g. cooking), get started on writing that best seller that you know that you have in you, get some self-satisfaction and personal reward from doing voluntary work etc :)
Sign In or Register to comment.