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Coming quickly

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've managed to get my pretty head in a bit of a tangle - and it could make for an interesting discussion.

Is it just me that isn't overly bothered if a guy comes relatively quickly? Particularly if you get plenty of attention before/after/both. Always strikes me as a bit of a compliment, but based on the reaction you tend to get from guys when it happens that doesn't seem to be the approach.

Am I missing some key point?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've managed to get my pretty head in a bit of a tangle - and it could make for an interesting discussion.

    Is it just me that isn't overly bothered if a guy comes relatively quickly? Particularly if you get plenty of attention before/after/both. Always strikes me as a bit of a compliment, but based on the reaction you tend to get from guys when it happens that doesn't seem to be the approach.

    Am I missing some key point?

    Depends.

    If it was good, I don't mind. If they put effort in before/during/after then it's not a big deal.

    Sometimes I do like my sex to last a bit longer, but then at the same time, it can be kind of offputting sometimes that they can go for hours. And sore. Very sore.

    Then again, I spent a fair few years with my ex, who (probably due to the infrequency of our sexual relations) never lasted very long. It was seriously frustrating, but that was mostly because he insisted on trying to last longer by going slower when I wanted RAWR SEX RAWR.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's marketed as being a defining part of masculinity, being able to go and go and go like the Duracell rabbit. Hence men who come quickly tend to feel that they're a bit of a failure, that they haven't been good enough. If you've been with someone for years it's easier to get over it, but if you're with a new woman and you come quickly it's a bit shameful. It shouldn't be, but it is.

    It's a shame because it affects both sexes. I don't think most women care if they get enough attention beforehand- most women can't come through vaginal penetration alone, after all- but the man gets embarrassed. And then, conversely, if a man takes a long time to come the woman feels like a failure for not making him come quicker.

    People take different amounts of time to come. It depends on how excited they are, how long it is since they last came, how tired they are, how drunk they are. But do be gentle if a man comes quickly because he will feel very embarrassed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it wouldnt bother me although it might if it was all the time.

    It would also depend whether the act of him coming meant sex was completely over, which it normally isnt for us, so maybe whyn it wouldnt bother me
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wasn't in the slightest bit bothered, but the poor thing seemed massively embarassed. Definitely wasn't the end of the fun (which might have irritated me), and just didn't seem like a massively big deal. Plenty of foreplay beforehand, and I was actually quite pleased with myself being able to work some magic that well.

    Was starting to think it was a bravado type thing on being able to go all night, rather than me being a complete freak for thinking there was a compliment in it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My guy always says something along the lines of "I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to last much longer". I've explained that it doesn't matter, because he can last for a reasonable length of time and there is stuff before etc, but he still puts a negative spin on it :chin:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Should probably add, lasting milliseconds is another issue, but once we're beyond that. I think perhaps the male population need re educating.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not bravado so much as male pride. The stereotype is that men should last for hours, therefore if they don't they feel like a bit of a failure. Same thing applies if they can't keep an erection.

    It doesn't help that most men get their education from porn. Obviously porno stars go for hours and then spurt about four gallons of spunk all over the girl's face. Even though you know porn's fake, it's hard not to take some of it in.

    There probably is a compliment in coming quickly- it means he must have been really really excited- but only an implied one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends how well you know each other. If you plan to do it a couple of times in a night, that can take the pressure off him a little, so he knows he can relax and do whatever the first time. The second time he'd probably last longer, due to the reduced sensitivity and him being less stressed about trying not to come.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it was good, I don't mind. If they put effort in before/during/after then it's not a big deal

    This.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    skakitty wrote: »
    This.

    Same.

    So guys, if the above applies. Pretty please stop apologising and get on with the finger magic.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Finger magic? That's just tame.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Finger magic? That's just tame.

    what would you suggest then? ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    skakitty wrote: »
    what would you suggest then? ;)

    Personal preference aside, there has to be tongues. And touching in various other places. Teeeeeeasing. Like, little kisses right behind your earlobe.

    ....I miss sex :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didn't say fingers where.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    0_o eep.
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