Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

got no friends

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
During the last few years the amount of friends i've had have slowley decreased through moving, fall outs and loosing contact etc and now its got to the point i havent got any. Quite recently i left my job due to problems with my health and depression. For the past few months ive basicly done nothing but stay in and not socialise with anyone. As stupid as it sounds i've kinda forgotting how to mix with new people and find it hard to fit in, its not as if i havent tried but havin problems with my speech makes it hard and i allways get the impression that people think im a bit wierd or sumit when i do start talking. Its getting to the point that im thinking of what my life is going to be like in the next 10-20 years and wether im still gonna be a loner.
obviousley I cant see myself been the only person in this kind of situation and im just wondering if theres such a thing as a group or courses that i could go to which are aimed for adults with simular problems.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try getting back in contact with people you have not talked to in a while. Even if you have fallen out with someone, try putting things right, even if it wasn't your fall that you and the other person fell out. God loves a trier. Why not join a club, e.g. a sports club: tennis, badminton, football etc. etc.? That might get you making new friends. It might be hard, but once you know a couple of people, it will be easy making friends again. Trust me, I've been there.
    As for the problems with your speech, go to your doctor, they may be able to pass you to a speech therapist. I'm sure it would be worth a try.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there 23fromleeds,

    Sorry to hear you are feeling lonely. Meeting people can sometimes be daunting. Volunteering is a really good way to meet people who have similar interests as you - you could volunteer from arts to sports in your local area, there is a wide range.

    Have you been able to look for a job since having to leave the last one? This could really help you get back on your feet and keep busy thinking of other things.

    Perhaps you could also visit your local college and see if they do interesting adult courses you'd like?

    Feel free to keep posting, as you say many people are in similar situations *hug*
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its worth trying new things to socialise but you might have to accept that you live in the wrong place for making friends. Its a myth that anyone can have a social life in any town. Some places are just not right for you and you are better off coming up with an escape plan than trying to force yourself to fit in with people you don't fit in with.

    The best way and as from my experience the only successful way of making friends in the adult world is through friends. I'm not convinced that its possible to make friends from scratch when you're not at school or uni.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JanePerson wrote: »
    The best way and as from my experience the only successful way of making friends in the adult world is through friends. I'm not convinced that its possible to make friends from scratch when you're not at school or uni.

    I didn't find that. Since uni, I've made friends at work, church, wind band...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JanePerson wrote: »
    Its worth trying new things to socialise but you might have to accept that you live in the wrong place for making friends. Its a myth that anyone can have a social life in any town. Some places are just not right for you and you are better off coming up with an escape plan than trying to force yourself to fit in with people you don't fit in with.

    The best way and as from my experience the only successful way of making friends in the adult world is through friends. I'm not convinced that its possible to make friends from scratch when you're not at school or uni.

    Most of the friends I've made since school have been through work. TBH i have always found making friends through friends difficult. I've met plenty of people but very few of them have gone on to be my friends (assuming facebook doesn't count :rolleyes:)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe I've had some bad luck but I don't want to give the cliche advice of join groups and volunteer when it does not always work out. Its worth a try but its not a guarantee of finding friends despite what people say. I think its because the people I meet through friends tend to be people I have loads in common with. The people I've met outside of my friends tend to be people I have little in common with.
    Making new friends takes time and effort but there does come a point when you need to call it quits and move on.

    I think getting your confidence up would be a good start. Are you getting any help with your speech? That might make you less shy when talking to others.
Sign In or Register to comment.