i'm 30 and i selfharm :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi there people.I'm 30yrs old(although look younger) and i started self harming about a month ago.It makes me feel powerful when i do it,and after ive done it i feel better.What triggers it off?..................my "partner" being a complete+utter knobhead,he accuses me of all sorts,sleeping with other people,saying i never cared about caitlyn,that it was my fault she died,makes me feel really,really bad about myself,says some really nasty hurtful things to me about all sorts of things,plus i'm so not over the death of my daughter,she was 3mths old when she died neary 3+half yrs ago.The thing is though,i googled selfharm and alot of the places i looked at said its mainly young people that do it,so now i feel stupid as i'm 30,i have kids,yet i only started self harming like a month ago.All i do is cut up my arms real bad,my partner hid the razors as i find them the sharpest thing to use(plus all the knives/scissors in my place are too blunt anyway) but i bought some when i was out and i hid them from him.When i first cut myself i thought it'd be a one off,but past few days ive done it everyday,even did a little earlier,i feel like such a bad person for doing it,especially at my age,but its like its my only release from all the pain,hurt and anger i'm feeling.I just want to talk to others who are going through the same thing.
thanks :(

Comments

  • AuroraAurora Part of the furniture Posts: 11,713 Part of the furniture
    hi there people.I'm 30yrs old(although look younger) and i started self harming about a month ago.It makes me feel powerful when i do it,and after ive done it i feel better.What triggers it off?..................my "partner" being a complete+utter knobhead,he accuses me of all sorts,sleeping with other people,saying i never cared about caitlyn,that it was my fault she died,makes me feel really,really bad about myself,says some really nasty hurtful things to me about all sorts of things,plus i'm so not over the death of my daughter,she was 3mths old when she died neary 3+half yrs ago.The thing is though,i googled selfharm and alot of the places i looked at said its mainly young people that do it,so now i feel stupid as i'm 30,i have kids,yet i only started self harming like a month ago.All i do is cut up my arms real bad,my partner hid the razors as i find them the sharpest thing to use(plus all the knives/scissors in my place are too blunt anyway) but i bought some when i was out and i hid them from him.When i first cut myself i thought it'd be a one off,but past few days ive done it everyday,even did a little earlier,i feel like such a bad person for doing it,especially at my age,but its like its my only release from all the pain,hurt and anger i'm feeling.I just want to talk to others who are going through the same thing.
    thanks :(

    Hey, welcome to TheSite.org, weldone on reaching out to people on here. Lodes of people self harm you know, young and old, I know older people who do it and people at your age, loddes of people use it as a release mechnism to calm them selves down, what do you get from Self harm? I can understand where your coming from, seems like your parthner is putting a lot of stress on you, which has it's disadvantages, do you know how to look after your cuts, when you self harm?? Why not look around TheSite.org, their is a lot of infomation and advice on Self harm, hear out a fed that you may want to check out
    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/dealingwithurges

    You can find more here
    http://www.thesite.org/thesite/searchthesite?stage=1&keyword=sel+harm+&x=0&y=0
    Well I hope you find these helpful *hug*
    P.s - Your not alone ;) xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should go to your GP sooner rather than later. The faster you get help the more like you are to kick this thing.

    People of all ages self-harm you're not on your own.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,329 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You shouldn't get caught up on the whole age thing. It can happen with anyone but the media associate it with young people. it'[s not factual at all.

    What i'd warn you after me, self harming for almost 7 years, get all the help you can at this early stage. don't feel bad or embarrased about talking to a doctor. you need to look after yourself and be as honest as you can with the GP like you've been here. Sounds as if you really aren't over the death of your little girl.

    Please don't put off seeing a doctor- they may be able to reffer you to better people who can help. Keep posting as i want to know you are ok...

    BB x
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