Okay, so majorly messed up and in need of help!!!!!

Former Member

Okay, so my ex came into town, and well we met up and things happened. point is theres a chance i could be preggers. we used contraception and all but condom split. i dont know wht to do! i totally regret this. so bad! im in yr 11
oh yeah. and i have a bf tht i love so much! meaning ive cheated on him! i hate wht ive done.
someone, anyone help? please?

Former Member

Ignoring the bit about the bf for the time being, if you think there is a chance you may be pregnant I would go to the local GUM clinic, doctor or pharmacy for emergency contraception tomorrow (the longer you leave it the less effective it is). It's free from the GUM clinic and the doctors, but you have to pay for it at the pharmacy (and have to be over 16 for the pharmacy, but still cheaper than a baby!). See here for more info (from theSite).

With regards to the bf, I think you have to ask yourself why you cheated? Are you in an unhappy relationship? Are you not feeling like he is "the one" for you? The next step after that is to decide whether to come clean to him.

Also, if the condom spilt it would be a good idea to test yourself for STI's. Can't be too careful *hug*

Former Member

i cant. ive left it a week. and yes i know tht was stupid
i dont know why i cheated, alot has happened recently, ive been confused but im not unhappy at all, quite the opposite. im so happy with him. im scared im gunna lose him x

Former Member

Hmmm... maybe you should see when the earliest pregnancy test can be taken to either put your mind at rest or, if you are pregnant, then it gives you as much time as possible to think about the options.

I'm guessing you haven't told your bf what happened? From his point of view, I think it'd be wise to tell him, sooner rather than later. As the longer it stays hidden, the more angry he is likely to be. As for what happens with you both, I think you need to accept the consequences, even if you didn't mean for it to happen. It's a tricky one to advise on without knowing his personality and stuff.

Former Member

Wow, your love for your boyfriend sounds genuine. I wish I had a gf who loved me so much that she'd cheat on me.

Former Member

purpledhaze wrote: »

I'm guessing you haven't told your bf what happened? From his point of view, I think it'd be wise to tell him, sooner rather than later. As the longer it stays hidden, the more angry he is likely to be. As for what happens with you both, I think you need to accept the consequences, even if you didn't mean for it to happen. It's a tricky one to advise on without knowing his personality and stuff.

It's also better for him to find out from her than maybe her not saying anything, her telling someone and them telling him.
The sooner she tells him, the less likely this is to happen.

Former Member

I didn't mean to. sounds stupid I kno. We've got a lot of history. He manipulates people into the way he wanted. he wanted me weak. And he forced himself on me. Held me down. In the end i gave in. Not to temptation but to the strength he had over me.

Former Member

That sounds more like rape to me.

Former Member

I'm with Melian. That must have been a really horrible experience and this guy sounds like a dangerous piece of work.

Former Member

Looking4Help wrote: »

I didn't mean to. sounds stupid I kno. We've got a lot of history. He manipulates people into the way he wanted. he wanted me weak. And he forced himself on me. Held me down. In the end i gave in. Not to temptation but to the strength he had over me.

That's awful for you. When you're ready to talk about it there are loads of places where you can get support. Rape Crisis springs to mind. You don't have to call it rape if you don't like but what you've described is a form of abuse.

It is too late for the MAP but you should see your GP as PurpledHaze advises so that you can be referred for STI tests and pregnancy tests.

It might be an idea to find a way to talk to your boyfriend and explain to him what happened, just in case you turn out to be pregnant or whatever.

None of this is easy, well done for asking for help.

Skive

StrubbleS wrote: »

Wow, your love for your boyfriend sounds genuine. I wish I had a gf who loved me so much that she'd cheat on me.

Real helpful. Don't know if it has escaped your attention but this is primarily a board for advice.

**helen**

Skive wrote: »

Real helpful. Don't know if it has escaped your attention but this is primarily a board for advice.

It does beg the question...

Former Member

Strubbles seriously shut up, you dont know me, my life or anything! dont judge because if one day you're judged by someone you're not going to like it. if you knew me i might accept it.
i love my boyfriend and i always will. he means the world to me and i cant imagine life with out him. hes been there for me when the rest of the world left. when i walked out of my home he gave me a place to stay and he is not rushing me for anything one little bit.
if you cant accept that then please just go away. i want help for wht to do in my situation not verbal abuse from someone like you. i appreciate the help people give me. i know ive messed up, i said that from the beginning! i need help from the people here not verbal abuse.. how can i but this nicely.. got nothing nice to say bugger off!


i really to wana thank everyone whose offered advice. it helps a lot. x

Former Member

If you talk to your boyfriend, (which I think you need to do) please be honest with him. If he wants to ask questions, allow him to do so.

It may make it easier for you if you let him go to the doctors with you, if you were planning on getting a pregnancy or STI test done.