My dad has gone A.W.O.L :/

Former Member

My dad has left my mother and no one can get hold of him. I have not been able to speak to him in a week now and no one knows where he is (for around 3/4 days).

He is very unhappy and depressed and I am very worried about him. I moved to a different city a year ago and managed to get a job, friends, home and BF. Now my mother is alone and worried (and ill) with two big dogs. I have taken a few days off work to be with her right now. I think I will have to move back in with her, find a job in order to help pay the bills, house payments and look after the dogs.

I wish I could speak with him as he feels no one cares for him (this did not help that I moved away and he blames himself). I cant contact him as his phone is broken and none of his friends have seen him.

He told my mum that he wants to move away, be alone and start again in his life. But he smokes alot of weed (always has) and has paranoia and things like that. He doesnt want to speak to my mum but I thought he would at least want to speak to me? I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say to him (other than I love him and am going to move back to my home town to spend more time with him).

I know no one can answer this for me Im just really worried about him. Im worried about my mum too but at least she has support from family. How can I just wait for him to contact me? Its horrible.

Former Member

Call the police. If someone's mentally unwell and been missing for 3-4 days with no contact you should call them.

Former Member

:yes: Local hospital(s) might be a good idea too.

LauraO

Hi Patience,
Sorry to hear that your Dad has left home without making contact since. It sounds like you are being very supportive to your Mum right now, taking time off to look after her, which she will need, but make sure you look after yourself too.

As RubberSkin and Melian suggested you might want to contact someone about the fact he has gone missing, rather than just wait for him to get in touch with you. You can also contact Missing People on 0500 700 700 or via their website as they can be a great support to help you find someone who is missing, but also to support you and your Mum during this time. Our fact sheet on TheSite about Missing People might help you too, to weigh up your options and take some next steps in order to find out whether your Dad is safe.

Keep us updated, and hope you have some luck getting to touch with him soon.
LauraO

LauraO

Hey again Patience,
I am not sure if the number I gave you in the last link is definitely right. Here is the page on the Missing People's website for missing adults: http://www.missingpeople.org.uk/missing-people/missing-adults/24-hour-help and the number they give here is 0800 700 740 so it might be worth trying that one instead of the number I gave above.
Take care, and hope you hear from your Dad soon.

Former Member

Hey Patience, it would definitely be worth calling the police, at the very least for some advice. You can report someone as a missing person after 24 hours, so see what they suggest.

Former Member

He called me. He did not sound quite right. He said he would try to call again or try to see me. He said it in a way that suggested he was not going to do it.

Im glad he is okay (no idea where he is still) but I wish he would meet up with me to talk.

Im not really sure what to do in order to draw him out to want to see me

Thankyou all so much forthe advice. I was not sure about calling the poilce or missing persons as I thought they would have said 'hes a grown man who clearly wants to be alone' and that would be that.

I will keep missing persons in mind in case we dont hear from him soon again.

I wish there was something I could do to make it better for him but unless he contacts me there isnt much I can do. I doubt he would beleive me if I told him I cared any way. He doesnt believe anyone.

I said to him last night that he really needs to go to councelling and he agreed (though wether he will do it or not is another matter). I hope he comes home and goes to see someone, it would be such a help.

LauraO

Glad to hear he is safe Patience, and the fact that he has got in touch is really positive so I hope he gets in touch with you again soon.

Don't worry about Missing People saying that because it's why they're there, it's their job, and your Dad is clearly very down at the moment and you've mentioned he has depression as well which means he could be classed as vulnerable. They will just be able to advise you which might help, and it might make you feel better speaking to someone about it.

I hope he decides to see someone to talk to too, he'll have to make the decision himself whether and when he is ready, but you can try and persuade him that it is a positive step.

Take care,
LauraO