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I'm confused!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, here's a situation for you:

Say someone likes you, but they haven't told you this (you know they do via friends) and they ask you out for a drink.... what do you do? especially if they bring up the subject of dating ...

(for your info: you hardly know them (met a few times), but would be interested in getting to know them; but maybe as friends first/possibly more later down the line?)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you are single and want to know them better then there isn't a dilemma at all- go for that drink and see what happens.

    THe only problems arise when you don't like them!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ummmmm go on the date?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah but that's what I'm not sure about- they seem like a lovely person, but I didn't see them and think "wow" like it appears they did with me...

    (also last time people knew someone liked me, and I liked them in return they pushed us together a bit quick and it went downhill, and to this day I regret that as I still have feelings for them even though it will never happen, so I guess I'm kind of scared that could happen again)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah but that's what I'm not sure about- they seem like a lovely person, but I didn't see them and think "wow" like it appears they did with me...

    (also last time people knew someone liked me, and I liked them in return they pushed us together a bit quick and it went downhill, and to this day I regret that as I still have feelings for them even though it will never happen, so I guess I'm kind of scared that could happen again)

    Take it at your own pace, a drink is a drink and nothing more and nothing less.

    Get to know each other a bit, even if he's keen afterwards and it's maybe more of a slow burner for you, it can still go somewhere providing he doesn't fall head over heels too quickly and ruin the whole thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Take it at your pace and make sure that he knows what your pace is. Sometimes things happen as "wow!" and sometimes they're a slow burner, just see what happens.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As long as you are not deliberately leading them on when its definately not going to go anywhere there is no harm spending time with them and seeing how things develop.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok, thanks guys! Will let you know what happens... I've remembered now why I hate this "dating" thing.
    Scary times... I'm no good with signals, either giving off or receiving
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    went for drinks. I feel fucked. (not literally).

    I really don't know what to do. I actually talked to two people about it and both gave different advice and now I feel like this :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

    I want this to be easy. I don't know what to do, at all. I don't even know what I want, except maybe to sleep and not wake up for a few years.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi purpledhaze,

    Dating can be fun, yet it can be hard too, as you say;
    I've remembered now why I hate this "dating" thing
    Pre-date you seemed confused as to how to deal with him already liking you and you perhaps simply wanting a friendship, what happened after this date that has caused the :banghead: ? Did you like him? Was there some kind of attraction? Have you realised you only want friendship?

    Either way there is no harm in talking to other people to get some advice, yet it is important to go with your true feeling and
    follow your instinct :) At the end of the day it's your decision.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the :banghead: is sort of because of this... now he keeps texting me- and clingyness is a big turn off for me, i am so used to being independant and relying on myself so that's not helping. it makes me freak. also I don't know what I want right now, except I don't feel like I am in a place to make big decisions or follow my instincts as I am feeling vulnerable atm. I hardly know him, and think I would have to get to know him better, but I think any interest I take will be seen as me instantly being interested in him and then I won't be able to back-track if needed. I'm not sure if that makes sense?

    also, one friend said if i saw it as "just drinks" that'd be fine, the other said it will seem like I am interested in him and he will think that and it will add to him liking me... or something like that. I had a good evening though. I'm so confused by it all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    POSSIBLY TRIGGERING?

    I don't think really belongs in this thread anymore, but I don't really care, I don't want to start another one.
    I don't know what I want to do about this boy stuff, at all. I don't want to make a decision when I am feeling like this, because it won't be "me" making it and it needs to be me. I could seem keen, I could seem disinterested, but I don't know what to do. Every minute I think something different. I'm constantly tired, I'm unhappy and I don't want to have to think. I just want to get through each day without anyone noticing.

    I don't see why anyone would actually be interested in me, when I don't even like myself. I don't want to find someone because I would have to lie to them because the other option is to say the truth about how I am feeling and I can't do that. You can't have lies in relationships can you? But then again, I am at that stage where I want someone to know, because I can't cope with no one knowing anymore, but I don't want house mates or work to be the people to find out. I really don't know what to do. I'm scaring myself. :crying:
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