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Men and flirting

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, so I think I probably know the answer to this but just wanted to see what other people think.

What is it with men who flirt with women who are quite clearly already taken? In my work this guy is always totally 'flirt fighting' as I call it with the girls who are married or in long term relationships - i.e calling them names and stuff. Now, I don't fancy him so I'm not bothered but he would never do that with me or any of the other single girls. Is it because it's 'safe' - i.e there's no danger of anyone thinking there may be something going on between them or because it's a outlet that he knows won't be taken any further by the other person? Do men worry that if they do that kind of thing with someone who's single that that person might take it as a genuine come on? But then...if you're both single and that's how you feel, shouldn't that be what you want anyway?

I know this could equally apply to girls as well as guys, but it's only from this angle that I've noticed it.

GB x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i guess its the same with some girls who always go for married men.
    Some people get off on the idea they could take someone from their partner.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depends, sometimes I am a bit flirty with my coworker who is married. I am not attracted to her at all and she is in no point (looks, ambitions, etc.) on my radar, but I don't know... Nobody takes it serious. It lightens the mood and that's it.

    Maybe it IS more "safe" that way. I would not want anyone to think I am coming on to them, when this is not my intention. Not with all those oversensitive people around who file for a complaint if you make an ambiguous joke every once in a while.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is the man single or is he in a relationship too? If he's in a relationship then it will be because the 'taken' women are 'safe'. It's fun to flirt but the last thing you want is for the other person to think you're being serious. It's great to feel that someone else fancies you, but even better to know that nothing will ever come of it.

    If he's single, that could well still be the same issue, especially if he's so emotionally immature that he flirts by being mean. Throwing things at the girl you fancy is fine when you're 14 but not quite so good when you're 34.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People cheat all the time, having a "relationship" even marriage means nothing for a lot of people, IME especially women working in offices.

    So some people don't see it as barrier...maybe even a conquest.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is the man single or is he in a relationship too? If he's in a relationship then it will be because the 'taken' women are 'safe'. It's fun to flirt but the last thing you want is for the other person to think you're being serious. It's great to feel that someone else fancies you, but even better to know that nothing will ever come of it..

    He's single, but that's why I thought he might think it's safe because there's no way the women are going to take it as a serious come on whereas a single woman might.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In a sense he could not like rejection when he's a flirt, so he goes for married women knowing he'll be refused (or have it passed off as a joke) so his ego won't be damaged?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JavaKrypt wrote: »
    In a sense he could not like rejection when he's a flirt, so he goes for married women knowing he'll be refused (or have it passed off as a joke) so his ego won't be damaged?

    Yeah that's what I think it is!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i guess its the same with some girls who always go for married men.
    Some people get off on the idea they could take someone from their partner.

    ^ This. Its much hotter when you know you shouldn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But flirting doesn't necessarily mean that you fancy someone? Hell I flirt with people but it doesn't mean I fancy them at all. It just makes the conversation a little less mundane.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But flirting doesn't necessarily mean that you fancy someone? Hell I flirt with people but it doesn't mean I fancy them at all. It just makes the conversation a little less mundane.

    Flirting usually does come from some sort of attraction, otherwise its just affectation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But flirting doesn't necessarily mean that you fancy someone?

    It depends on what you mean by flirting and what you mean by fancying.

    I joke with the women at work, who are all 25 years older than me and married, but I wouldn't really say I was flirting. It's just joking about, they're playing and I'm playing. It's not flirting. The butcher I use is the same with the old ladies that are his customers, he's having a joke and a laugh when he says they're gorgeous and not looking a day over 21, he's not actually flirting.

    Flirting is a little bit more serious. It might be jokey but you're not joking. And then you only do it with people you're attracted to. It doesn't always mean that you would do anything with them, especially if they're taken or you're taken or both, but it does usually mean that if you were both single you would want to do something with them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I class flirting as physical contact (you know pretending to hit someone if they are taking the piss) or extended eye contact, sexual hints. Laughing or simply chatting aren't really too flirty in my eyes. But yeah I will only save the flirting I have mentioned above for the people I really fancy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends on what you mean by flirting and what you mean by fancying.

    I joke with the women at work, who are all 25 years older than me and married, but I wouldn't really say I was flirting. It's just joking about, they're playing and I'm playing. It's not flirting. The butcher I use is the same with the old ladies that are his customers, he's having a joke and a laugh when he says they're gorgeous and not looking a day over 21, he's not actually flirting.

    When there's such a massive age gap as that, I don't think it's flirting. I've told plenty of my grandparents friends jokingly that they don't look a day over 21 but no way in hell do I fancy any of them!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When there's such a massive age gap as that, I don't think it's flirting. I've told plenty of my grandparents friends jokingly that they don't look a day over 21 but no way in hell do I fancy any of them!!

    Well yeah grandparents is obviously not flirting. People in their twenties doing it with people in their forties is still flirty behaviour and it could actually escalate to something I guess..
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