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Men and flirting
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, so I think I probably know the answer to this but just wanted to see what other people think.
What is it with men who flirt with women who are quite clearly already taken? In my work this guy is always totally 'flirt fighting' as I call it with the girls who are married or in long term relationships - i.e calling them names and stuff. Now, I don't fancy him so I'm not bothered but he would never do that with me or any of the other single girls. Is it because it's 'safe' - i.e there's no danger of anyone thinking there may be something going on between them or because it's a outlet that he knows won't be taken any further by the other person? Do men worry that if they do that kind of thing with someone who's single that that person might take it as a genuine come on? But then...if you're both single and that's how you feel, shouldn't that be what you want anyway?
I know this could equally apply to girls as well as guys, but it's only from this angle that I've noticed it.
GB x
What is it with men who flirt with women who are quite clearly already taken? In my work this guy is always totally 'flirt fighting' as I call it with the girls who are married or in long term relationships - i.e calling them names and stuff. Now, I don't fancy him so I'm not bothered but he would never do that with me or any of the other single girls. Is it because it's 'safe' - i.e there's no danger of anyone thinking there may be something going on between them or because it's a outlet that he knows won't be taken any further by the other person? Do men worry that if they do that kind of thing with someone who's single that that person might take it as a genuine come on? But then...if you're both single and that's how you feel, shouldn't that be what you want anyway?
I know this could equally apply to girls as well as guys, but it's only from this angle that I've noticed it.
GB x
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Comments
Some people get off on the idea they could take someone from their partner.
Maybe it IS more "safe" that way. I would not want anyone to think I am coming on to them, when this is not my intention. Not with all those oversensitive people around who file for a complaint if you make an ambiguous joke every once in a while.
If he's single, that could well still be the same issue, especially if he's so emotionally immature that he flirts by being mean. Throwing things at the girl you fancy is fine when you're 14 but not quite so good when you're 34.
So some people don't see it as barrier...maybe even a conquest.
He's single, but that's why I thought he might think it's safe because there's no way the women are going to take it as a serious come on whereas a single woman might.
Yeah that's what I think it is!
^ This. Its much hotter when you know you shouldn't.
Flirting usually does come from some sort of attraction, otherwise its just affectation.
It depends on what you mean by flirting and what you mean by fancying.
I joke with the women at work, who are all 25 years older than me and married, but I wouldn't really say I was flirting. It's just joking about, they're playing and I'm playing. It's not flirting. The butcher I use is the same with the old ladies that are his customers, he's having a joke and a laugh when he says they're gorgeous and not looking a day over 21, he's not actually flirting.
Flirting is a little bit more serious. It might be jokey but you're not joking. And then you only do it with people you're attracted to. It doesn't always mean that you would do anything with them, especially if they're taken or you're taken or both, but it does usually mean that if you were both single you would want to do something with them.
When there's such a massive age gap as that, I don't think it's flirting. I've told plenty of my grandparents friends jokingly that they don't look a day over 21 but no way in hell do I fancy any of them!!
Well yeah grandparents is obviously not flirting. People in their twenties doing it with people in their forties is still flirty behaviour and it could actually escalate to something I guess..