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Why do men shout at women in the street?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12771938
From whistling to catcalling, and even groping, street harassment is an everyday reality for many women around the world. But now a new wave of feminist groups are organising to stop it.

Obviously the moral of the story is that it isnt a terrible good idea to hit someones car if you dont want to antagonise them, and i dont mean their resultant actions are justified either.

Thing is, dickheads who openly shout at women in the street are I would say more of the exception to the rule. It might happen a lot, but of all the people i see passing in the street every day, it cant happen all the time?

I honestly dont know what to think about the story.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know if I'm being harassed or not anymore because I always listen to my music when I go out, it saves me the bother. The last time I can remember it happening, I was at a restaurant and a guy (among his boyfriends) was wolf whistling at me and wouldn't stop - that was until my boyfriend joined me at the table, and suddenly Don Juan and the others dropped the act and promptly left.

    Although thankfully, until I started listening to music when I was out and about, the street harassment had started to dwindle by the time I reached my mid-twenties. Most of it happened when I was underage (and usually in school uniform) and the guys weren't my peers - they looked like they were well into their thirties.
    Thing is, dickheads who openly shout at women in the street are I would say more of the exception to the rule. It might happen a lot, but of all the people i see passing in the street every day, it cant happen all the time?

    Meant in the least patronising way possible, I have a lot of male friends who think the same i.e. they wouldn't catcall etc if they see an attractive woman, they'd enjoy the view but do nothing to try and intimidate them (which is how I see it - I've had some lovely compliments come my way from strangers, I'm smart enough to know the difference between that and 'show us your cunt, love') and yet because they don't do it, or don't know anyone who would do it, they think it's a very rare occurrence
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote: »
    Meant in the least patronising way possible, I have a lot of male friends who think the same i.e. they wouldn't catcall etc if they see an attractive woman, they'd enjoy the view but do nothing to try and intimidate them (which is how I see it - I've had some lovely compliments come my way from strangers, I'm smart enough to know the difference between that and 'show us your cunt, love') and yet because they don't do it, or don't know anyone who would do it, they think it's a very rare occurrence

    Yep this. I think its a totally different experience walking down the street for men and women and for guys, if you're not in that crowd that likes to yell at women, you just dont know it goes on. I wouldnt say it happens to me all the time, it depends on how revealing my clothes are on that day. I'd say probably 50% of the time I get stuff yelled at me and another 20% its just a cheeky glance (i dont see that as harrassment although some might)

    I agree with what the article says, most of the time it is just for men to try and prove to their mates that their dicks bigger
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with what the article says, most of the time it is just for men to try and prove to their mates that their dicks bigger

    Yep :yes: it has always been with a guy among a group and I've always been alone
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I fail to see how effective starting a group like this can be though? And why is it only happening now? Sure this has been going on for many a year and the group is making some people believe the situation is getting worse, when its probly just the same as it has been for a long time.

    More effort should be put on getting guys done for harassment.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its happened to me several times, mostly when i was younger, and its so so horrible
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its happened to me several times, mostly when i was younger, and its so so horrible

    Same here. I thankfully don't get it any more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i remember being shouted at that i had "nice biblicals" and then as i walked past, they shouted "FAT ARSE"

    i mean wtf

    are these people even human?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I no longer go out clubbing without a male friend, because otherwise its horrible experience. It feels totally demeaning that I have to look to a man for protection from other men's letcherous behaviour.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    I no longer go out clubbing without a male friend, because otherwise its horrible experience. It feels totally demeaning that I have to look to a man for protection from other men's letcherous behaviour.

    How sad. :(

    I've had it once - to make it slightly worse, it was at school and I was only 14 / 15. Some people really have no shame.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It used to happen to me loads when I was a teenager, not so much now. On quite a few occasions I've had cars slow down so men can leer at me and no end of stuff shouted at me in the street. It's completely innapropriate and intimidating. I don't find it flattering at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a car full of women slow down and shout sexually explicit things at me a couple of days ago. It gave me a boner.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a car full of women slow down and shout sexually explicit things at me a couple of days ago. It gave me a boner.

    :thumb:

    Edit: Just so you know, im not liking this because you had a boner. Im not liking your boner. Im liking the comment as a whole ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesn't bother me, generally because it hardly ever happens to me :p

    Although I am constantly walking around with my headphones in so wouldn't hear if it did anyway :rolleyes:

    On nights out I might get it but I give as good as I get and that soo shuts them up...the only thing that annoys me is the groping. Men who think it's okay to pinch my bum. Really it's not, please remove your skanky hand from my ass :yeees:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate hate hate this... I wear headphones in the area I live, so men will leave me alone... My flatmate doesn't feel comfortable going out after dark because of men making comments, following women, trying to talk to them after dark...

    I don't get why some men do it. I have had men try to stop me in the street to talk to them, three men getting verbally aggressive because I wouldn't stop, I have had sexual comments, men walk behind me trying to chat because gee... At ten thirty on a Sunday night, I really want a conversation with a man I don't know in he street.

    It wouldn't surprise me if the woman who was getting harassed in South London, was in Tooting. It's common place here.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had a car full of women slow down and shout sexually explicit things at me a couple of days ago. It gave me a boner.

    Ha ha. Men and women really are very different.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Calvin wrote: »
    Ha ha. Men and women really are very different.

    Yeah, women (as a generalism) aren't intimidating in the same way and don't tend to be as aggressive in this manner.

    Blokes embarrass me at times. This behaviour ins't cool or clever, it certainly isn't attractive. It's the kind of knuckle dragging Neanderthal thing I'd expect in a 70s sitcom.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, women (as a generalism) aren't intimidating in the same way and don't tend to be as aggressive in this manner.

    Blokes embarrass me at times. This behaviour ins't cool or clever, it certainly isn't attractive. It's the kind of knuckle dragging Neanderthal thing I'd expect in a 70s sitcom.

    I think it makes some men look pathetic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The thing I find when I get beeped or yelled at or whatever is that first of all it makes me feel really self-conscious, before anything else. Especially if I'm wearing a skirt, which I rarely do anymore for exactly that reason.

    I was wearing a dress yesterday and on my way home on the train, several guys were just staring at me. I went to a gig last weekend and the person I went with told me that a guy there was staring at me as well. It makes you feel so uncomfortable and like you're doing something wrong even.

    Fortunately I don't get beeped/yelled at often any more, but when I was still in school I used to get it all the time because they were still building along the path I take the dogs down. It's not flattering, it's actually almost the opposite, and I used to just walk along with my head down to try and avoid drawing attention to myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to get groped on London transport and I'm sure it contributed to my anxieties. Because I have weight issues anyway I was sure they were just being sarcastic to make me feel worse and so it did.

    It's really threatening as well, I once had a group of men follow me down a road in Bethnal Green yelling at me to show them my tits and when I didn't respond they surrounded me for a while and called me a fat, ugly cunt.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats another thing annoys me about guys. One minute they're all over you but the second you reject them suddenly your ugly and fat and slut when you were attractive two seconds ago :banghead: :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Thats another thing annoys me about guys. One minute they're all over you but the second you reject them suddenly your ugly and fat and slut when you were attractive two seconds ago :banghead: :rolleyes:

    Well, you had a good intuition to reject them then. I find this behavior stupid and unacceptable too. They can't accept 'defeat' and have to resort to this means to feel better about themselves.

    I remember two people posting about being down about being called names after rejecting someone when the guys were all over them just a minute ago. I mean, how can you become upset? They are just trying to drag you down to their level of disappointment with untrue things to say, because how can they be serious when they wanted you a second ago?

    To me an insult is something that hits where I think I have a weakness and they found it. When someone calls me something I know just can't be true but is just made up to try to upset me, it can't upset me.

    Anyway, sorry for derail.

    On Topic: Assholes will be assholes, don't hate men because they are ALL misogynistic, sexist scum. TA.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did once have someone attempt to chat me up and it was rather inappropriate. What made it worse, was that there was no-one else around. (this was daytime, btw)

    I really don't understand at all why people think it's ok to do things like this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    I did once have someone attempt to chat me up and it was rather inappropriate. What made it worse, was that there was no-one else around. (this was daytime, btw)

    I really don't understand at all why people think it's ok to do things like this?

    To be fair, I see no problem with getting chatted up amicably at daytime. Whatever adheres to "inappropriate" can be totally subjective like being a shy creep who thinks everyone who verbally addresses a stranger in public is a mugger or rapist.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When it's late at night and a man won't leave you alone or is making creepy comments, how do you know he's not a rapist?

    I don't think women and men should be segregated, but some men should be aware that when they behave in a certain way in public, they can be seen as a danger by some women. We live in a culture that often sees women as being blamed for being raped, if we flirt, dare to wear a short skirt, or have a drink (according to the survey by Amnesty International in 2005, which probably, most people remember)...

    I've had a look for rape statistics... But I actually am finding them fairly scarce... I mean is there not a lot of research done for this or am I going mad?

    I've found one here which estimates between 47,000 - 100, 000 women are raped, or sexually assaulted every year!

    If a guy thinks it funny to holler, follow or make pervy comments, he could be deemed intimidating, or upsetting. He doesn't know that the woman has not experienced sexual violence...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To echo what Namaste said....It's really hard not to be weary, the last guy that randomly chatted me up on the street in the middle of the day ended up spiking my drink and trying to assult me in a graveyard. It really does wreck your confidence and although I'm sure most of these stupid comments/actions men do are them just behaving like neanderthals rather than malicious, if you've had a bad experience in the past like I have then it can be extremely scary. I just think these men should be more considerate and think before they try and humiliate a girl for the sake of their ego.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well. I know what these feminist groups willl do. They will start harrasing all guys. I approach many women in the street by I don't shout. I act serious and mature...is that a crime according to them?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    zgoditak wrote: »
    I approach many women in the street by I don't shout. I act serious and mature...is that a crime according to them?

    No, shouting "show us your tits love" is.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    No, shouting "show us your tits love" is.

    Exactly. It does depend on what and how you say things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    zgoditak wrote: »
    Well. I know what these feminist groups willl do. They will start harrasing all guys. I approach many women in the street by I don't shout. I act serious and mature...is that a crime according to them?
    This is a shame...

    Rather than read about and listen to the experiences of women, you speak for them and are flippant about how serious the issue of rape is.

    No wonder some women don't feel comfortable going out after dark, if there are men out there, who are so quick to trivialise their experiences.

    I don't know of any feminist groups who will harass men in the streets.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    zgoditak wrote: »
    Well. I know what these feminist groups willl do. They will start harrasing all guys. I approach many women in the street by I don't shout. I act serious and mature...is that a crime according to them?

    Many women (including myself) don't approach men like that.

    It depends how you act and what your intentions are. I had 2 men (different times) approach me the week before last. Their intention was to help me and not harass me.
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