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walking home.. *could be triggering*

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
They want me to stop
And so do I
to some extent

So i try not to cut
bite or punch
any walls.
But its hard

Sometimes instead
I'll go for a walk
have a shower or bath
but it dont always work.

I go out wearing little
in the bitter winter.
As the cold stings my skin
I feel a little...
smile of satisfaction
creep across my face

I cross the road
don't look or listen
let any cars come
I don't care
But leave it to fate
So then they can't blame me

Another road! Another road!
I step out and think
Please fate, please
Just make me happy
Just this once
You can't do it twice afterall.

But, of course, i make it
Why should i be happy?
Or get what i want?
Just keep making me suffer
As home looms ever nearer.

As i walk in
My sisters smile of joy
her pure happiness
greets me.
I need to be here,
I have to be
For her.

So why do you torture me?
I feel so bad
that sweet girl,
my amazing sister
with such a weak ally
in this cruel, cruel world

I want to help her
give her an ally
so she won't go down
My Road

At least im not alone
I still have the voice.

This is just something that flew threw my mind whilst walking home.
Ive been struggling to understand what iv been feeling lately, and this is just a way for me to get it all out.
Thanks for reading (: x
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