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thats so gay

SystemSystem Posts: 8,649 Staff Team
does it bother you when people use terms like this?

Do you think its problematic, or am i getting annoyed over nothing?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope, I hate it. Almost as much as I hate the word 'retarded' used as a substitute for stupidity.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't hate it, but it does feel like a little bit of the world has died every time someone says something like that.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,182 Skive's The Limit
    G-Raffe wrote: »
    I don't hate it, but it does feel like a little bit of the world has died every time someone says something like that.

    It used to mean happy. Words evolve and theres no stopping it.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understand it used to mean happy. However surely it has to be the intent that is taken into considerations.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Depends how people casually use it.

    If they mean something's camp, like if a someone asks if you like his new pink shirt, and you say 'hmmm, it's a bit gay', then it wouldn't offend me, even though I suppose it is still a dodgy use of the word, but when people use it as a synonym for rubbish or stupid then it makes me cringe.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    It used to mean happy. Words evolve and theres no stopping it.

    Indeed. At one stage before that, a 'gay' woman was a prostitute, a 'gay' man a womanizer and a 'gay' house a brothel.

    The joys of language. smile.gif For instance, the term 'girl' has changed. Boys were referred to as 'knave girls' and girls as 'gay girls'. 'Girls' was just a term for a child.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its not about language naturally evolving in this instance though is it.
    You could say that language evolved when it changed from meaning happy to meaning homosexual, because the original meaning became redundant, whereas now, its just being used as a metaphor for pathetic/sad/crap/bad/rubbish/negative, whilst still retaining the actual meaning of homosexual.
    I cant see how this is anything other than problematic for children growing up and their first knowledge of what gay means, is an insult and that it means such negative things
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is needed.

    Incidentally, when I was in school, it was definitely used as an insult in a literal sense, not just as a substitute for bad.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant see how this is anything other than problematic for children growing up and their first knowledge of what gay means, is an insult and that it means such negative things

    I agree. Alot of people probably dont realise what theyre saying but for anyone who's struggling with their feelings or trying to come out as gay its not helping them when 'gay' is used as an insult for stupidity
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't like it, in the sense that there are so many other words in the language which would be better to use.

    However, I also don't think that it's any indication of homophobia. Most of the teens (because it's mainly teens) using it don't even realise that connotation. Having said that, it's pretty obvious that this is where it stems...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is needed.

    Incidentally, when I was in school, it was definitely used as an insult in a literal sense, not just as a substitute for bad.

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Almost as much as I hate the word 'retarded' used as a substitute for stupidity.

    and because the word 'retard' has been hijacked from it's true meaning to be an insult people get grumpy when it's used in psychology and psychiatry, where it is NOT a substitute for stupidity, and where there really is no other word to describe the condition it represents.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote: »
    and because the word 'retard' has been hijacked from it's true meaning to be an insult people get grumpy when it's used in psychology and psychiatry, where it is NOT a substitute for stupidity, and where there really is no other word to describe the condition it represents.
    :yes:.

    I hate when people are all, 'omg you can't call them that!' Because that's what it MEANS. What it DOESN'T MEAN is 'stupid' or 'idiotic' (or any other synonym), and it bothers me that I have to EXPLAIN why I find the word being used in that context to be massively fucking offensive. And that even when I DO explain, people STILL DON'T GET IT.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kaff wrote: »
    Depends how people casually use it.

    If they mean something's camp, like if a someone asks if you like his new pink shirt, and you say 'hmmm, it's a bit gay', then it wouldn't offend me, even though I suppose it is still a dodgy use of the word, but when people use it as a synonym for rubbish or stupid then it makes me cringe.
    This. It is more than simple evolution of language, it's an attitude.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote: »
    This. It is more than simple evolution of language, it's an attitude.
    Yup
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes:.

    I hate when people are all, 'omg you can't call them that!' Because that's what it MEANS. What it DOESN'T MEAN is 'stupid' or 'idiotic'

    So what does it mean?

    I thought retardation was defined as having an IQ of less than 70, i.e. subnormal intelligence, and has been replaced with the term "learning disability" or such like. Stupid, idiotic and retarded surely have the same, or similiar meanings?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes:.

    I hate when people are all, 'omg you can't call them that!' Because that's what it MEANS. What it DOESN'T MEAN is 'stupid' or 'idiotic' (or any other synonym), and it bothers me that I have to EXPLAIN why I find the word being used in that context to be massively fucking offensive. And that even when I DO explain, people STILL DON'T GET IT.

    Doesn't the word "idiot" have exactly the same roots? And moron? And imbecile? I suspect in the coming years, retarded will just be another to add to the list, and genuinely mentally ill people will be referred to by yet another name. It seems to me that people are always going to use disabilities in this way. How many times have you been asked, "are you blind?" when you've missed something really obvious or, "are you deaf?" when you didn't hear?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find those adverts with the celebrities more annoying over someone saying something is gay. Mainly because it uses another insult to get their point across. Normally it doesn't bother me, its all about context and how it was said.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote: »
    So what does it mean?

    I thought retardation was defined as having an IQ of less than 70, i.e. subnormal intelligence, and has been replaced with the term "learning disability" or such like. Stupid, idiotic and retarded surely have the same, or similiar meanings?

    learning disability is much more appropriate to use these days than retardation surely?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As far as I know retardation means something slowing down. For example, psychomotor retardation can happen in severe depression, which is the marked slowing down of speech and activity to such an extent it affects the individual's life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah but while it wouldnt be offensive to say someone was suffering from psychomotor retardation, it WOULD be offensive to say they were retarded or were a retard
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Doesn't bother me at all, I sometimes use the "that's gay" expression to describe something I consider to be pointless. I don't mean it to imply homosexuality. The word has evolved (just as it was originally evolved from meaning 'happy and carefree') and people need to remember this.

    My OH is British/Indian, I'm around a lot of Indian and Pakistani peiople a lot, if I do or say something stupid or 'square', they say "Stop being so white'. I understand that apparently all homosexuals have suffered homophobic abuse at some time of their lives but they need to realise it's not always aimed that way. If people want to call me a "white, bald Taffy" then so be it - because I am.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    MoK wrote: »
    I don't like it, in the sense that there are so many other words in the language which would be better to use.

    However, I also don't think that it's any indication of homophobia. Most of the teens (because it's mainly teens) using it don't even realise that connotation. Having said that, it's pretty obvious that this is where it stems...
    I think I agree with this. While English isn't my primary language, whenever I've seen the word "gay" used for something that's "bad" or "stupid" or whatever I've never got any indication that the speaker had homosexuality in mind.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is the fact that it was originally used with homosexuality in mind, and that people are ignorant to that and use it regardless, that is what bothers me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    learning disability is much more appropriate to use these days than retardation surely?

    Probably...although putting dylexic people in the same category would be offensive to many, this does seem to happen. I remember people at school with mild dyslexia getting mocked for having learning disabilities as a result.

    Some terms maybe more or less offensive but the meanings are generally the same.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah but while it wouldnt be offensive to say someone was suffering from psychomotor retardation, it WOULD be offensive to say they were retarded or were a retard

    exactly. generally when the word 'retarded' is used by a medic they are talking about extremely low intellect, and they wouldn't say 'your child is a retard' but they might list it as a clinical symptom. it's not a very pleasant sounding word it's true.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dyslexia isnt a learning disability, its a learning difficulty
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that if you're not careful you can end up taking offence at everything, which makes the whole idea of offence quite meaningless. Beyond that, I think it comes down to personal taste about what insults/terms are very unpleasant and which terms are less so.

    I think calling someone retard or special is not offensive, but calling them a spaccer is offensive. Making jokes about Down's, as one charming poster did the other week, is 100% Not On. Racist words are always wrong, but equally where do you draw the line on racism? Words like 'pikey' are now used on a regular basis to mean anyone who's a bit unsavoury or a bit sticky-fingered, and I've been known to be nasty about the Fake Ronaldo's parentage.

    You have to take a lot of the words used in the context in which they're meant. Sometimes you say things without thinking, sometimes you use insults deliberately to offend, and sometimes it's a bit of both.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,182 Skive's The Limit
    Racist words are always wrong, but equally where do you draw the line on racism? Words like 'pikey' are now used on a regular basis to mean anyone who's a bit unsavoury or a bit sticky-fingered, and I've been known to be nasty about the Fake Ronaldo's parentage.

    Pikey is an as offensive term to travellers as Nigger is to black people.
    It's racist.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I completely agree that it is, but many people who use it don't use it in a racist way. They genuinely seem to think that it just means someone a bit unsavoury. If that makes any sense.

    I don't like the word at all and will tell people off who use it.
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