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Boyfriend Won't Go Down
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My boyfriend of almost a year has never seemed to like going down on me. I would practically have to shove him down in that direction and even then, he'd make a face as if it were the worst thing he could possibly do. I couldn't figure out why this was, since I'm always shaved down there and keep it clean with daily showers.
I, however, go down on him every single time. I don't particularly like the act itself (it still kind of grosses me out), but I don't do it for me: I do it because it clearly pleases him, and I love the reaction to be honest.
So the other day I tried to bring the subject up; I asked if he was maybe uncomfortable going down because he wasn't confident in his skills. His only response was to laugh like that was a ridiculous question and said, "I'm not scared of it, it's just completely gross!"
So I asked if there was anything I could do to make him want to do it, ie. showering right before, etc. All he said was, "Nope, wouldn't make a difference, it's still gross in general."
I asked him why he thought girl-going-down-on-guy was any less gross, and he agreed with me that it wasn't. But he still won't do it, and you know what? Call me selfish, but I just don't think that's fair.
Sex and fingering don't make me come, which I've told him before. Only oral seems to do the trick. I told him this and he seemed way too cavalier about the whole thing, as if it was my fault I couldn't come from sex/fingering.
Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
I, however, go down on him every single time. I don't particularly like the act itself (it still kind of grosses me out), but I don't do it for me: I do it because it clearly pleases him, and I love the reaction to be honest.
So the other day I tried to bring the subject up; I asked if he was maybe uncomfortable going down because he wasn't confident in his skills. His only response was to laugh like that was a ridiculous question and said, "I'm not scared of it, it's just completely gross!"
So I asked if there was anything I could do to make him want to do it, ie. showering right before, etc. All he said was, "Nope, wouldn't make a difference, it's still gross in general."
I asked him why he thought girl-going-down-on-guy was any less gross, and he agreed with me that it wasn't. But he still won't do it, and you know what? Call me selfish, but I just don't think that's fair.
Sex and fingering don't make me come, which I've told him before. Only oral seems to do the trick. I told him this and he seemed way too cavalier about the whole thing, as if it was my fault I couldn't come from sex/fingering.
Am I being unreasonable? What should I do?
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Comments
But i agree with the others, if sex is an important part of a relationship for you and you think this could cause problems in the future then you should discuss that with him
Dump him and find someone who isn't disgusted by the female body.
I mean I don't know how you feel emotionally about this guy but seriously the way he said it wasn't all to nice either really was it?
Thats like you going down on him and then throwing up really!
- IF you think its worth trying some more with him, (not too sure if this is a grown up response or not) but dont give him head any more.. but even if this resulted to what you wanted to get. It'd still be out of force and not love.
HE should WANT to please you in every way possible. you've been mature and asked if he wanted you to shower straight before... which lets face it would pretty much solve the whole 'disgusting' problem.
he's selfish if you ask me.
but I'd find it hard to dump him if i loved him, myself personally cause I've been in relationships where they went down on me for 2 seconds and never did it again after and it lasted 3 years :SSSSS
would'nt say your being unreasonable, but I guess it just one of those thinks that can't realy pressure your guy to do for you, you can try an explain how it would make you feel, but if his mind is made up then you cant expect to change, i assume that he's not the kinda guy that would pressure you in the event that you did'nt want to give him head, for example I love to go down on my girlfriend and pleasure her, that said she's not that keen on giving head but she does it because she knows i like it, so in all try an explain to him how your feeling an hope it works out for you
Oddly enough, when she did break up with me she gave one of the reasons as that I didn't come during sex. :banghead:
She can. And I would.
Like Suzy said, a lot of girls can't orgasm with their partners without oral. I (fortunately) am not one of them, but it's literally my favourite sexual thing ever and if my other half didn't enjoy it or at least put up with it, I would be seriously rethinking my relationship.
I have the opposite problem, my partner doesnt let me do it, she does occasionaly, but not often, i bloody love it, giving a girl pleasure like that is great...
I convinced her to try a 69 once, it lasted about 20 seconds haha.
Some guys think its sick, i dont know why? a lot of girls get their first proper O that way.
Everyones entitled to have their own dealbreakers, and id rather just not be with someone than resent them forever because they were disgusted by my body.
Its pretty much the only way i come, so if its out of the question for a guy, then we're not really sexually compatible are we?
Other people may place less importance on it, and thats their prerogative, but just like I wouldnt go out with a man who insisted on no sex, i wouldnt go out with one who wouldnt give me head either. Its important to me
well durr, of course there is, but you soon miss it if youre not getting it and it becomes pretty damn important
A good sex life is one of the two most important aspects of a relationship, the other being compatible in terms of personality, simply getting on as two individuals. If you ain't getting good sex and you don't get on socially, the relationship isn't going to last.
I was in a relationship with a guy for two years and he maybe only went down on me I would say a total of 2-3 times. Mind you it never bothered me because he was always focused on pleasing me in other ways.
I am now in a relationship with another guy and have been for about 9 months. The first time we ever did anything he went down on me and every single time we start being sexual he always does it. Basically what i am trying to tell you is that you need to find someone who can please you. You are clearly not okay with the fact that he wont go down on you and you can't cum any other way, because honey, it is an incredible feeling and I am thankful everyday that my boyfriend LOVES doing it. And he is not shy to tell me that whatsoever.