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downward spiral

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i feel like i am loosing control...
7 years ago i started with bad depression. i was 6.13 stone and 5"7 tall.
2 years later i was experiancing psychosis and often self harmed.
i tried to kill myself, but didnt manage it.
slowly began my recovery. with lots of help i was discharged from mental health services 2 and half yrs later. then had 2 years of being mostly normal and free :)

now im not so sure. dark thoughts are taking over once again. im crying everyday. anxiety is making my tummy hurt. im getting nervous and shuit off. im locking doors and keeping curtains closed. people are looking at me more. and this morning in the shower i pressed a razor into my arm. only superficial nips but thats not the point. i felt out of control. im so scared:nervous:

i cant afford to be ill. my job doesnt allow it. if they find out, my future is finished.
im really wishing this is just a bad couple of months? but im scared it isnt.:crying:

and another thing just to top it off, im having a problem. i woke up two nights ago bleeding. im not anywhere due my period. its been getting heavier and today i am in agony. can stress do this?

i feel like im falling apart, in body and mind. please help:crying:


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awww *hug*'s hunniee xx

    sorry that i cant really offer any help, just want to let you know that peopole are here for you xx

    only thing i can suggest is, did you have any sort of techniques to calm yourself down or anything like that? x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi learning-to-live,

    Firstly, welcome to Thesite's boards, it can often be hard to start opening up and seek support for problems, so well done and thank you for sharing how you are feeling at the moment. Sound's like you are having a pretty hard time and that a few thoughts, feelings and actions have scared you recently.

    As has been posted, can you think back to the treatment / therapy / support you recieved last time? what kind of coping strategies did you learn. Can you use any of these now? have you seen our information pages? The ones under here may help. There are links to related articles, where to go for help etc.

    Do you have anyone you trust to talk openly with about all of this? It might be that you need some professional support too - perhaps think about seeing your GP?

    Also, depending on your work environment, maybe your Manager / Supervisor needs to know you are struggling at the moment? They do not need to know details, just that you may need some support.

    Periods can be affected by stress, so it is possible that how you feel at the moment has brought your period on. But, it's always best to get these things checked out by your GP.

    Take care and keep posting - :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you for replying.

    you are right, i am feeling scared at the moment, im trying to hang on to control but im scared its being takin from me. i have been looking at my relapse prevention work, to try and stop me going further down but i am scared its too late. i am scared to see my doctor incase she refers me back to mental health service. then my job is finished, im training to be a nurse and i wont pass occ. health if im poorly.

    i phoned in sick yesterday and today. last night i talked to my friend and that helped a little bit. im just feeling so tired and emotional.

    i use to use this site a long time ago as a different user name. i found it really helped me then. hopefully it can help me now.
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