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Stressed - Punching Walls
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello,
I'm so sorry for keep posting i DONT deserve your help!!!
I'm just soooo stressed out !!!
me and my care worker as a care plan and on there is to ring before 4:30 if need help I rang my care worker at 4:31 and reception went to get her and came bk saying shes on phone i think there lying coz i was ONE min late
I felt so upset i cried and cried punching walls ( new thing i do ) instead of cutting etc... then i left voice mail saying i cancel thurs appointment but now i regret it so left voice mail saying sorry and will she see me still (2moz)
she wont get it till 9am 2moz im scared she'll push me away now coz i now wanna see her (shes like that)
I'm struggling so much i just was upset i didnt wanna leave the house as most ppl r guna no im suicidal coz of my so called best friend
i feel lost and confussed!! plz help xx
I'm so sorry for keep posting i DONT deserve your help!!!
I'm just soooo stressed out !!!
me and my care worker as a care plan and on there is to ring before 4:30 if need help I rang my care worker at 4:31 and reception went to get her and came bk saying shes on phone i think there lying coz i was ONE min late
I felt so upset i cried and cried punching walls ( new thing i do ) instead of cutting etc... then i left voice mail saying i cancel thurs appointment but now i regret it so left voice mail saying sorry and will she see me still (2moz)
she wont get it till 9am 2moz im scared she'll push me away now coz i now wanna see her (shes like that)
I'm struggling so much i just was upset i didnt wanna leave the house as most ppl r guna no im suicidal coz of my so called best friend
i feel lost and confussed!! plz help xx
0
Comments
im sure everything will be fine with her xx *hug*
aha, YES!
i never used to punch walls but im trying to stop cutting,
i dno im so terid of fighting, oh its ok i wont b punching nothing else but walls only thing ill be breaking is my hand. xx
you say you are trying not to cut but you keep referring to hurting yourself inother ways like in the quote. i don't really know what to say to you. i could go on for another 10 mns but i don't think it'll change.. YOU'VE got to fight this. only you. People on here can't save you.
Dont think i'm being insensitive, ive been selfharming since the age of 13- i'm almost 20. recently i have cut so bad i lost alot of blood cut into a vein and ended up with 17 stiches. use the advice on these boards and on the site. you are not alone but you've got to move yourself towards the light at the end of the tunnel.
I cut deep too had to go a&e lots of times for stitches,
thats why trying to stop, i only wanted support, i know its only me who can help me but i am trying i see specalists etc too and still down - i cant help that
i don't really know what else to say...if it's fine as you say, you should feel supported. if not then there is something wrong. it seems a real positive that you think your care plan is fine. work with it
"my care plan is fine i think."
Is it part of your care plan to call an out of hours service after 4:30pm? If you feel you need it don't be worried to call them,
dp
it might help if you can try and see that a care worker is a professional who is there to help you, not someone who is going to manipulate you by "pushing you away when you want to see her". Remember they are an oversubscribed service so your appointment may have been offered to someone else and this would not be her pushing you away.
If you don't feel supported then i think your care plan needs adapting so you feel you can get the help you need. I would also encourage you to talk to the professionals involved in your case about getting on the waiting list for CBT or psychotherapy. You have a low sense of self worth and low self esteem and until this starts to be addressed and worked on the symptoms of this ie the self harming and ED will not improve. You are worthy of support and help, if you aren't happy with something ie you don't feel your care plan meets your needs then talking about this is not complaining, it's helping the care worker to help you improve, and being proactive in your recovery. You have a right to be helped and you deserve help, all help, here on the forums or in real life, but you also need to help yourself by communicating with the people who want to help you, otherwise they don't know they aren't helping.
thank you for your reply hunie,
My care worker never rang me bk :-(
GUTTED its all my fault shudnt of cancelled, but wish she wud of rang to say sorry cant meet now and not ignore me coz now i feel worthless and very down so i cut wudnt stop bleeding
Ohhh well its all my fault i deserve it,
im not sure if its ofter 4:30 in care plan but outta hours i m
encouraged to called CATTS!
never dare tho im scared of everyone aspec phones xx