Home Sex & Relationships
At The Mix, we want to make our services as helpful as we can. To do this, we’d love to ask you a few questions about you, your visit to The Mix and its impact. It should take only about 5-10 minutes to complete. Take this survey and get a chance at winning a £200 Amazon voucher​.
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Sign up here
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

23yrs old and never had a girlfriend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
i am 23yrs old and i have never had a girlfriend. im at a point in my life were im startin to think about my future and were im going to be in so many years time and all i can see is myself been on my own. From wot ive been told by alot of people im very attractive a decent guy but they dont understand how im single and have never had a girlfriend, its even got to the point were people have asked me if im gay, which im not and i find quite insulting, im not homophobic, im just sick of hearing it.
the only time i have sex is when im on a night out high on drugs, for some reason when im on party drugs e.g pills coke speed etc im a different person completley. my friends think of me as some kind of legand because i can chat up most women, ive even brought a girl back to mine once 20minutes after introducing myself to her. but when im sober i cant talk to girls in the sense that im interested in them, i can say hello goodbye and ask for dirctions but thats about it, its as if im scared of women when sober.
Im at that age now were alot of the people i have grown up with are settling down with their patners and having children and theres me who's on his own and scared. i dont want to be 40 and still single

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi 23fromleeds,

    First of all, let me reassure you that there are loads of people out there who are 23 and single, so rest assured, there's still loads of time left to meet someone who you really like :)

    Another good thing is that you recognise that you want to start to try and practice talking to women when you are not high. And, it does take practice, especially if you are used to having a helping hand in the form of drugs. You can also take some confidence from the fact that women clearly think you are attractive. Have a look at our article on boosting your pulling confidence. It's fine to take things slowly though. Some people who find themselves shy around the opposite sex find it useful to set themselves small challenges to help boost their confidence - maybe one day, challenge yourself to say hi to someone you wouldn't usually, then later you could set yourself the task of asking someone something about themselves (questions and compliments always go down well!). Even if these don't lead anywhere - it's good practice :)

    Obviously meeting and getting to know women who you might like to have a relationship is different from chatting up women in clubs - and understandably a bit more scary. It might help to think about other places you can meet people where there is more time to chat and develop a friendship on which you can build. How about work, or volunteering - or friends of friends. Online dating is another place where lots of people meet these days.

    Finally, do take things at your own pace. There's lots of time to meet someone, and when other people choose to settle down doesn't matter - everyone does things differently and, while it's easy to do, nothing good ever came from comparing ourselves to others. *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the only time i have sex is when im on a night out high on drugs, for some reason when im on party drugs

    For me, this sets off the alarm bells. The fact you go out and get high on drugs is likely to be causing you major problems with regards to being able to form a relationship when sober, and when you are your true self. For a start, it will put girls off you big time...especially the decent ones. As well as the fact that it may become an addiction, if it isn't already, as you have much more (fake) confidence and therefore may even 'prefer' yourself when under the influence. In turn, this will just make you feel worse about yourself and spark insecurities.

    My advice would be to start from scratch. Ditch the drugs and work on being yourself and building your confidence levels for real. This way, you'll be able to chat up girls just as well when you're sober, and eventually form the basis of a relationship, rather than a one night stand.

    Good luck, keep us updated :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you in a rush to find a girlfriend?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stop getting 'pilled up' and you'll come across more as relationship material, rather than a smackhead with an erection
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with Pilgrim but Nicole said it better. No girl is gonna wanna call you back after all she's seen of you is being off your face
Sign In or Register to comment.