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feeling suicidal

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel like I want to kill myself
I can't put up with the emptiness anymore
I'm desperate to be loved and wanted

Comments

  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Hi there,
    Welcome to TheSite.org - you've come to the right place to let your feelings out. :)

    You've told us you feel desperate to be 'loved and wanted' which suggests you're feeling incredibly lonely at the moment. I'm really sorry to hear this. Being able to connect with people whether it be online or otherwise is a positive step forward and I'm really pleased you're reaching out in this way.

    Some people find it helps to talk their feelings over with someone from The Samaritans. This is an organisation that can provide support 24/7 to those feeling despair. You can contact them via telephone or email. Here's a link to their website with further information: http://www.samaritans.org/

    In the meantime, do let us know how you're feeling - it would be good to know if there is something specific happening that has led to you feeling so low - and remember that it doesn't matter what it is, we all react differently to different circumstance.

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm completely lonely.

    I can be in a room full of people, but my heart will be breaking because I'm so lonely.

    I enter pointless relationships that I know will destroy me on the off chance that at some stage I might feel a moment of happiness.

    I generally don't though.

    It's normally just misery.

    I'll stay with someone until they end the relationship. I've only ever ended one relationship. I was with an emotionally abusive guy for 7 years. I eventually gained the courage to leave him and it felt good. But even after that I felt bad for him because I knew that he needed me. Or at least I thought he did.

    I finished this relationship nearly 3 years ago and have gone from one short term disaterous relationship to another. As well as a number of one night stands.

    When I sleep with somebody that I've just met,n I feel good while it's happening, then afterwards I feel so bad about myself.

    I don't feel like I have anybody that I can talk to, I'm completely alone.

    I just haven't got the energy to carry on anymore
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    please dont
    shyandsad wrote: »
    I feel like I want to kill myself
    I can't put up with the emptiness anymore
    I'm desperate to be loved and wanted[/QUOTE

    killing youself aint the answer, just imagine what pain and upset you will cause to your parents and loved ones, ive been were u are and tried to go through with it and faild, and i can tell you with all honesty i am so glad that it did go wrong, i admit its not easy gettin a grip, but i pomise you things can only get better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've felt low before (I've had depression for years) and thought I was at rock bottom in the past, but it wasn't anywhere as bad as this.

    I can't see the point of getting out of bed, so I don't.

    I'm not eating properly, at least I might lose some weight so people won't be able to call me fat anymore. Still won't be able to stop people calling me ugly though.

    I just want somebody to put me first for once in my life
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug* Big Hugs.
    I am sorry u are feeling this way, maybe u should try and go to your dr's and tell them how u are feeling?
    And when u say these things about yourself (fat and ugly) thats sooo negative u need to try and think positively about yourself and others will 2.
    Please please u not commit suicide my brother did 7 years ago, and it has had devasting impact on us as a family, also u won't believe how many people are really there for u if u need the help, it takes alot of courage to admit these feelings u are having but u have made a big step in the right direction by posting on here:yes: .
    The next step is finding someone u trust and confiding in them.
    Goodluck just out of interest how old are u? and do u have family around?
    x
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    shyandsad wrote: »

    I just want somebody to put me first for once in my life

    *hug* As hard as it sounds, you putting yourself first is the most important thing right now. It sounds like you have a low opinion of yourself and so a positive way forward at this point would be to start to identify the traits you like about yourself and the things in life you deserve as an individual. Do you think you might be able to start doing that? You could try and make a list of things you feel good about and then move on to things you'd like to improve on.

    The good news is that you do have strength and courage - you left an abusive relationship which takes guts and willpower and if you didn't get any support with that at the time then it's bound to have an impact on how you've been since. So, basically what I'm saying is try not to be too hard on yourself as you really have had a lot to cope with. :)

    As you've found out, sleeping with different people can feel like a way of coping with loneliness in the short term as for those moments it creates a feeling of being wanted. However, after that, you say you feel bad about yourself. While there's absolutely no shame in enjoying a varied sex life, how you feel is most important and so you may find that identifying new interests to become absorbed in, or ways of getting support with how you're feeling at the moment, is just the break you need from these flings.

    Netdoctor has a really good article on improving self esteem that you may find helpful. It highlights some of the suggestions I've made here in more detail.

    In the very short term, what are you up to at the moment generally?

    Keep posting to let us know how you're feeling. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the comments

    I know ending it all is really selfish and terrible for the people I leave behind (if anybody is even bothered) but the way I feel at the minute I don't care.

    I don't care about anything anymore.

    I haven't been washed in days, haven't left the house.

    I've text 'friends' asking for help but nobody has answered.

    I'm so alone, my heart is broken beyond repair

    I just want it to go away

    Please
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Leaving an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things you can ever do. Even admitting that it needs to be done is so hard. I’ve been there, it hurts to talk about, I know that feeling. What I’m trying to say is, you’re not alone. Like **Helen** said, this is going to have a massive impact on your life.

    That fact that you’re seeking advice and support is a really positive step and you should be proud of yourself for this. You have come through so much. PM if you would like to talk, but no pressure. You’re not alone and people care. *hug*
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