If Anyone Fancies Giving Some Feedback On Some Poetry/Lyrics...

Former Member

Then it would be very much appreciated I know a lot of it is very bleak, sad stuff. I recognize that some of it is cliché. But I'm vain enough to allow myself the belief that there's perhaps some slight merit in SOME of it. So yeah I have a site up, and if anyone fancies browsing through what I've got on there and giving some feedback then it would be really kind of you guys.

http://justafewlyrics.blogspot.com/

Not asking you to read all fifty haha, but if you are going to read some then please if possible don't just read say the first three - have a look at some of my older stuff and the stuff in between too please I'm both nervous and excited at seeing what feedback people have to offer and look forward with trepidation to any replies on here :hyper: Cheers guys!

Former Member

I think that their good, no real song structure which isn't necessarily a bad thing, But I think that this makes them more poems than lyrics

Also, I think that Unnamed baby is a tad out of order as its basically assuming that all aborted babies are concived because of carelessness;"You’re a murder victim of stupidity and lack of care", what about victiums of rape or people whos contraception didn't work? aye?

Sure, some people need muses and that was yours I just think that you need to be a bit more sensitive about certain topics

Other than that nice work

Former Member

Thanks very much for the feedback man - really really appreciate it Yeah I think I can accept now that they're more poetry, started out trying to write them as songs but I don't have a musical enough mind for it really.

As for Unnamed Baby, I understand your point. It's a very personal one for me, I was very angry at the time of writing. Doesn't reflect my views on abortion in general, as I consider myself pro-choice for the most part, but more on an individual matter I was involved in that formed the basis for that particular poem; a matter where I DO think that line (though harsh) is fair.

Former Member

fair enough,
I've read a few more and I kinda think that some of them are more spoke word (sort of like poetry but a mix of rap and poetry, look up polar bear on youtube)