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Unrequited Love!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi folks, hope you're all well.

Not sure what responses i'm expecting, none if i'm honest actually, but feel that I need to vent some serious feelings i've been having recently.

I'm a mid-twenties, single, male working in a half decent job, life was ok until this amazing girl started working for my firm.

I never believed in all the "mushy love crap". i'd had girlfriends in the past, they were ok but nothing major. Anyhoo, this hit me smack in the face like a tonne or bricks, love at first sight.:love:

we've worked together for a while now and have grown fairly close as friends and it feels like my feelings for her have grown and grown, to a point where she is the first thing i think of in the morning and the last at night.

I have a good social network and i'm out with friends regularly but i cant help myself thinking about her and how much better the times with friends would be if she was also there.

I'm 99% sure these feelings are one way. from what she has said in the past i am really not her type and not what she would look for in a bloke. also she has a boyfriend, they argue all the time, but seem to be loved up.

I am realistic and know there is no romantic future for us, but i cannot shake this feeling and it is slowly overwhelming me...:banghead:

I'm sure i'll get over it, hopefully this helps...

Cheers for listening (reading)

John Boy:thumb:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Johnboy,

    Welcome to the boards :wave:

    Hope venting helped! Writing things down can be really good for getting a new perspective on things - and can even help you to think about things in a different way.

    Things sound really frustrating at the moment - its good that you're looking for advice or at least somewhere to rant - even just doing that helps you regain some control of the situation. We've got an article on unrequited love which you might find useful to have a look at.

    If you're pretty sure that things won't happen between you, accepting this might be the first big step, enabling you to start moving on and getting over these feelings. Like getting over a relationship, this does take time - so be patient with yourself and focus on things you enjoy in your life.

    It's great you do have a good bunch of friends - now might be the time to focus on spending time with them - have you spoken to any of them about how you feel?

    Another thing that could help with the process of moving on is trying something new - volunteering for example could focus your mind on learning something new and you could meet new people as well.

    Feel free to come back and rant, chat, ask for advice - everyone's really friendly and there's a lot of wisdom to be found here :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fostress wrote: »
    Hi Johnboy,

    Welcome to the boards :wave:

    Hope venting helped! Writing things down can be really good for getting a new perspective on things - and can even help you to think about things in a different way.

    Things sound really frustrating at the moment - its good that you're looking for advice or at least somewhere to rant - even just doing that helps you regain some control of the situation. We've got an article on unrequited love which you might find useful to have a look at.

    If you're pretty sure that things won't happen between you, accepting this might be the first big step, enabling you to start moving on and getting over these feelings. Like getting over a relationship, this does take time - so be patient with yourself and focus on things you enjoy in your life.

    It's great you do have a good bunch of friends - now might be the time to focus on spending time with them - have you spoken to any of them about how you feel?

    Another thing that could help with the process of moving on is trying something new - volunteering for example could focus your mind on learning something new and you could meet new people as well.

    Feel free to come back and rant, chat, ask for advice - everyone's really friendly and there's a lot of wisdom to be found here :)


    Would agree with all of that. It can be really hard to get over these feelings and move on even though people might tell you that there's nothing to get over seeing as you haven't been in a relationship with the person. It's especially hard if you see the person every day and you get that frisson of excitement when you do.

    I'm in sort of the same situation you are and I find myself getting jealous whenever the object of my affection speaks to other women. I'm holding on to the fact that as time passes it will be easier and eventually someone will come along who will be worthy of us.

    GB x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been like this. I loved this boy for a year, he sure didn't feel the same, but for me every accidental touch, every look, meant everything!
    It hurt but I got over it, by completely avoiding him!
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